How to say no (I think this is a repeat, not sure)

[Unveiled Artist]

This week Monday, I had a vision attack episode. Off and on, my vision would go completely double and no one knows the cause they just know it's not physical. Anyway. The bus driver is very fundamental pastor and I try to get on the bus as everyone is helping me. As we talk (as we do from time to time), he...fast forward...prays for me. He says "say 'in Jesus name'" I told him I didn't feel comfortable saying this in the form of prayer. He says that by praying in His name, my vision would be healed. Again for the fifth time he told me to pray in His name. I say it in a non-praying manor, and he continues. Long story short, he prays alone whispering where I can hear him faintly talking to god and saying "heal her of this illness."

Fast forward this morning.

Today, I had some work to do at my school. I just started school and I have to keep up with my math classes to graduate next year. So, this morning strangely the same week, I had another spell. I was eating at Crackel Barrel restaurant and trying to sit down without falling and once in my chair, a woman came to me and asked me if I'm alright. (Innocent, yes). Then she says "can I pray for you?" I don't say no. That's impolite. She held my hand, said she didn't know what faith I was, and asked the lord to heal me.

Many Christians might call this a sign, but even thinking that in and of itself is kind of robbing me the rights of my own faith.

Anyway, what would you do if you were in the exact situations I was in?

Say you had a burka, a rosary on the table, or what a Jew wears on his head (sorry, don't know the name). It doesn't matter. Many people still walk up and feel they need to literally pray for you without taking time to say "since we have different faiths, let's have a moment of silence".

From those positions of those faiths or any person of any faith, what would you do in the exact situations I was in?

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong forum. It's not a debate. Please don't turn it into one. (Debate meaning challenging my views and asking for support rather than asking questions and needing more clarification)

 

[Riverwolf]

Honestly, I can't say. I've never been in that kind of situation.

Maybe I'd say that when it comes to healing, I pray to Sirona? (I know, she's a Celtic Goddess and I'm Germanic polytheist, but there's a reason.)

 

[Thief]

I've seen people go to their knees and go for that spontaneous 'moment'.....

can't say I care for it.

The Carpenter said....
Go to your closet and close the door....and the Father that knows you in secret will hear you.

He was critical of the Pharisees praying in public

as for attempting to heal another.....I say....
the same technique applies...
say to your Lord (in private)......I saw someone of need....

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I just tell people I'm not a believer, save their prayers, or some other line. It tends to not really matter because in my experience they're going to pray for you anyways. It's been explained to me that this is a gesture of good will, but to me it seems like a gesture of arrogance to insist their god heal you, even if you believe in a different god, that their god work in your life for positive change, even though you are content on bringing that about yourself.
Personally, I wish people would leave religion as a personal issue and not involve it with other people's lives.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I've seen people go to their knees and go for that spontaneous 'moment'.....

can't say I care for it.

The Carpenter said....
Go to your closet and close the door....and the Father that knows you in secret will hear you.

He was critical of the Pharisees praying in public

as for attempting to heal another.....I say....
the same technique applies...
say to your Lord (in private)......I saw someone of need....

Actually, that's a good point. I remember reading that. I think it could have been more appropriate to ask my faith and say "do you feel comfortable with my praying for you" without the intent of praying anyway. I don't know many people who do that here, there. Kinda makes a difference according to that scripture.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I just tell people I'm not a believer, save their prayers, or some other line. It tends to not really matter because in my experience they're going to pray for you anyways. It's been explained to me that this is a gesture of good will, but to me it seems like a gesture of arrogance to insist their god heal you, even if you believe in a different god, that their god work in your life for positive change, even though you are content on bringing that about yourself.
Personally, I wish people would leave religion as a personal issue and not involve it with other people's lives.

I was thinking of doing that with the bus driver. When I became Catholic, he told me that the Church was the works of the devil and wondered why I'd join it. Then that Monday, he did ask me what I believed. I told him I believed in the spirits of the earth and ancestors. He says in his country, people believe the same thing and we are wrong. He was shocked that I didn't believe in god. I guess just not my personality. Good idea though.

 

[BSM1]

I always stop those who want to pray for me (and there have been many over the years) because I don't think they have any closer relationship to the Almighty than I. Also, I would challenge the bus driver to pray for a more lucrative job and get back to me with the results.

 

[Katzpur]

Carlita, personally, I would never ask anybody who wanted to pray for me not to. I wouldn't necessarily believe their prayers were going to do any good (although I wouldn't discount the possibility either). The way I look at it, it's a thoughtful gesture on their part, and I can't see it doing any harm.

 

[lovesong]

Anyway, what would you do if you were in the exact situations I was in?

I would honestly just say "no thank you." I don't think that would be impolite, what's impolite is them asking. It's impolite because they, as strangers, are coming up to you and essentially either asking if you share their faith, are willing to give their faith a try, or at very least putting you in an awkward situation. I know they often mean well but when someone isn't doing well the nicest thing you could do is ask if they're ok and if there's anything they need, not bring up the potential to make them feel uncomfortable. I view turning down a prayer as the same as turning down a door-to-door or street table evangelist, just a polite "no thank you" is fine, you're not obligated to take their religious advise.

