How Would You Deal With A Teenager?

[Lightkeeper]

How would you deal with a teenager who is smoking pot and failing in school?

 

[Sunstone]

Tough problem! Can you give more information about the teenager? How long have they been smoking pot? How heavily are they into it? How long have they been failing school? Have they been in any other trouble? What's your sense of them: are they a decent kid or a bad apple? Are they in a gang?

One thing I would be sure to check out: Is there an underlying psychiatric illness involved in this? I'd have the kid go for a professional check up to make sure he/she is not suffering from depression or some other disorder. A lot of times when substance abuse is involved, the substance is being abused in order to relieve the symptoms of a psychiatric disorder. So, yes, I would defininately look at that angle.

 

[SoulTYPE]

I would see what kind of influence the teen gets from their "resources". I would meet the friends, and see what maerial they read.

 

[Mr Spinkles]

Discipline! Take the pot away, ground the kid unless the grades improve. He/she may hate you in the short term, but in the long term he/she will be grateful for it.

 

[Druidus]

I am a teenager, so take this advice as you will. First of all, the marijuana thing isn't too much to worry about. I know that the anti-drug messages may have convinced you that smoking pot is evil and wrong, but realize that it is used as leverage for political leaders. Too outline this, read this article:

<H1>MARIJUANA MYTHS

by Paul Hager

Chair, ICLU Drug Task Force

1. Marijuana causes brain damage

The most celebrated study that claims to show brain damage is the rhesus monkey study of Dr. Robert Heath, done in the late 1970s. This study was reviewed by a distinguished panel of scientists sponsored by the Institute of Medicine and the National Academy of Sciences. Their results were published under the title, Marijuana and Health in 1982. Heath's work was sharply criticized for its insufficient sample size (only four monkeys), its failure to control experimental bias, and the misidentification of normal monkey brain structure as "damaged". Actual studies of human populations of marijuana users have shown no evidence of brain damage. For example, two studies from 1977, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) showed no evidence of brain damage in heavy users of marijuana. That same year, the American Medical Association (AMA) officially came out in favor of decriminalizing marijuana. That's not the sort of thing you'd expect if the AMA thought marijuana damaged the brain.

2. Marijuana damages the reproductive system

This claim is based chiefly on the work of Dr. Gabriel Nahas, who experimented with tissue (cells) isolated in petri dishes, and the work of researchers who dosed animals with near-lethal amounts of cannabinoids (i.e., the intoxicating part of marijuana). Nahas' generalizations from his petri dishes to human beings have been rejected by the scientific community as being invalid. In the case of the animal experiments, the animals that survived their ordeal returned to normal within 30 days of the end of the experiment. Studies of actual human populations have failed to demonstrate that marijuana adversely affects the reproductive system.

3. Marijuana is a "gateway" drug-it leads to hard drugs

This is one of the more persistent myths. A real world example of what happens when marijuana is readily available can be found in Holland. The Dutch partially legalized marijuana in the 1970s. Since then, hard drug use-heroin and cocaine-have DECLINED substantially. If marijuana really were a gateway drug, one would have expected use of hard drugs to have gone up, not down. This apparent "negative gateway" effect has also been observed in the United States. Studies done in the early 1970s showed a negative correlation between use of marijuana and use of alcohol. A 1993 Rand Corporation study that compared drug use in states that had decriminalized marijuana versus those that had not, found that where marijuana was more available-the states that had decriminalized-hard drug abuse as measured by emergency room episodes decreased. In short, what science and actual experience tell us is that marijuana tends to substitute for the much more dangerous hard drugs like alcohol, cocaine, and heroin.

4. Marijuana suppresses the immune system

Like the studies claiming to show damage to the reproductive system, this myth is based on studies where animals were given extremely high-in many cases, near-lethal-doses of cannabinoids. These results have never been duplicated in human beings. Interestingly, two studies done in 1978 and one done in 1988 showed that hashish and marijuana may have actually stimulated the immune system in the people studied.

5. Marijuana is much more dangerous than tobacco

Smoked marijuana contains about the same amount of carcinogens as does an equivalent amount of tobacco. It should be remembered, however, that a heavy tobacco smoker consumes much more tobacco than a heavy marijuana smoker consumes marijuana. This is because smoked tobacco, with a 90% addiction rate, is the most addictive of all drugs while marijuana is less addictive than caffeine. Two other factors are important. The first is that paraphernalia laws directed against marijuana users make it difficult to smoke safely. These laws make water pipes and bongs, which filter some of the carcinogens out of the smoke, illegal and, hence, unavailable. The second is that, if marijuana were legal, it would be more economical to have cannabis drinks like bhang (a traditional drink in the Middle East) or tea which are totally non-carcinogenic. This is in stark contrast with "smokeless" tobacco products like snuff which can cause cancer of the mouth and throat. When all of these facts are taken together, it can be clearly seen that the reverse is true: marijuana is much SAFER than tobacco.

