How young is too young to know what you believe?

[lovesong]

For all intents and purposes, I'm ignoring the law in this thread. Parents have control over what religious instruction and practice a child can engage with, but for the purposes of this thread I'm removing the hold that parents have over their children's religious lives.

How young is too young to know what you believe? I've heard people tell 14-15 year old Atheists that they are too young to understand whether they believe in god or not. I would disagree with this and say that although their beliefs may change throughout their lives, someone that age is perfectly capable of choosing their own religion and understanding it. But to what age do we accept this? I'll provide a personal example to get things going:

When I was a wee lovesong, about 5 or 6 years old, I felt a strong pull inside me to give up Christianity in favor of polytheism. I developed a pantheon loosely based off of the Egyptian gods I recently fell in love with and in my young mind I truly believed in these new gods. I developed some pretty elaborate rituals for a kid that young, one involved going outside on a specific night and dripping white and red candle wax onto a brown leaf and throwing it into the wind as I sang/chanted to the father god in my pantheon. Obviously my parents ended this whole ordeal after a while (I actually got a full year out of it, surprisingly), and little impressionable me went back to being a good Christian for a few more years, eventually leaving it again at age 11.

So, was I too young to actually believe in my new gods? Is any child that young capable of truly believing in and understanding their faith? Does your opinion differ for kids who follow what they're taught and ones who choose their own beliefs like I did? If this is too young, what is the age when a child can reasonably choose their own faith?

Bonus question! Why did I, or why would any young child, abandon the faith of their parents for something else? I've always wondered this, even I don't know why I left Christianity so early. Preschool seems a little young to be carving out your own way of life, any trained psychologists have any idea about this?

 

[Willamena]

For me, it was 46 years young. I can't speak for others.

 

[Shak34]

I guess you could say I put one foot out of the door at 17. It took another 20 years for me to fully walk away and shut the door behind me. But I still have lots of years ahead of me to grow and change, so I will probably believe quite a few different things by then.

 

[Deathbydefault]

It really depends on the person.
I figured out what I believed before I could find words that described the beliefs themselves.
By age 10 I was a hard atheist, anti-theist apisteivist, with no idea that those terms existed.

I suppose the average age for kids to figure out the basics of what they believe would be around 14.
But, just as some of us figure it out early, there are those that figure it out late, those whom might never really figure it out.

 

[sun rise]

I think if someone believes something, then they believe it no matter what their age. But in developmental terms, it's something in adolescence when the capacity for abstract reasoning develops. As I understand it, even after that the prefrontal cortex continues to mature until the mid-20's.

But that process does not necessarily mean that someone will or will not change their beliefs. People change their mind about what they believe at any age but sometime in early maturity I think most people have decided what they believe.

 

[Draka]

I don't recall ever really believing in the bible stories that were read to me when I was little. I had to be around 11 or 12 when I first remember having experiences with the paranormal. If I did before then I just don't remember, as my mind couldn't probably decipher what I was seeing anyway. My kids don't say much on the subject really. Though, my son drew a picture after my cat died of winged woman carrying him away from the rest of us. When I asked who she was he said it was "Mother Nature" taking him back home to her. The subject has come up with my daughter a couple times merely from discussing the Girl Scout Promise. I don't tend to lead my kids when it comes to beliefs, but if they ask directly what I believe I answer in as simple terms as I can, otherwise I try to give brief definitions of a few various things "some" people believe and say that they will come to their own conclusions. My daughter has said that she does believe in a god, that it is a mother, and she just calls her "god". She is 7 and my son is 9. Whatever they end up believing is okay with me in general, as long as it doesn't bring them to insult those in our home or elsewhere and what they believe as well.

 

[bobhikes]

How young is too young to know what you believe? I've heard people tell 14-15 year old Atheists that they are too young to understand whether they believe in god or not. I would disagree with this and say that although their beliefs may change throughout their lives, someone that age is perfectly capable of choosing their own religion and understanding it. But to what age do we accept this? I'll provide a personal example to get things going:

So, was I too young to actually believe in my new gods? Is any child that young capable of truly believing in and understanding their faith? Does your opinion differ for kids who follow what they're taught and ones who choose their own beliefs like I did? If this is too young, what is the age when a child can reasonably choose their own faith?