 

[Terese]

Where do you live? This has never ever happened to me.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I always stop those who want to pray for me (and there have been many over the years) because I don't think they have any closer relationship to the Almighty than I. Also, I would challenge the bus driver to pray for a more lucrative job and get back to me with the results.

lol. Yeah. I think he needs a better job. With him, it is a tiny bit harder to say no but he gets offended. He doesn't understand how someone cant believe in god. The woman prayed with me for a good three or so minutes. Well meaning, though I give her a kind of a pass. The bus driver should have let it go. Dont know why some people dont do that. Im sure its not in the christian doctrine. At least not that Im aware.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Where do you live? This has never ever happened to me.

I live in VA. It's considered south (Christian state) even though we are further north of the "Southerners." (Bible belts). I live around Christians in my living community, environment, and state in general. Everything closes on holidays. In the city, at least the grocery store and fast food stays open. The only thing open here is 7'11 (small gas-station like store. cant think of a good description)

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I would honestly just say "no thank you." I don't think that would be impolite, what's impolite is them asking. It's impolite because they, as strangers, are coming up to you and essentially either asking if you share their faith, are willing to give their faith a try, or at very least putting you in an awkward situation. I know they often mean well but when someone isn't doing well the nicest thing you could do is ask if they're ok and if there's anything they need, not bring up the potential to make them feel uncomfortable. I view turning down a prayer as the same as turning down a door-to-door or street table evangelist, just a polite "no thank you" is fine, you're not obligated to take their religious advise.

Sometimes I'd say "I appreciate it." It depends on the situation. If it wasn't a medical thing, I'd probably have more leniency to say that. Given she was concerned for my health, I couldn't. The bus driver, though, didn't really take into account my faith just his.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Carlita, personally, I would never ask anybody who wanted to pray for me not to. I wouldn't necessarily believe their prayers were going to do any good (although I wouldn't discount the possibility either). The way I look at it, it's a thoughtful gesture on their part, and I can't see it doing any harm.

True. I've had rare cases where I said no. It was more "I appreciate it" because the nature of the prayer wasn't polite and general but more conversion oriented. It depends. I'm glad you don't do that. It's a good gesture and charity to do; but, if you live in a diverse environment, then its a judgement call.

 

[Pastek]

Honestly i'd say "no thank you". But i may accept from some similar religions/beliefs.

 

[LuisDantas]

I want to believe I would say something along the general lines of "Thanks, but I do not want to mislead you" as soon as possible. Something that says clearly yet politely that I am aware of the proselitism and do not want anything to do with it.

Many people seem to think (sincerely, I hope) that there is a huge amount of sorrow to be had because people won't always believe in and accept the "correct" god or church.

That is, of course, an abusive belief with a veneer of honorable concern. There is no obvious solution to that impasse that does not involve telling the involved people to stop that behavior.

If you have the chance, present the idea that religion is a private matter. I often go to the next step and point out that it is all-out illogical that a god that is supposedly supremely wise would be so... bureaucratic might be a good word to describe it.

Odds are that those specific people will have a hard time understanding the idea. They did, after all, see fit to assume you receptive to their own perspectives. But it is possible that they were never properly encouraged to think about it, and giving then the common courtesy of room for considering the matter at their own convenience feels proper.

 

[BSM1]

I live in VA. It's considered south (Christian state) even though we are further north of the "Southerners." (Bible belts). I live around Christians in my living community, environment, and state in general. Everything closes on holidays. In the city, at least the grocery store and fast food stays open. The only thing open here is 7'11 (small gas-station like store. cant think of a good description)

As do I. Small world.

 

[Katzpur]

True. I've had rare cases where I said no. It was more "I appreciate it" because the nature of the prayer wasn't polite and general but more conversion oriented. It depends. I'm glad you don't do that. It's a good gesture and charity to do; but, if you live in a diverse environment, then its a judgement call.

If the prayer was "for the salvation of my mortal soul" or something like that, that would be another matter! I would see that as unbelievably condescending and it would probably set me off. But a prayer for my health, etc. would always be appreciated.

 

[Jainarayan]

Anyway, what would you do if you were in the exact situations I was in?

I'd probably say something like "Thank you, that's very nice. Do as you like but I don't believe as you do and won't pray with you".

Btw, you said "no one knows the cause they just know it's not physical". Who is "they"? Have they ruled out ocular migraines? There is no pain like a typical migraine, but your vision is affected. When I get them (fortunately I am on a med. that keeps them at bay) they come at either of two specific times of day. No idea what triggers them.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

If the prayer was "for the salvation of my mortal soul" or something like that, that would be another matter! I would see that as unbelievably condescending and would probably set me off. But a prayer for my health, etc. would always be appreciated.

Yep. The bus driver was the former, the lady the latter. I was surprised it happened within a week. In my immediate environment every now and then the Catholic who brought me to the Church is very evangalistic (dont see that much among lay people). She shoved the Church bulliton saying I should go to confession.

I know I shouldnt say its a christian thing, and, to tell you honestly, I think it is. Maybe you are the ones out of the loop?