If Jesus Performed Miraculous Healings Today

[Debater Slayer]

1) Jesus performs miraculous healings on people with incurable diseases.

2) The news reaches social media and becomes a global hit.

3) Millions of social media posters accuse Jesus of working with Big Pharma and covering up the miracle cures from the common people for so long. They launch a campaign to prosecute him to the full extent of the law, the Constitution, and the Bible itself.

4) He facepalms and leaves in disappointment.

The end.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

1) Jesus performs miraculous healings on people with incurable diseases.

2) The news reaches social media and becomes a global hit.

3) Millions of social media posters accuse Jesus of working with Big Pharma and covering up the miracle cures from the common people for so long. They launch a campaign to prosecute him to the full extent of the law, the Constitution, and the Bible itself.

4) He facepalms and leaves in disappointment.

The end.

Well that's a lot more G-rated than the Bible story. We need something with more violence if we want to inspire future generations

 

[sun rise]

1) Jesus performs miraculous healings on people with incurable diseases.

2) The news reaches social media and becomes a global hit.

3) Millions of social media posters accuse Jesus of working with Big Pharma and covering up the miracle cures from the common people for so long. They launch a campaign to prosecute him to the full extent of the law, the Constitution, and the Bible itself.

4) He facepalms and leaves in disappointment.

The end.

3) Millions of social media posters accuse Jesus of being evil because he refused to do it before, because he refused to smite those needing smiting, because he refused to heal those who should not be healed and for refusing to share the power with the posters who deserve to have that power.

4) He facepalms and smites the millions of social media posters and a new age is born with no social media.

 

[Jeremiah Ames]

Jesus ain’t coming back people.
He facepalmed a long long time ago.

If you need healing, may I suggest seeing a doctor.

 

[pearl]

1) Jesus performs miraculous healings on people with incurable diseases.

But according to John the miraculous was not the miracle itself, but in the 'sign' signified by the 'miracle'.