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How important is humour in your belief system?
- Thread starter Geoff-Allen
- Start date
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
How many different Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatics - Only one: Hands are already in the air, Praise Jesus!
Roman Catholics - None. They use candles.
Pentecostals - Ten. One to change, nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians - None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
Episcopalians - Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how much they like the old one better.
Mormons - Ten. One man to change the bulb, and nine wives to tell him how to do it.
United Methodists - We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Southern Baptists - Change?!?!? We’re not going to change anything, praise the Lord!
Charismatics - Only one: Hands are already in the air, Praise Jesus!
Roman Catholics - None. They use candles.
Pentecostals - Ten. One to change, nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians - None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
Episcopalians - Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how much they like the old one better.
Mormons - Ten. One man to change the bulb, and nine wives to tell him how to do it.
United Methodists - We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Southern Baptists - Change?!?!? We’re not going to change anything, praise the Lord!
Very important.
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Also search for the phrase cosmic joke ... for example -
The enlightened fool is the one who sees the ego trips of society and can still find joy and laughter in its midst. The fool is often the enlightened one, the one with crazy wisdom, with laughter and jokes as their weapon, they cut through the mundane conformity and bring to light the latent child like bliss bubbling just beneath the surface of all seriousness. The fool possesses a wisdom that is out of reach of the conformist. A playful attitude in touch with enormous amounts of creativity.
Read more -
The Cosmic Joke behind Enlightenment
Cheers!
The enlightened fool is the one who sees the ego trips of society and can still find joy and laughter in its midst. The fool is often the enlightened one, the one with crazy wisdom, with laughter and jokes as their weapon, they cut through the mundane conformity and bring to light the latent child like bliss bubbling just beneath the surface of all seriousness. The fool possesses a wisdom that is out of reach of the conformist. A playful attitude in touch with enormous amounts of creativity.
Read more -
The Cosmic Joke behind Enlightenment
Cheers!
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.
Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Oliver Stone:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across at you.
Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Saddam Hussein #2:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
Joseph Stalin:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
O.J.:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road
But why it did, I've not been told!
Back to the Links and Articles of Interests Page
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.
Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Oliver Stone:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across at you.
Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Saddam Hussein #2:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
Joseph Stalin:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
O.J.:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road
But why it did, I've not been told!
Back to the Links and Articles of Interests Page
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself.
Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith"
Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here, let me give you the tour so you can see for yourself"
He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live.
As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, request that's always granted by the two.
Every time they stop to a house Satan never fails to display how much of a lovely guy he really is by telling amazing stories, singing, cracking jokes and just generally being a great person.
At sunset the devil sees that Jack was very tired and decides to show him the house he'll be spending the rest of eternity into.
As they walk to Jack's new house the two pass close to a huge wall and Jack asks: "What's behind there?"
Satan: "Oh, nothing that should concern you, pay it no mind"
Despite his curiosity Jack thought better not to bother Satan with further questions and just followed him to his new house where Satan promised he'd be back the following morning to show him the recreational center before finally bidding him a goodnight after a long day.
That night however Jack kept thinking back at the whole situation he's in and how surreal everything was until his thoughts eventually jumped to the wall he saw earlier in the day.
After a few minutes trying to guess what could there be behind that wall that Satan couldn't even tell him he decided he should investigate, as such he took a deep breath and dived into the night walking back to the place where the wall was.
Once there he searched for some clues until he saw some faint light coming from a spot in the wall; upon closer inspection he saw that there was a hole and the light was coming from behind the wall.
Jack took a deep breath and scrounged up the courage to look into the crack on the wall and what he saw was a spectacle much alike what he always thought hell would be.
On the other side of the wall huge flames were scattered all over a burnt and scalding hot ground and much to his horror he saw other souls inside that nightmare being eternally burned and never consuming, screaming and pleading for help.
Jack rushed back into his place where he just quietly sobbed and cried all night for he was sure now that the Devil was just toying with him to give him a bit of hope right before tossing him into eternal despair.
The following morning Satan showed up once again and told Jack to come with him.
Jack pleaded: "PLEASE! PLEASE! Don't take me to hell, I'll do anything just let me stay here, I don't wanna burn for all eternity!"
Satan: "What are you talking about??? I'm just gonna show you the recreational center like I told you yesterday"
Jack: "Don't lie to me, I saw what was going on behind the giant wall!"
Satan: "Ooooh you saw that! Don't worry that's not for you, that's the Christian hell"
Jack: "The christian hell? Why would the christian hell be like that?"
