Something I've observed about myself since I was very young, but it seems I've always had an affinity for the spiritual. I remember a lot of my childhood I was captivated by the supernatural, death and ghosts. I seemed to have some intuitive belief and in my teens this manifested as flights of thoughts in a hyper focused state where I found myself exploring my core beliefs about God.
I wasn't raised religious but I was exposed to a lot of religion in my teenage years, particularly later, although I always found the forms of it around me to be a malicious force. This did nothing to dissuade my own spiritual experience however which was with me since my earliest memories. When I found the term "pantheism" I found it fit better than any other term I had come across before and I feel it's the least wrong term even now.
In a lot of ways I think if the person I was 10 years ago saw me now she would be horrified by not just my beliefs but my views on things and style, but deep down would know that this is her dark destiny. I don't think my religion ever exactly changed, well, more so I found my path when I was in my very late teens and that has slowly evolved. I think really the only thing that's changed in my beliefs since then is a shift in attitudes and I am less theistic, and have a skepticism towards phenomena claims that I didn't then. Everything else has built off of the rest, not replaced it. I've found overtime the system is almost fractal in a way, but more so akin to trying to visualize a tesseract when all you got is a 2D drawing (this is more literal when it comes to some of my Yantra work).
But whenever ideas of god, religion ect come up I always find that people draw lines more along language. This is no less true when I talk about how I consider myself deeply religious. Some don't, because I also consider myself a nontheist and when I explain my beliefs I am sometimes accused of being an atheist (when I'm not accused of being a theist trying to be an atheist).
Anyways my point is, religion has contextualized(perhaps even shaped) my life in such an intimate way. That journey in the last 10 years? Almost all the major events of any importance in my mind all tie to religion. Religion is in my blood and as much as I love music I find it reflects my spiritual and religious state. I live for my religion and I can't live without it. It's become such a deep part of me that imagining being without it is like imagining a void carved into my torso. I am my relation with the divine. I am my gods, my religion, I am the sum but also greater than the sum of my experiences, and I am my nature. I am me. I am religious.
Part of what I find brings me great understanding in my beliefs is the fact that Shiva has domain over all light and dark, pleasant and unpleasant. It's nondual nature means that I can contextualize anything within the scope of the religious experience. You see, religion to me isn't just what you believe, your ethics or how you behave. It's not just your reality it's your experience both within and beyond normal consciousness. It's a meta-self, so to speak, acting perfectly in concert with all of it's parts.. One phrase I've used before is that religion to me is "meta-art" but it's more than that... art can be fictional, but religion isn't, at least not my religion to me. It's as much real as the air I breathe and just as intuitive. Everything becomes this higher state for me, and I I more often reach these states of ananda
So I can't only not imagine my life without religion, I can't imagine living without my religion!
Anyways, just some random thoughts. I'm totally out of almost been up for 3 days with barely any sleep haha. If you know where I'm coming from and feel something similar, or you have your own view of religion and how it's shaped your life for the better, please do share! This is just my experience I hope to hear from a lot of ya'll and how it's shaped, contextualized or reflected your experience and journey.
I wasn't raised religious but I was exposed to a lot of religion in my teenage years, particularly later, although I always found the forms of it around me to be a malicious force. This did nothing to dissuade my own spiritual experience however which was with me since my earliest memories. When I found the term "pantheism" I found it fit better than any other term I had come across before and I feel it's the least wrong term even now.
In a lot of ways I think if the person I was 10 years ago saw me now she would be horrified by not just my beliefs but my views on things and style, but deep down would know that this is her dark destiny. I don't think my religion ever exactly changed, well, more so I found my path when I was in my very late teens and that has slowly evolved. I think really the only thing that's changed in my beliefs since then is a shift in attitudes and I am less theistic, and have a skepticism towards phenomena claims that I didn't then. Everything else has built off of the rest, not replaced it. I've found overtime the system is almost fractal in a way, but more so akin to trying to visualize a tesseract when all you got is a 2D drawing (this is more literal when it comes to some of my Yantra work).
But whenever ideas of god, religion ect come up I always find that people draw lines more along language. This is no less true when I talk about how I consider myself deeply religious. Some don't, because I also consider myself a nontheist and when I explain my beliefs I am sometimes accused of being an atheist (when I'm not accused of being a theist trying to be an atheist).
Anyways my point is, religion has contextualized(perhaps even shaped) my life in such an intimate way. That journey in the last 10 years? Almost all the major events of any importance in my mind all tie to religion. Religion is in my blood and as much as I love music I find it reflects my spiritual and religious state. I live for my religion and I can't live without it. It's become such a deep part of me that imagining being without it is like imagining a void carved into my torso. I am my relation with the divine. I am my gods, my religion, I am the sum but also greater than the sum of my experiences, and I am my nature. I am me. I am religious.
Part of what I find brings me great understanding in my beliefs is the fact that Shiva has domain over all light and dark, pleasant and unpleasant. It's nondual nature means that I can contextualize anything within the scope of the religious experience. You see, religion to me isn't just what you believe, your ethics or how you behave. It's not just your reality it's your experience both within and beyond normal consciousness. It's a meta-self, so to speak, acting perfectly in concert with all of it's parts.. One phrase I've used before is that religion to me is "meta-art" but it's more than that... art can be fictional, but religion isn't, at least not my religion to me. It's as much real as the air I breathe and just as intuitive. Everything becomes this higher state for me, and I I more often reach these states of ananda
So I can't only not imagine my life without religion, I can't imagine living without my religion!
Anyways, just some random thoughts. I'm totally out of almost been up for 3 days with barely any sleep haha. If you know where I'm coming from and feel something similar, or you have your own view of religion and how it's shaped your life for the better, please do share! This is just my experience I hope to hear from a lot of ya'll and how it's shaped, contextualized or reflected your experience and journey.
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