6. Legal marijuana would cause carnage on the highways

Although marijuana, when used to intoxication, does impair performance in a manner similar to alcohol, actual studies of the effect of marijuana on the automobile accident rate suggest that it poses LESS of a hazard than alcohol. When a random sample of fatal accident victims was studied, it was initially found that marijuana was associated with RELATIVELY as many accidents as alcohol. In other words, the number of accident victims intoxicated on marijuana relative to the number of marijuana users in society gave a ratio similar to that for accident victims intoxicated on alcohol relative to the total number of alcohol users. However, a closer examination of the victims revealed that around 85% of the people intoxicated on marijuana WERE ALSO INTOXICATED ON ALCOHOL. For people only intoxicated on marijuana, the rate was much lower than for alcohol alone. This finding has been supported by other research using completely different methods. For example, an economic analysis of the effects of decriminalization on marijuana usage found that states that had reduced penalties for marijuana possession experienced a rise in marijuana use and a decline in alcohol use with the result that fatal highway accidents decreased. This would suggest that, far from causing "carnage", legal marijuana might actually save lives.

7. Marijuana "flattens" human brainwaves

This is an out-and-out lie perpetrated by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. A few years ago, they ran a TV ad that purported to show, first, a normal human brainwave, and second, a flat brainwave from a 14-year-old "on marijuana". When researchers called up the TV networks to complain about this commercial, the Partnership had to pull it from the air. It seems that the Partnership faked the flat "marijuana brainwave". In reality, marijuana has the effect of slightly INCREASING alpha wave activity. Alpha waves are associated with meditative and relaxed states which are, in turn, often associated with human creativity.

8. Marijuana is more potent today than in the past

This myth is the result of bad data. The researchers who made the claim of increased potency used as their baseline the THC content of marijuana seized by police in the early 1970s. Poor storage of this marijuana in un-air conditioned evidence rooms caused it to deteriorate and decline in potency before any chemical assay was performed. Contemporaneous, independent assays of unseized "street" marijuana from the early 1970s showed a potency equivalent to that of modern "street" marijuana. Actually, the most potent form of this drug that was generally available was sold legally in the 1920s and 1930s by the pharmaceutical company Smith-Klein under the name, "American Cannabis".

9. Marijuana impairs short-term memory

This is true but misleading. Any impairment of short-term memory disappears when one is no longer under the influence of marijuana. Often, the short-term memory effect is paired with a reference to Dr. Heath's poor rhesus monkeys to imply that the condition is permanent.

10. Marijuana lingers in the body like DDT

This is also true but misleading. Cannabinoids are fat soluble as are innumerable nutrients and, yes, some poisons like DDT. For example, the essential nutrient, Vitamin A, is fat soluble but one never hears people who favor marijuana prohibition making this comparison.

</H1>
Please don't discount that, and if you need sources, I can get them.

Now, to the real problem. Is this teenage depressed, perhaps unknowingly to both you and him. However, there are many other things it could be. He could be gifted intellectually. This can cause you to fear failure, a huge phobia. You don't want to try, for fear you will fail, which is worse then death (in your eyes). On a side note, I believe I might have that phobia, and it's hard to overcome. If gifted, he may be trying to "dumb himself down" in order to fit in with his friends. He may be angry and frustrated about not being able to learn at a pace he wants to, or what he wants to. Gifted children and teenagers fiercely resent attempts to control or manipulate them, causing them to rebel. (Believe me, I know. I rebel all the time, know it's happening, and yet, have trouble stopping it, although most of the time, I can.) Everything I've read has agreed with my theory that trying to control them is futile, and probably worsens the situation. If you want to make any progress you have to make sure that he wants to do what you do. For every success, no matter how small (well, to a limit), give him praise, but make sure it's real.

Now, about the school. It may not be possible, but I reccomend either homeschooling or unschooling.

I will explain either of those to you if you request it, while also showing you articles which show you why it is a good idea, including reasons why public school, or even private, is not as good as either. I hope this helps!

 

[Lightkeeper]

I have seen many pot smokers who do not function well. These same people functioned well before they smoked pot. I think pot is harder on a teenager's body, which is working overtime to develop.

