So, do you ever feel ‘bad’ for want of a better word, for declining a friend’s invitation to hang out, and when he/she asks why, you simply say ‘I just don’t feel like it.’ I think it’s better than finding excuses, that aren’t true. Lol But, one of my friends didn’t talk to me for about a week afterwards. Do you feel it’s ok to say you don't feel like it and make no excuse, or make an excuse, when declining social invitations?
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How do you decline social invitations?
- Thread starter Deidre
- Start date
This, really, should be enough. Alas, in our almost anti-introvert culture that does not accept some people really don't like being around people all the time, there is social pressure to come up with reasons that are acceptable to the listener. This, IMHO, should not be so, but in my extrovert-worshiping culture, I don't see this standard changing within my lifetime. Oh well.
Love this, yes, agree!! The fact that the culture needs titles to describe someone just wanting time alone (introvert) is rather silly, too.
Thanks for the comment!
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
I appreciate it when somebody just clearly says "no," no matter how they do it. It's better than all the people who say "yes" and then flake out. A lot of people seem to have a hard time saying "no" even though they have no intention of following through. I especially notice this with friends I have who are in their 20's.
Augustus
…
It's about expectation. You need to manage other people's.
From an early age, I cultivated a reputation for not answering my phone or replying to messages immediately, so no one complains if i don't answer the phone or reply to messages immediately.
Also, if I didn't want to do something then I wouldn't do it. So nobody tries to persuade me otherwise or gets offended if I say no. They know I'm like that with everyone and that we'll catch up later instead.
If I agree to something though, people know I will always keep my word.
From an early age, I cultivated a reputation for not answering my phone or replying to messages immediately, so no one complains if i don't answer the phone or reply to messages immediately.
Also, if I didn't want to do something then I wouldn't do it. So nobody tries to persuade me otherwise or gets offended if I say no. They know I'm like that with everyone and that we'll catch up later instead.
If I agree to something though, people know I will always keep my word.
I just say no and I rarely feel bad about it. But that is because I am an ***
vaguelyhumanoid
Active Member
I'd just say "I'm not in the mood", "I'm not up to it" or something neutral and honest like that. I wouldn't lie and I wouldn't ignore them. Personally, I can't stand it when people leave things like that ambiguous. It's very stressful. I'd always rather be told something up front.
It's not just a matter of introverted vs extroverted. I'm staunchly extroverted, and autistic. Being introverted wouldn't make things harder - if anything, it seems like it would be easier then to deal with being socially isolated.
It's not just a matter of introverted vs extroverted. I'm staunchly extroverted, and autistic. Being introverted wouldn't make things harder - if anything, it seems like it would be easier then to deal with being socially isolated.
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
If I don't feel like it, I'm just honest about it if I don't feel like going somewhere. I don't see any reason to lie to friends about it.
I make an excuse, usually something like.....
I won't be able to attend.
It's because I don't want to.
I just got a high school class of 1964 reunion invitation requesting a
yes or no so they know how much food, booze, etc, to buy.
I won't go so I'll send a thanks but no thanks response out of courtesy.
I went to a 15 year reunion and didn't like it. The class snobs (money kids)
were still snobs.
Those not gifted with well off parents in high school that "made it well"
were even more snobbish.
It was a socio-economic bragging rights session.
yes or no so they know how much food, booze, etc, to buy.
I won't go so I'll send a thanks but no thanks response out of courtesy.
I went to a 15 year reunion and didn't like it. The class snobs (money kids)
were still snobs.
Those not gifted with well off parents in high school that "made it well"
were even more snobbish.
It was a socio-economic bragging rights session.
I think it must all be your fault.
When I go to my high school reunions, people I was never friends with were quite friendly.
It must be my warm & engaging personality.
So try to be more like me!
Tell yourself....must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting, must be more revolting,
.must be more revolting.
O.K. I AM REVOLTING!
must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting.
must be more revolting...must be more revolting, must be more revolting,
.must be more revolting.
O.K. I AM REVOLTING!
Whilst there is some truth to this, some of the people in my history who have been most hurt by a simple refusal have been introverts.
It depends, I think, on whether a rejection of the invitation is seen as a rejection of a hand in friendship, and I'd see self-esteem a more telling indicator than relative extroversion.
Hey, wanna hang out?
Wirey
Fartist
Very believable.