In need of help.

[Bird123]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

OK. let's look things over and start to Think instead of relying totally on feelings.

So, you have no physical objects. Since we are all Spiritual Beings in our true natures, the most important things are Spiritual. If one determines their worth by the physical objects one has, one will never be happy since there will always be something lacking.

Let's address the big one. Your love called it quits. If this is indeed your true love, your true love will not be gone long. That Chemistry will bring them home. If it's not true love, you are better off parted. You sure do not want to be tied up when your true love shows up. Things get really sticky then.

True Love doesn't show up until you are ready. Sometimes it takes several relationships before it's time. Sometimes true love will not show up until later in life. Be patient! Always be open for Love. True love tends to show up when one least expects it.

Lost Soul and Evil Person?? On the road to perfection, the road can get a bit bumpy. One might wander off the path, however there are those around you pointing the way.

No matter how lost one might get, one will end out on the right path in time. Keep your wits about you and do not allow your feelings to rule you. Reason will bring you back down to Earth.

In this multilevel classroom, one will always see others learning lessons one has already learned. To define anyone as evil is nothing more than hate. That is a lesson in itself. In time one will discover the price for hate will always be too high. You see, there will always be things you can teach others.

Be the Rock. Take a few steps back and Think. All those problems you have had in the past all seemed to work out somehow. These will too.

Remember, you are a Wonderful Work of Art! There is no one in the Universe exactly like you nor will there ever be. Your uniqueness should define your worth. Share that which is Special about you with those around you. That is how you are needed.

That's what I see. It's very clear!!

 

[MNoBody]

if people were more honest [in general] you would see this isolation is not unique and many are sharing very much the same kind of experience......we all suffer from communication dysfunction despite how well we think we pull it off
just an observation from nobody in particular...for what it is worth

 

[Fool]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

laughter is the best medicine. its ok to make a mistake and be a fool. if you do something wrong ask for forgiveness but also give yourself what you would another. don't be cornholed, or is that pigeonholed?

two taters are standing on a sidewalk. one of them is a tater of the evening. do you know how to tell which tater is the tater of the evening?

Spoiler: Hint

hint a tater of the evening is being implied as a sex worker potato.

 

[Fool]

the one that has the label on it that says Ida Ho

 

[wizanda]

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

I'm really sorry for being sharp with you, we've created a negative vibration, and normally in person it isn't my way not to resolve it.

We're all evil in some way, as we're down near Hell in a realm of desires, and delusions (Maya); therefore learning that, is then the first step to climbing out of here, not seeing the first step, often means we slip back down.

To realize our Buddha mind, we have to recognize we're in the Maya.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.

Energy comes from what we choose to reflect, which then creates a vibration within everything around us.

Religious Forums is a vast array of data containing years of social interactions, and thus being a member is a good thing for everyone to do, to help keep it here for years more.

Wisdom comes from being able to discuss, and question the ideas in depth, to then come to higher wisdoms.

The aspect of questioning data in depth, drives us to become stronger spiritually, and not wanting to seek spiritual ascent, affects energy in all things we do.

Enlightenment is to be constantly seeking, as the questioning is the pursuit of climbing higher.

In my opinion.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I'm really sorry for being sharp with you, we've created a negative vibration, and normally in person it isn't my way not to resolve it.

We're all evil in some way, as we're down near Hell in a realm of desires, and delusions (Maya); therefore learning that, is then the first step to climbing out of here, not seeing the first step, often means we slip back down.

To realize our Buddha mind, we have to recognize we're in the Maya.

Energy comes from what we choose to reflect, which then creates a vibration within everything around us.

Religious Forums is a vast array of data containing years of social interactions, and thus being a member is a good thing for everyone to do, to help keep it here for years more.

Wisdom comes from being able to discuss, and question the ideas in depth, to then come to higher wisdoms.

The aspect of questioning data in depth, drives us to become stronger spiritually, and not wanting to seek spiritual ascent, affects energy in all things we do.

Enlightenment is to be constantly seeking, as the questioning is the pursuit of climbing higher.

In my opinion.

You are forgiven Wizanda. I don't hold irritation for long.
But since you were honest toward me now, I will be honest too. And yes I agree there has been tension between you and me lately. I can admit that I even have been frustrated, irritated and at times near being angry at some of your OP/threads in RF. I know I should not become angry, you have your reason for what you write here, and I may have created my own problem in my mind, I agree on this.
And to end this honest answer to you. I do struggle a lot with accepting those claims you repeat over and over again in your posts, I will try not to let it bother me as much as it has been. And I can't stop you from telling those things.

But i do not hold any anger toward you now, that is maybe the best for both of us

 

[wizanda]

I can admit that I even have been frustrated, irritated and at times near being angry at some of your OP/threads in RF.

