Immortals: AKA the ministry of funny hats.

[Sir Doom]

This movie was entertaining on the carnage level, if you are into that sort of thing. Very reminiscent of 300 with the excessive CGI and slow motion blood fountains.

The story is pretty far outside Greek mythology as far as I can tell. It isn't greatly written and the dialogue does nothing to drive the story at all which is okay, because the story isn't really going anywhere anyway.

I call it the Ministry of Funny Hats, because it seems like just about everyone in the movie has one. I am quite certain that far more time was spent creating these monstrosities than was spent on the script. Here are some lovely samples:

Spoiler: Aries

Spoiler: Mickey Rourke: Crabface

Spoiler: Oracles

Anyway, if you like ridiculous action movies with no plot and horrible acting, check this one out! There are actually some pretty great fight scenes especially when the gods finally get involved.

 

[Penumbra]

I saw it.

I kind of liked 300, although I had to knowingly kind of shut my brain off to just accept it for what it was. Art, not truth.

So I saw Immortals, but I didn't like it as much. The cinematography was interesting but the characters were less memorable. The overall plot was ok but the specific writing wasn't very good, imo. The titans were kind of lame and totally undeveloped.

My most specific complaint is that Zeus and Poseidon are depicted as too young. Despite the specific father/daughter relationship expressed in the film, Zeus looks like Athena's boyfriend rather than her father. I realize gods in this context don't age, but it kind of messes up the archetype of a supreme god to look like a 30 year old surfer dude. He's supposed to have a beard and look the part of the archetypical leader god. Same thing for Poseidon.

Anyway, I think Poseidon probably had the best hat (and the best workout routine.)

 

[Sir Doom]

***Big fat spoiler alert***
WEEEOOOH WEEEOOOH

I saw it.

I kind of liked 300, although I had to knowingly kind of shut my brain off to just accept it for what it was. Art, not truth.

Yeah, I actually read the comic by Frank Miller that 300 was based on long before the film was made and I really enjoyed the movie because of its faith to that particular telling. Like you say, art over accuracy. It floats my boat either way, usually. I liked both the movie 300 and then the History Channel special about the 300 just as much.

So I saw Immortals, but I didn't like it as much. The cinematography was interesting but the characters were less memorable. The overall plot was ok but the specific writing wasn't very good, imo.

Agreed. It struck me as little more than rehashed Clash of the Titans plot with a twist of lemon. I had no empathy for anyone in the movie. "Get back to the glorious combat." was all I kept thinking. Its odd to find a movie like this that obviously had a very high production value for special effects but just fell short in the writing department. Its like they wrote the art designer a blank check and then made due with the peanuts that were left over. Its too bad, because a bit more attention in that direction could have made this as much of a blockbuster as any film within this genre.

The titans were kind of lame and totally undeveloped.

This was pretty disappointing. Zombie titans for the big LOSE. As much as I enjoyed the scene where the gods came and trounced them (almost?), it was very inconsistent. How did they capture them in the first place? Why didn't they kill them in the first place? Why didn't they capture them as easily as they did the first time? Why where there only 5 gods to fight who knows how many titans?

My most specific complaint is that Zeus and Poseidon are depicted as too young. Despite the specific father/daughter relationship expressed in the film, Zeus looks like Athena's boyfriend rather than her father. I realize gods in this context don't age, but it kind of messes up the archetype of a supreme god to look like a 30 year old surfer dude. He's supposed to have a beard and look the part of the archetypical leader god. Same thing for Poseidon.

Agreed again. They seemed to want to depict the gods as some kind of Justice League in the sky or something. No command presence for Zeus other than dialogue and Zeus dispatching Aries like he was a fly (for some weird reason). It was a bit off-putting. I was disappointed with how few gods there actually were, as well. I mean we're talking Greek pantheon here, give me at least 10 or 20 semi-nobodies milling around Olympus. The Aries thing really irked me. Like, we're about to be in the second-greatest war in all of history and you get rid of the God of War? And he doesn't even put up a fight? Not smart Zeus. Not smart.

Anyway, I think Poseidon probably had the best hat (and the best workout routine.)

LOL! Yeah that guy obviously hits the gym more than a few times a week and put everyone else in the movie to shame. Especially Mickey Rourke who looked like he hasn't done crunches in about 20 years.