that is great you know where you want to be because we do too. and also maybe God hasnt abandoned you, but maybe he abandoned others..maybe we dont trust him. but if you want to know, God has led me only down the roads of destruction and despair..Satan has led me down peace, happiness and security. if you are trying to say i am living a destructive and sad life, i advise you to think other wise. i am perfectly fine with how my life is, yes there are things i dont like that happen but i move on
well, indeed i can't give you an advice about which religion(s) fits you but i'll advise you another advice it's about looking to god's actions.
most of us not understanding the actions of the god and getting it in a wrong meaning like abandoned us, but the fact it's sometimes being to pull us to him, to know him, to pray for him and to hear our voice calling him in the heaven
[youtube]r46wZInc_mE[/youtube]
Why Allah created Good and Evil? - YouTube
in our Quran Allah said" And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life" 20:124
so it's like he's telling us just to remind you by myself and to refuge to me
and said too "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,
Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return, Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided." 2:155-157
just think about them may you change your idea about god
good luck in your journey