 

[Mr Spinkles]

Everything I've read has agreed with my theory that trying to control them is futile, and probably worsens the situation.

Control, I think, is precisely what is needed. No teenager wants to be controlled obviously, just as no child wants to be controlled. But good parents do what is best, even if their kid doesn't like it, I think.

 

[Druidus]

But good parents do what is best, even if their kid doesn't like it, I think.

They do what they THINK is best. I can give you the references to the articles showing the research on how it is wrong to just order them (except on very important things) and actually hurts the situation, if you want.

I have seen many pot smokers who do not function well. These same people functioned well before they smoked pot. I think pot is harder on a teenager's body, which is working overtime to develop.

I have seen many non-pot smokers who function equally as bad. However, studies show that the ratio of non-functioning people is the same for both pot smokers and non-pot smokers. One of my friends started smoking pot at around 12-13. He is around the top of the class, and he still smokes it today. Also, there is no evidence to show that marijuana is harmful to anybody, teenagers or otherwise.

 

[Druidus]

I have smoked pot before, about 7-8 times in my life. All of these were of my own decision, no peer-pressure involved. I only started after thoroughly researching the substance. I turned out good, didn't I?

 

[Lightkeeper]

I have smoked pot before, about 7-8 times in my life. All of these were of my own decision, no peer-pressure involved. I only started after thoroughly researching the substance. I turned out good, didn't I?

This person came from a family where there is a predisposition to drug and alcohol problems. Not everyone's body or psyche can handle drugs.

 

[Runt]

Hehe, I like the way my parents deal with my delinquent little sister (she's really not THAT bad... but she misbehaves more than I did!:162: ) . When she has good behavior, she gets certain rewards/previledges. She gets to drive herself to school (she's 16). She gets to run errands in her car. She gets to have violin lessons (which my mother pays for). She gets to hang out with her friends. She gets opportunities to do chores for cash. She is allowed to stay up as late as she wants, watch tv, play on the internet, rent movies, buy books, etc. However, if she misbehaves in a more serious way (like gets bad grades) thinks start to suck. She is grounded, completely and totally: she must stay at home for 2 weeks, without being allowed to leave to run errands or anything. Her violin lessons are cancelled for those 2 weeks. She is driven to and from school by our mother (how embarrassing!). She obviously doesn't get to hang out with her friends. She must continue to do chores for cash, but now all the cash she earns for those chores are turned over to our parents, partially to pay for the gas money my mom is using to drive her to and from school, and partially to pay for the violin lessons that still have to be paid for even though she is not going. She has a set bedtime, is not allowed to watch tv, or play on the internet, or rent movies. Since she is not allowed to leave the house, she is not allowed to buy books; however, my parents say that she CAN read her textbooks. Finally, to make it suck a little more, she also owes our parents MORE money: usually $100 for every F, and $50 for every D. (C's don't cost or earn her money; A's and B's actually earn her cash.) Yes, my parents pay her for good grades, and make her pay them for bad grades!

The moral of the story... make the punishment far outweigh the crime; a great way to disuade misbehaving teens from further bad behavior! (It kept me on my best behavior and has encouraged my sister to shape up a LOT in the last few months!)

 

[Druidus]

I like the payment system for grades! Perhaps it's just that I get good grades though...

 

[Mr Spinkles]

They do what they THINK is best. I can give you the references to the articles showing the research on how it is wrong to just order them (except on very important things) and actually hurts the situation, if you want.

I agree, but I would consider doing illegal drugs and failing out of school to be very important things.

 

[Adie]

I would ask the teenager why they are doing such things. If it's because they're bored in school, as was mentioned, look into higher level classes or clubs to participate in at their school. If they're smoking and failing because of peer pressure, ask the teen if their choices really make them feel any better about themselves or their friends. Chances are, the teen will say no. Suggest at this time that they find new friends and hang out with the current ones less. If they're smoking because they're trying to get away from other problems, suggest a therapist or a weekly chat with you or another trusted adult. Make sure that the teen knows that you do not support these bad choices, and are very disappointed in them, but also in the same breath tell them how good a person they are and that smoking pot and failing in school just hinders them. Although yelling and taking things away may help to stop these habits, other bad habits will develop that will be more severe.

