How do you balance self preservation with sacrifice?

[SocraticAbrahamic]

How do you balance self-preservation with sacrifice? I believe in the cross, but not the resurrection, I believe in Jesus but not the fact he is God, I love God for his gifts, and yet the fear of God is wisdom. As a man, I have developed my faith in God through caring for the self to help others. I have used my abilities, which I claim are God-gifted, to endure hardship and sacrifice my own needs for the needs of others. Yet truly I feel I am not willing to sacrifice my heartfelt doubtfulness, as this is a deep characteristic that helps lead me to the truth. Yet to be a true believer in any religion requires the submission of my thought process to hold faith within scripture.

I deeply want to build a relationship with God and love others as his gift, and yet it feels like all the expectations of what a believer is, based on ideology, create tension and disconnect. All of us are rooted back to our creator, and our gratitude for him is my focus. My main question is; Should I forfeit the self to develop stronger relations with others on the representation of God? Or is it sacred to constantly question the application of the self for truthfulness, but at the sacrifice of community with the body of God?

I do go to a Greek Orthodox Church but almost everything Ive questioned is Heresy and I am fearful to be disconnected from my culture and community.

I am willing to sacrifice anything of the self for our Lord who is outside of it and yet i am conflicted on the right way of doing so.

 

[Spice]

Welcome to RF!

I believe in the cross, but not the resurrection, I believe in Jesus but not the fact he is God, I love God for his gifts, and yet the fear of God is wisdom.

I agree with you here right up to "fear of God." I don't fear Him. I don't believe He is a punisher, or a disciplinarian, just a steady hand of direction.

I see nothing whatsoever wrong in having doubts about what we think, what we've been taught, what we read, or even what we try, but I do recommend that you put all your faith in God's guidance and forgiveness, should you make a wrong turn, and then without doubt in Him, move on with your journey.

Questioning, IMO, is nurturing growth. But I've found that expressing those questions to some people, even if they are persistent in asking, causes discomfort for them, which is not a kindness. Sometimes it inflames their piety which can lead to haughtiness, again, not a kindness. So let God guide you on your journey and in the sharing of your journey as you travel The Way Jesus taught so well.

Here, at RF, we expect to hear alternate thoughts, opinions, beliefs, faiths, etc., and for the most part manage to keep our discomfort and piety in check, so ask and share away!

Again, welcome!