How Many Posters Does It Take?

[Lightkeeper]

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

* 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
* 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
* 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
* 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
* 53 to flame the spell checkers
* 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
* 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...
* another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
* 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
* 15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
* 156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
* 109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group
* 203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped
* 111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group
* 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
* 27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
* 14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
* 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
* 33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
* 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
* 19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
* 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
* 44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
* 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
* 143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
* 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[Ceridwen018]

Lightkeeper, that's perfect! :biglaugh:

 

[Sunstone]

Lightkeeper, that's perfect! :biglaugh:

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say it's perfect. I think it's almost perfect, but shouldn't "Lightkeeper" be spelled "Light Keeper"?

 

[Pah]

I see growth for Religious Forums in Lightkeeper's list. Can we ask Rex to provide more light bulbs?

Bob

P.S. Come to think of it, Atheists are now sometimes called "brights" :biglaugh:

 

[Feathers in Hair]

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say it's perfect. I think it's almost perfect, but shouldn't "Lightkeeper" be spelled "Light Keeper"?

*falls over, laughing* Now what category would that put you in? If there were a category for peace-makers like " *20 to remind those changing the lightbulbs that they are each lightbulb-changer is an individual of worth whose opinion should be celebrated* "... well, I would 'fess up to that. Of course, I'm guilty of about 15 other things on the list itself, so I needn't make up a new category, hehehe!

 

[Green Gaia]

*falls over, laughing* Now what category would that put you in? If there were a category for peace-makers like " *20 to remind those changing the lightbulbs that they are each lightbulb-changer is an individual of worth whose opinion should be celebrated* "... well, I would 'fess up to that. Of course, I'm guilty of about 15 other things on the list itself, so I needn't make up a new category, hehehe!

That reminds me of my favorite light bulb joke:

Q: How many UUs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: The Unitarians wish to issue the following statement:
"We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that lightbulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb, and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

 

[SoulTYPE]

...and one SoulType to insert the bulb and run off to look at bikini models.

 

[Lightkeeper]

That reminds me of my favorite light bulb joke:

Q: How many UUs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

LOL** How do you get the UU's into the lightbulb?:biglaugh:

 

[Scuba Pete]

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1
Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: ?
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, includingincandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined.
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Church of Christ: 2
One to make sure the light had repented and one to baptise it before putting it to use.

Amish:
What's a light bulb?

 

[SoulTYPE]

And Lightkeeper to Keep the Light on.

 

[Valjean]

FOTFL!

Oh God..... Stop it!.....

Where's my inhaler.....?