I'm feeling... not very brilliant.

[Feathers in Hair]

Here I am, talking to my dad on the phone (still not having it turned off quite yet, thankfully) and we're having a fairly pleasant conversation. He asks me what I'm doing lately, and I say that I'm planning on joining a local drum circle. He doesn't quite understand, not appearing to know the difference between the sound of native drums versus other drums. He goes on to ask why I am 'wanting to hang out with strange people.' I keep trying to explain, forgetting that these things never go well.

I feel like I'm six again and my dad is calmly explaining that to me that I will never have any friends. My heart feels shattered, and I don't understand how I can keep telling myself that my dad has a mental illness and things like that can still make any shards of self- esteem I might have picked up seem worthless.

Should I avoid the subject next time, or try explaining how I feel?

 

[kreeden]

Does he understand what a Drum Circle is Feathers ? That it is also a social event ?

It does appear that he is concerned for you . Try to explain that you are addressing those concerns . { in your own way , but you don't have to put it quite like that }

 

[kreeden]

BTW , I just wanted to add that none of us are all that brilliant when the heart becomes involed .

 

[½ Sane]

If your dad is anything like my dad? Give it up. He’ll never understand.

My dad doesn’t understand me much but my actions in the last three years have drawn us closer. The first time I’ve heard him tell me “I love you” happened about a year ago.

Trying to explain my life to him puts me in a situation where I end up the victim so I gave up. I can’t win. As soon as I gain a little foothold he brings up crap I did 30 years ago :biglaugh:

I just remain focused on all he did for me when I couldn’t do for myself. My dad is a good and honorable man. :jam: Just too dang rigid for my taste.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

Thanks for the advice, guys! And, no, I don't think he understands what a drum circle is. I was trying to explain and he cut me off by saying he doubted 'if there's anyone that's going to be there that's a doctor or a lawyer, or something professional.' (He places a high priority on people's ability to earn an income.)

I was thinking of sending him a CD of Native American music... Do you think that'd be a good idea?

 

[½ Sane]

I was thinking of sending him a CD of Native American music... Do you think that'd be a good idea?

If it was my dad? No :biglaugh:

 

[SoulTYPE]

feathers,

Your father loves you and is trying to do what is best or right in his opinion. The approach he is carrying out may not seem like it, but well..he has raised such a WONDERFUL daughter, we all here can see that.

He wants the best out of you, and so far I have seen what a great job he has done. You never know, one of the dudes in your drum circle may actually be a lawyer or doctor

Your father loves you dearly. It may just seem like it doesn't.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

If it was my dad? No :biglaugh:

Hehee! Nah, I get the horrible feeling that my dad is trying to connect with me but is unable to.

 

[SoulTYPE]

You ARE brilliant feathers, don't you forget it. You are voted No.1 in my fave member's list.
(tied with No*S)

 

[½ Sane]

It shouldn’t be a horrible feeling. He is curious I’m sure and he’s only looking out for you. Love him for what he is and allow him to love you back. It all comes full circle. I'm out of here. Nighty night.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

Good night, ½ Sane! I again offer you thanks, along with Kreeden and SoulType.
I was rather quite stressed about the situation, but you've made me feel much better

Thank you! *hugs to everyone*

 

[kreeden]

Thanks for the advice, guys! And, no, I don't think he understands what a drum circle is. I was trying to explain and he cut me off by saying he doubted 'if there's anyone that's going to be there that's a doctor or a lawyer, or something professional.' (He places a high priority on people's ability to earn an income.)


I was thinking of sending him a CD of Native American music... Do you think that'd be a good idea?

He is a father after all Feathers . So , if you want to work things out with him , you have to think like a father . Understand his concerns to better explain your desires .

I have little doubt that he thinks that drum circles are full of " hippies " and the like . So that is where I would start . The music means much more to you then to him . He is concerned with your future well being ... material and family , more then Spiritual .

I hate to say this , but you are young . As we grow older , we tend to forget what it is like to be young , or remember too well the parts where we could have done better . Try to understand where he is coming from , and you may be able to lessen his concerns . He only wants the best for you , as he sees it .