if your girlfriend/wife contacts her ex-boyfriends, and inverse

[Kirran]

behind your back

in this days , that's happened except with angels or old onces

Are you saying that everybody will cheat if given the chance?

how about wanting/insisting to have a contact with her EX , is not that problem , for you ?

No, it's not a problem. If they want to be in touch with someone they feel is a friend, why should that bother me? I personally have a strong friendship with someone I had a liaison with at one point. There is no intention of doing so again but still a friendship. Why should a partner of mine not be able to do the same?

If I am to enter into a marriage or equivalent relationship with someone, it's gonna be someone I actually trust and know well. If I think they're going to be wanting to go have affairs behind my back, why would I marry them?

 

[psychoslice]

That sort of crap use to bug me, but now I have given up all this crap of relationships, and just be and do what I want. I could never live my whole life with another, my life changes all the time, I don't need someone holding me back, life is too good for that.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

Depends on the person. I have friends who are exs who are like sisters to me. My wife knows they are no threats. But like I said it depends on the two people

 

[Godobeyer]

Are you saying that everybody will cheat if given the chance?

Not everybody . but given the chance is reason of regert of victime .

for some people they creat the chance , so given them chance is just generous come from you "Bonus" .


Lets suppose that someone married (or accept) a woman/man worked in dirty place , like strip club .

I will not regert that he/she will cheat on him/her .

so given the chance is also problem maker . (i am talking about serious chance)

I hope my point is cleared NOW .

No, it's not a problem. If they want to be in touch with someone they feel is a friend, why should that bother me? I personally have a strong friendship with someone I had a liaison with at one point. There is no intention of doing so again but still a friendship. Why should a partner of mine not be able to do the same?


If I am to enter into a marriage or equivalent relationship with someone, it's gonna be someone I actually trust and know well. If I think they're going to be wanting to go have affairs behind my back, why would I marry them?

If there is no trust , there is no cheat .
I mean the cheators used the "trust" and "chance" to cheat .

how much cost" trust " word, for cheators ?

If my wife insist that she stay on contact with her EX , i will at least doubt that there something wrong , agree ?

 

[Godobeyer]

Depends on the person. I have friends who are exs who are like sisters to me. My wife knows they are no threats. But like I said it depends on the two people

thank for sharing

do you agree that your wife do the same ?

in your entire life, you ever heard that someone cheated with his/her EX ?

honestly my point is ; there is more chance to cheat with your EX than strange one, agreed ?

 

[BenTheBeliever]

thank for sharing

do you agree that your wife do the same ?

in your entire life, you ever heard that someone cheated with his/her EX ?

honestly my point is ; there is more chance to cheat with your EX than strange one, agreed ?

Depends on the people. My ex's are ex for a reason. As for my wife she has no contact with her ex's for a personally reason.

 

[Godobeyer]

Depends on the people. My ex's are ex for a reason. As for my wife she has no contact with her ex's for a personally reason.

as suppose
If the reason is friendship , and back in memories , do you agree that your wife contact her EX?

you missed to answer my questions below

in your entire life, you ever heard that someone cheated with his/her EX ?

honestly my point is ; there is more chance to cheat with your EX than strange one, agreed ?

 

[BenTheBeliever]

as suppose
If the reason is friendship , and back in memories , do you agree that your wife contact her EX?

you missed to answer my questions below

If my wife wanted to be friends with her ex I would be OK with that but for personally reasons it won't happen

 

[BenTheBeliever]

As for the other questions you ask yes I have heard of that happing. But once again it depends on the people. For me I have no feeling for my ex's like that.

 

[Godobeyer]

If my wife wanted to be friends with her ex I would be OK with that but for personally reasons it won't happen

so if (they) the friendship touch the limite, at that moment you will say STOP ?

how do you know that frienship could not increase to personal reason ?

 

[Riverwolf]

honestly my point is ; there is more chance to cheat with your EX than strange one, agreed ?

That depends entirely on the person.

Personally, I'm not interested in constraining who my partner can or can't get in contact with.

Have you ever considered the possibility that telling your partner that they can't stay in contact with any ex's creates an air of resentment and oppression, and may actually encourage cheating? To make sex evil is to make evil sexy.

 

[Godobeyer]

That depends entirely on the person.

Personally, I'm not interested in constraining who my partner can or can't get in contact with.

Have you ever considered the possibility that telling your partner that they can't stay in contact with any ex's creates an air of resentment and oppression, and may actually encourage cheating? To make sex evil is to make evil sexy.

Of course it's good reason to be at least jealous .

If someone pass , a friendship call, then smile , then meetings , then huge and kiss, then may he will find him-self being cheated soon or later .

someone could break the limited , and other regert for his/her previsious decision called "trust" .

Evil sexy is what happened when someone give the chance to someone to cheat on (fool) him/her .

 

[Riverwolf]

Of course it's good reason to be at least jealous .