Bonus question! Why did I, or why would any young child, abandon the faith of their parents for something else? I've always wondered this, even I don't know why I left Christianity so early. Preschool seems a little young to be carving out your own way of life, any trained psychologists have any idea about this?

My kids are genuinely bored with religion. They would gladly stop going to church and religious education. The issue for me is not that they have their own beliefs but that they need to have knowledge of religion so that they can deal with others in the future and understand them. You may not want to be a chemist, biologist, english teacher but school is still going to require you to take the courses. You need to be a well rounded person and education gives you that. Now if my kids where willing or wanted to learn another religion I wouldn't have a problem, but they just want to stop. I will say learn and study from teachers of the religion they like.

I am not a psychologist but for kids spending an hour in church that doesn't cater to them is like an eternity. They spend 7 hours a day in school and then have to go to religious school after school hours feels criminal to them. They quickly develop an attitude with religion and find it an obstacle to their happiness.

 

[First Baseman]

For all intents and purposes, I'm ignoring the law in this thread. Parents have control over what religious instruction and practice a child can engage with, but for the purposes of this thread I'm removing the hold that parents have over their children's religious lives.

How young is too young to know what you believe? I've heard people tell 14-15 year old Atheists that they are too young to understand whether they believe in god or not. I would disagree with this and say that although their beliefs may change throughout their lives, someone that age is perfectly capable of choosing their own religion and understanding it. But to what age do we accept this? I'll provide a personal example to get things going:

When I was a wee lovesong, about 5 or 6 years old, I felt a strong pull inside me to give up Christianity in favor of polytheism. I developed a pantheon loosely based off of the Egyptian gods I recently fell in love with and in my young mind I truly believed in these new gods. I developed some pretty elaborate rituals for a kid that young, one involved going outside on a specific night and dripping white and red candle wax onto a brown leaf and throwing it into the wind as I sang/chanted to the father god in my pantheon. Obviously my parents ended this whole ordeal after a while (I actually got a full year out of it, surprisingly), and little impressionable me went back to being a good Christian for a few more years, eventually leaving it again at age 11.

So, was I too young to actually believe in my new gods? Is any child that young capable of truly believing in and understanding their faith? Does your opinion differ for kids who follow what they're taught and ones who choose their own beliefs like I did? If this is too young, what is the age when a child can reasonably choose their own faith?

Bonus question! Why did I, or why would any young child, abandon the faith of their parents for something else? I've always wondered this, even I don't know why I left Christianity so early. Preschool seems a little young to be carving out your own way of life, any trained psychologists have any idea about this?

Matthew 13 explains your failing away pretty well, I think. Forgive me for not posting I the entire chapter.

 

[Twilight Hue]

I was only intrested in my toys and eating.

Then girls and bikes and cars and hanging with friends.


Now jobs and bills.

I think knowing comes after 50.

 

[Ingledsva]

For all intents and purposes, I'm ignoring the law in this thread. Parents have control over what religious instruction and practice a child can engage with, but for the purposes of this thread I'm removing the hold that parents have over their children's religious lives.

How young is too young to know what you believe? I've heard people tell 14-15 year old Atheists that they are too young to understand whether they believe in god or not. I would disagree with this and say that although their beliefs may change throughout their lives, someone that age is perfectly capable of choosing their own religion and understanding it. But to what age do we accept this? I'll provide a personal example to get things going:

When I was a wee lovesong, about 5 or 6 years old, I felt a strong pull inside me to give up Christianity in favor of polytheism. I developed a pantheon loosely based off of the Egyptian gods I recently fell in love with and in my young mind I truly believed in these new gods. I developed some pretty elaborate rituals for a kid that young, one involved going outside on a specific night and dripping white and red candle wax onto a brown leaf and throwing it into the wind as I sang/chanted to the father god in my pantheon. Obviously my parents ended this whole ordeal after a while (I actually got a full year out of it, surprisingly), and little impressionable me went back to being a good Christian for a few more years, eventually leaving it again at age 11.