Part of this anger is from not knowing, and being frustrated at what doesn't make sense...

Imagine if you realized what was being put forward requires being enlightened, as the levels of wisdom required to see the Biblical tests implies it.

I do struggle a lot with accepting those claims you repeat over and over again in your posts

I know how you feel, yet the more I've studied what the Source of reality shows in the world's religions, it gets clearer in explanation to understand.

Thus please feel free to ask all questions in detail; rather than make joke threads from missed understanding, and we can have a much more enlightening dialogue.

In my opinion.

 

[Trailblazer]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

There is nothing to apologize for. There are many people on this forum who love and care about you. You have always been a great addition to this forum, I so look forward to your posts. I consider you a role model for spirituality and selflessness.

I am sad to hear what has befallen you but it is not your fault. I know how to spot good character a mile way and I know you have good character. That is the most important thing you will ever have because that is the only thing we take with us when we die and enter the spiritual world.

What it sounds like to me is that circumstances of your life have caused you to go into a depression. I know what that is like only too well. But this too will pass. What is important is that you have support and help for the depression if you need it because otherwise it could get worse. Being isolated is not a good thing so I hope you do not leave the forum, since I know this forum has been a source of support for you.

I am a licensed counselor but I have also had depression and anxiety most of my adult life, so I understand what it feels like. I have recovered for the post part and In spite of the pandemic which is terrible in the United States where I live, I am doing much better than ever, so I am in a position to help anyone who needs to talk so feel free to send me a Conversation if you want to talk. I am at the laptop whenever I am not sleeping or working.

 

[Spirit of Light]

There is nothing to apologize for. There are many people on this forum who love and care about you. You have always been a great addition to this forum, I so look forward to your posts. I consider you a role model for spirituality and selflessness.

I am sad to hear what has befallen you but it is not your fault. I know how to spot good character a mile way and I know you have good character. That is the most important thing you will ever have because that is the only thing we take with us when we die and enter the spiritual world.

What it sounds like to me is that circumstances of your life have caused you to go into a depression. I know what that is like only too well. But this too will pass. What is important is that you have support and help for the depression if you need it because otherwise it could get worse. Being isolated is not a good thing so I hope you do not leave the forum, since I know this forum has been a source of support for you.

I am a licensed counselor but I have also had depression and anxiety most of my adult life, so I understand what it feels like. I have recovered for the post part and In spite of the pandemic which is terrible in the United States where I live, I am doing much better than ever, so I am in a position to help anyone who needs to talk so feel free to send me a Conversation if you want to talk. I am at the laptop whenever I am not sleeping or working.

Thank you for your kind and warm words @Trailblazer you reading me like an open book And yes I do have support around me, they will guide me during difficult times (when they know I struggle) My depression comes into my life from childhood and I struggled all my life to handle it, especially 12 years if daily bullying at school made me unsure about my self, and even I have spoken out about it before, it is a part of me that will always be there. (there was no SafetyNet for me when I went to school). This childhood issues may also be the reason for why I can react in a wrong way when i meet people who i do not trust, even online i can feel who to trust and who not to trust.

So much of this lay within me, that i know But a good night sleep did make me feel better, so today i am back smiling

But still want to kick someone's butt

 

[Trailblazer]

Thank you for your kind and warm words @Trailblazer you reading me like an open book And yes I do have support around me, they will guide me during difficult times (when they know I struggle) My depression comes into my life from childhood and I struggled all my life to handle it, especially 12 years if daily bullying at school made me unsure about my self, and even I have spoken out about it before, it is a part of me that will always be there. (there was no SafetyNet for me when I went to school). This childhood issues may also be the reason for why I can react in a wrong way when i meet people who i do not trust, even online i can feel who to trust and who not to trust.

I am glad you have some support around you to guide you during difficult times..

You and I have more in common than you know. I also has a difficult childhood and my parents were not emotionally available. In grade school I was very shy and never played with other children. Then in junior high I was bullied by other girls and I was so afraid to go to school I got behind a year and had to make it up. Then my mother sent me to a Catholic school and I was not Catholic or religious so I was frightened. I can recall hiding in a bathroom stall to eat my lunch because I was socially clumsy.

Because of this childhood experience, I used to allow people to bully me on forums, but no more. I finally learned to stand up for myself, so now when people insult or bully me I tell them I won't tolerate that. People like that usually come back with a snide remark, but I have learned not to respond. Actually, people like that are few and far between on this forum, so I am sure the good people of this forum are capable of recognizing this behavior. It is a reflection on those who are rude and mean, not on me.

So much of this lay within me, that i know But a good night sleep did make me feel better, so today i am back smiling

I am glad you got some sleep. Sleep does do wonders. I know that only too well since I do not normally sleep much on my work days and then I have to catch up on weekends.

But still want to kick someone's butt

I know what you mean.