If someone pass , a friendship call, then smile , then meetings , then huge and kiss, then may he will find him-self being cheated soon or later .

someone could break the limited , and other regert for his/her previsious decision called "trust" .

Evil sexy is what happened when someone give the chance to someone to cheat on (fool) him/her .

I think the language barrier made what I was trying to say hard to understand.

If you kept in contact with any of your ex's, would you have the same risk of cheating on your partner?

 

[Godobeyer]

I think the language barrier made what I was trying to say hard to understand.

If you kept in contact with any of your ex's, would you have the same risk of cheating on your partner?

for me adultery is forbiden and personal contact is forbiden too .

so i will not contact my EX , and i will not allow my wife to contact her EX husband .

 

[Riverwolf]

for me adultery is forbiden and personal contact is forbiden too .

so i will not contact my EX , and i will not allow my wife to contact her EX husband .

Isn't that her choice to make, not yours?

Many of my friends have ex-partners with whom they stay in contact all the time, without any trouble. Two of them are very good friends of mine, in fact.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

so if (they) the friendship touch the limite, at that moment you will say STOP ?

how do you know that frienship could not increase to personal reason ?

For one her ex live another state. Two I know my wife and she knows me

 

[Godobeyer]

Isn't that her choice to make, not yours?

Many of my friends have ex-partners with whom they stay in contact all the time, without any trouble. Two of them are very good friends of mine, in fact.

maybe you don't know :

there are contract of marriage for Muslims , contact to strange man to woman (or inverse) for no serious reason is forbiden , so inverse if correct too .

so it's depend the situation and conversations, for frienship in personal meeting or may calling by phone or skype between man and strange woman , it's for sure forbiden .

ex-husband or ex-wife is strange person in Islam .

If she break the contract , or me i break it ,the breaker of contract mpay will pay the consequences .


if a wife/husband agree to loose his/her partner ,because Her/His can't resist the jealous (of her partner) because of EX "contact"

so her/his EX memories is more important than her/his actual life !

 

[Godobeyer]

For one her ex live another state. Two I know my wife and she knows me

sorry for many curious question (may endless) , that's me

IF he was your neighbor , the situatio is will be different ? i mean, would upset if you discover that she contact him (smile,hug,drink) ?

 

[SomeRandom]

I like to chat with you and Kirran and SomeRandom
Why it's be shame that you order or demand your partner if it's will be in his/her benefits ?

why it's abnormal to someone (husband or wife) be boss in something,in marriage status ?

let's suppose that a wife working in company (or inverse), she always take orders and demands from her boss , so why it's illegale to take orders from her husband (partner) (or inverse) ?

lets suppose that you find her talking with a her EX? when you ask her ,"whats going on?" , she told you " that not your God damn business" , what would be your reaction ?

Because a marriage is a partnership. It's not a dictatorship, there's no bosses. It's two people who choose to share their lives together. A boss pays his employees and they are free to walk out on him/her if said boss treats them unfairly. A husband does not employ his wife. He doesn't pay her. He doesn't own her. He's her partner. They make decisions together. A man making demands of his wife (or vice versa) about what they can wear, who they can see and where they can go is a commonly recognised sign of abusive relationships, because usually that's how domestic abuse starts (hitting, insulting and/or emotional abuse.) By first isolating the abused party from friends, controlling what they wear and where they can go. This typically leads to other abusive behaviour. As such men or women making any sort of demands of their spouse is treated at best as suspicious and at worst as a red flag (term to mean something that alerts people that something is terribly wrong.)

And if I was in that scenario I would discuss the matter with my spouse/boyfriend later.
Contrary to popular belief I am a rational adult capable of dealing with issues maturely.

 

[Riverwolf]

maybe you don't know :

there are contract of marriage for Muslims , contact to strange man to woman (or inverse) for no serious reason is forbiden , so inverse if correct too .

so it's depend the situation and conversations, for frienship in personal meeting or may calling by phone or skype between man and strange woman , it's for sure forbiden .

ex-husband or ex-wife is strange person in Islam .

If she break the contract , or me i break it ,the breaker of contract mpay will pay the consequences .


if a wife/husband agree to loose his/her partner ,because Her/His can't resist the jealous (of her partner) because of EX "contact"

so her/his EX memories is more important than her/his actual life !

I'm afraid it's a bit hard to understand exactly what you're saying, because of the language barrier. I'll try my best to respond as best I can to what I think you're saying, forgive me if I'm just misunderstanding.

I understand that Islamic customs are different from the various customs of the West, and I can respect that to a point. If custom forbids interacting with ex's, fine. Your culture, your taboos. Our cultures long had a taboo against girls wearing pants.

What I question is this: if you can control yourself to not contact any of your ex's, what's so hard about trusting your wife to do likewise? She's as human as you. And if you can't trust her, why should she be expected to trust you?