So, was I too young to actually believe in my new gods? Is any child that young capable of truly believing in and understanding their faith? Does your opinion differ for kids who follow what they're taught and ones who choose their own beliefs like I did? If this is too young, what is the age when a child can reasonably choose their own faith?

Bonus question! Why did I, or why would any young child, abandon the faith of their parents for something else? I've always wondered this, even I don't know why I left Christianity so early. Preschool seems a little young to be carving out your own way of life, any trained psychologists have any idea about this?

My parent too were Christian. But I knew extremely early that this wasn't for me.

One of my earliest memories, around three, is of reading a magazine and finding an add that had a huge thick book, a tome dusty with age, covered in cobwebs, and it had a huge lock. It said Forbidden Knowledge. I wanted to read that book. LOL!

By four and five I was already reading about other philosophies.

My family still forced me to go to religious lessons. And tried to convince me that Christianity was the way to go. I took Comparative Religion, and a church history course offered by the Catholic Church. It was very interesting. However when I actually studied the Bible, I came to the conclusion that the God in it - could not be God.

I think most of us start out indoctrinated, - then when reasoning skills kick in, - we start searching and making real choices.

And some of us are just different, and know we are from the beginning. LOL!

In a conversation with my mother when she was dying, - we started talking about childhood. She looked up at me and said, "You were never really a child." And she was right.

*

 

[Ingledsva]

Matthew 13 explains your failing away pretty well, I think. Forgive me for not posting I the entire chapter.

Just another attempt by a religion of Abraham to put-down, insult, and use psychological warfare against, people that believe differently.

Mat 13:38 The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one;

Mat 13:40 As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.

*

 

[LuisDantas]

Some subtleties such as whether one is a Trinitarian may well never be fully understood. But the basics are probably around 12 or so.

Bonus question! Why did I, or why would any young child, abandon the faith of their parents for something else? I've always wondered this, even I don't know why I left Christianity so early. Preschool seems a little young to be carving out your own way of life, any trained psychologists have any idea about this?

I'm not such, but I will guess that a frequent reason is realizing that the role of religious claims in one's parents' life is not appealling to oneself. Quite a few Christians are simply not very commited to the very beliefs they nominally profess. It may become apparent that the actual purpose of adherence is to avoid attrition with others.

 

[First Baseman]

Just another attempt by a religion of Abraham to put-down, insult, and use psychological warfare against, people that believe differently.

Mat 13:38 The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one;

Mat 13:40 As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.

*

Matthew 13 applies to everyone. You either accept it or you don't.

 

[LuisDantas]

More evidence for @Ingledsva 's point.

 

[Ingledsva]

Matthew 13 applies to everyone. You either accept it or you don't.

It is a religion putting down others whom don't believe it, and trying to use psychological warfare, to make them afraid to not believe and join.

This believe my religion, - or be tortured forever crap, - lets me know the Bible is NOT from God.

*

 

[First Baseman]

It is a religion putting down others whom don't believe it, and trying to use psychological warfare, to make them afraid to not believe and join.

This believe my religion, - or be tortured forever crap, - lets me know the Bible is NOT from God.

*

Good try, but the top 2 commandments involve love - deep love. You just don't get the Biblical message like so many others. The narrow gate is indeed quite narrow, few there be that find it.

 

[Ingledsva]

Good try, but the top 2 commandments involve love - deep love. You just don't get the Biblical message like so many others. The narrow gate is indeed quite narrow, few there be that find it.

I totally get it. I was raised Christian, - and your comments change nothing I said.

"It is a religion putting down others whom don't believe it, and trying to use psychological warfare, to make them afraid to not believe and join.

This believe my religion, - or be tortured forever crap, - lets me know the Bible is NOT from God."

I don't believe a religion that teaches this kind of thing - can be from God.