When I was in my sophomore year of high school, I went through a phase where I intentionally failed classes. My parents found out and took away television, internet, and any activity outside of school, and as a result I began to cut myself. I did it because I was bored in school, and instead of trying harder and researching more I just gave up. The cutting happened because I was upset that I was failing school but didn't have any inclination to do something that sill bored me and on top of that I was upsetting my parents and was ashamed of myself. Looking back, if my parents had supplied me with ways to expand my studies so that I could learn more and stay interested while still completing the work, I would have been much better off. That's just me, though.....

I hope things work out for you and your teen... If you or your teen need someone to talk to, drop a line... Best of luck!

 

[Druidus]

I agree, but I would consider doing illegal drugs and failing out of school to be very important things.

I consider the school to be important, and, if all else fails, it deserves discipline, but I think that the drug part is fine (As long as he doesn't completely overdue it. As you said, he may be predisposed to drug abuse, as opposed to mere use.). It is a drug that causes no harm, to the user or to people around you. Both cigarretes and alcohol are far more dangerous then marijuana. I consider the prohibition of people using a harmless substance for their own personal enjoyment to be unjust and against the constitution. You cannot possibly overdose on marijuana, and yet, you can overdose on alcohol. Marijuana causes no physical or mental harm, and yet, alcohol does. Marijuana doesn't harm those around you, and yet, cigarettes do. Cigarettes and marijuana directly and indirectly cause tens of thousands of deaths every year. Marijuana causes at most a few dozen (all indirect). In the words of both Martin Luther King and Benjamin Franklin

"There are just laws and there are unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that an unjust law is no law at all..."

-Martin Luther King

"If a law is unjust, then you must break it."

-Benjamin Franklin

 

[Sunstone]

Druidus! Did you intentionally post in 6pt type? Have you no idea how hard it is for us old timers to read 6pt type? My nose got stuck to the computer screen and my eyes went cross-eyed trying to read your post. Help! Post in a bigger font please!

 

[Lightkeeper]

I consider the school to be important, and, if all else fails, it deserves discipline, but I think that the drug part is fine (As long as he doesn't completely overdue it. As you said, he may be predisposed to drug abuse, as opposed to mere use.). It is a drug that causes no harm, to the user or to people around you. Both cigarretes and alcohol are far more dangerous then marijuana. I consider the prohibition of people using a harmless substance for their own personal enjoyment to be unjust and against the constitution. You cannot possibly overdose on marijuana, and yet, you can overdose on alcohol. Marijuana causes no physical or mental harm, and yet, alcohol does. Marijuana doesn't harm those around you, and yet, cigarettes do. Cigarettes and marijuana directly and indirectly cause tens of thousands of deaths every year. Marijuana causes at most a few dozen (all indirect). In the words of both Martin Luther King and Benjamin Franklin

Pot is considered a "starter" drug and can lead to other drugs and the younger you start you are more likely to get hooked. Remember, no drug user thinks it's a problem or causes a problem.

 

[Druidus]

Pot is considered a "starter" drug and can lead to other drugs and the younger you start you are more likely to get hooked. Remember, no drug user thinks it's a problem or causes a problem.

Remember, sometimes, politicians press to make certain things look bad, in order to leapfrog their career. Please read the below:

3. Marijuana is a "gateway" drug-it leads to hard drugs

This is one of the more persistent myths. A real world example of what happens when marijuana is readily available can be found in Holland. The Dutch partially legalized marijuana in the 1970s. Since then, hard drug use-heroin and cocaine-have DECLINED substantially. If marijuana really were a gateway drug, one would have expected use of hard drugs to have gone up, not down. This apparent "negative gateway" effect has also been observed in the United States. Studies done in the early 1970s showed a negative correlation between use of marijuana and use of alcohol. A 1993 Rand Corporation study that compared drug use in states that had decriminalized marijuana versus those that had not, found that where marijuana was more available-the states that had decriminalized-hard drug abuse as measured by emergency room episodes decreased. In short, what science and actual experience tell us is that marijuana tends to substitute for the much more dangerous hard drugs like alcohol, cocaine, and heroin.

P.S. I hope the font is big enough now.

 

[Lightkeeper]

Remember, sometimes, politicians press to make certain things look bad, in order to leapfrog their career. Please read the below:

I have seen this happen first hand. Remember you can always find support for something you want to do.

 

[Druidus]

Perhaps for a few people that may be true, but how do you know there is a direct correlation between marijuana use and "hard-drug" use? Numbers don't lie. It is a fact that the more people smoke marijuana, the less people use harder drugs (which are very harmful, and therefore, in my opinion, should be criminalized). We have to look at the source for why people want to do these hard drugs. If I see a person push another person into the wall and the wall breaks, do I blame to pushee, or the pusher?