Satan: "I don't know either man, they just want it that way"
Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith"
Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here, let me give you the tour so you can see for yourself"
He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live.
As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, request that's always granted by the two.
Every time they stop to a house Satan never fails to display how much of a lovely guy he really is by telling amazing stories, singing, cracking jokes and just generally being a great person.
At sunset the devil sees that Jack was very tired and decides to show him the house he'll be spending the rest of eternity into.
As they walk to Jack's new house the two pass close to a huge wall and Jack asks: "What's behind there?"
Satan: "Oh, nothing that should concern you, pay it no mind"
Despite his curiosity Jack thought better not to bother Satan with further questions and just followed him to his new house where Satan promised he'd be back the following morning to show him the recreational center before finally bidding him a goodnight after a long day.
That night however Jack kept thinking back at the whole situation he's in and how surreal everything was until his thoughts eventually jumped to the wall he saw earlier in the day.
After a few minutes trying to guess what could there be behind that wall that Satan couldn't even tell him he decided he should investigate, as such he took a deep breath and dived into the night walking back to the place where the wall was.
Once there he searched for some clues until he saw some faint light coming from a spot in the wall; upon closer inspection he saw that there was a hole and the light was coming from behind the wall.
Jack took a deep breath and scrounged up the courage to look into the crack on the wall and what he saw was a spectacle much alike what he always thought hell would be.
On the other side of the wall huge flames were scattered all over a burnt and scalding hot ground and much to his horror he saw other souls inside that nightmare being eternally burned and never consuming, screaming and pleading for help.
Jack rushed back into his place where he just quietly sobbed and cried all night for he was sure now that the Devil was just toying with him to give him a bit of hope right before tossing him into eternal despair.
The following morning Satan showed up once again and told Jack to come with him.
Jack pleaded: "PLEASE! PLEASE! Don't take me to hell, I'll do anything just let me stay here, I don't wanna burn for all eternity!"
Satan: "What are you talking about??? I'm just gonna show you the recreational center like I told you yesterday"
Jack: "Don't lie to me, I saw what was going on behind the giant wall!"
Satan: "Ooooh you saw that! Don't worry that's not for you, that's the Christian hell"
Jack: "The christian hell? Why would the christian hell be like that?"
Satan: "I don't know either man, they just want it that way"
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Here's a little from Swami Beyondananda -
At a time when political polarization, dysfunction, and confusion seem to be at an all-time high, and when noise and static seem to be drowning out sane discours ... the Wiki Politiki Radio Show offers a heartening alternative: Fun, laughter, constructive conversation, and insight.
Its purpose is to cultivate the wisdom of many perspectives, and create generative conversations to help us work together to find real solutions to the problems we fac3 ... or as Swami would say, "Let's bring left and right front and center to turn the funk into function, and leave the junk at the junction."
Each week on the Wiki Politiki Radio Show, host Steve Bhaerman (also known as cosmic comic Swami Beyondananda) will bring two "visionary, solutionary" voices to the show to offer their viewpoints, and then collaborate to find a wiser way forward. We're not expecting our guests to agree about everything. That would be boring and unproductive!
We do expect that by speaking clearly and listening respectfully, there will be some "Aha's" and new pathways for co-creation. And there will be plenty of ha-ha's as well, as Steve and Swami bring much-needed humor to the political landscape.
Read more at his site -
Political humor - political satire, new age humor - Swami Beyondananda
Also a quick look on Youtube -
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=swami+beyondananda
At a time when political polarization, dysfunction, and confusion seem to be at an all-time high, and when noise and static seem to be drowning out sane discours ... the Wiki Politiki Radio Show offers a heartening alternative: Fun, laughter, constructive conversation, and insight.
Its purpose is to cultivate the wisdom of many perspectives, and create generative conversations to help us work together to find real solutions to the problems we fac3 ... or as Swami would say, "Let's bring left and right front and center to turn the funk into function, and leave the junk at the junction."
Each week on the Wiki Politiki Radio Show, host Steve Bhaerman (also known as cosmic comic Swami Beyondananda) will bring two "visionary, solutionary" voices to the show to offer their viewpoints, and then collaborate to find a wiser way forward. We're not expecting our guests to agree about everything. That would be boring and unproductive!
We do expect that by speaking clearly and listening respectfully, there will be some "Aha's" and new pathways for co-creation. And there will be plenty of ha-ha's as well, as Steve and Swami bring much-needed humor to the political landscape.
Read more at his site -
Political humor - political satire, new age humor - Swami Beyondananda
Also a quick look on Youtube -
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=swami+beyondananda