I don't believe the God of the Bible can be God, because of all the murder and skitzo things it says he did, and the laws supposedly from him, allowing slavery, rape, murder of babies, and the innocent for the crimes of others, the murder of people that are different, or from other tribes, etc.

You don't seem to understand that one can be Spiritual, and hold great love, without being from your religion, or any religion for that matter.

*

 

[allison21]

I don't believe the God of the Bible can be God, because of all the murder and skitzo things it says he did, and the laws supposedly from him, allowing slavery, rape, murder of babies, and the innocent for the crimes of others, the murder of people that are different, or from other tribes, etc.
*

I appreciate what you say here about the Abrahamic God, because all of these awful things do happen in the Bible, and it seems like many of the Christians I've met (I can't speak for Jews and Muslims) try to shove it under the rug (myself included, though I'm trying to think about it more often).
I find it really difficult to reconcile the loving God that is preached about in feel-good sermons with the God who destroyed nations, the God who restarted the world through mass genocide and disaster. I want to believe that only the loving version exists, but I know that I would only be lying to myself and would possess an ignorant version of my faith.
Being a Mennonite, one of the main traits of my denomination is a heavy focus on the life and works of Jesus. I take great value in that Jesus was God on Earth, and base my faith around the belief that He came as an example for how we (followers) should live our lives. Thus, I interpret all scripture through the lense of his life, which did not include any of the devastating "Old Testament God" actions. Obviously, I can't use that as an excuse to ignore what OT God did, but I hope it provides context and some sort of explanation for how I consider myself to be a part of a predominantly loving faith.
Again, I still haven't sorted out for myself how I'm going to process the destructive God versus the loving God, but I'm glad that I read what you wrote as it reminds me that I do still have issues with my faith - thanks.

You don't seem to understand that one can be Spiritual, and hold great love, without being from your religion, or any religion for that matter.
*

Completely agree - some of the most loving people I know are not of my faith, and some of the most hateful people I know claim to believe the same things as I do.

 

[Terese]

It really depends on the person.
I figured out what I believed before I could find words that described the beliefs themselves.
By age 10 I was a hard atheist, anti-theist apisteivist, with no idea that those terms existed.

I suppose the average age for kids to figure out the basics of what they believe would be around 14.
But, just as some of us figure it out early, there are those that figure it out late, those whom might never really figure it out.

I was like that also.

 

[David1967]

For all intents and purposes, I'm ignoring the law in this thread. Parents have control over what religious instruction and practice a child can engage with, but for the purposes of this thread I'm removing the hold that parents have over their children's religious lives.

How young is too young to know what you believe? I've heard people tell 14-15 year old Atheists that they are too young to understand whether they believe in god or not. I would disagree with this and say that although their beliefs may change throughout their lives, someone that age is perfectly capable of choosing their own religion and understanding it. But to what age do we accept this? I'll provide a personal example to get things going:

When I was a wee lovesong, about 5 or 6 years old, I felt a strong pull inside me to give up Christianity in favor of polytheism. I developed a pantheon loosely based off of the Egyptian gods I recently fell in love with and in my young mind I truly believed in these new gods. I developed some pretty elaborate rituals for a kid that young, one involved going outside on a specific night and dripping white and red candle wax onto a brown leaf and throwing it into the wind as I sang/chanted to the father god in my pantheon. Obviously my parents ended this whole ordeal after a while (I actually got a full year out of it, surprisingly), and little impressionable me went back to being a good Christian for a few more years, eventually leaving it again at age 11.

So, was I too young to actually believe in my new gods? Is any child that young capable of truly believing in and understanding their faith? Does your opinion differ for kids who follow what they're taught and ones who choose their own beliefs like I did? If this is too young, what is the age when a child can reasonably choose their own faith?

Bonus question! Why did I, or why would any young child, abandon the faith of their parents for something else? I've always wondered this, even I don't know why I left Christianity so early. Preschool seems a little young to be carving out your own way of life, any trained psychologists have any idea about this?

I'm 49 and still learning and hopefully growing every day. The older I get the more that I realize that I still have much to learn. Beware those who believe they have it all figured out.