Innocence

[Melody]

What value do you place on keeping your children innocent and when do you stop shielding them from the realities of the world?

Do you feel it's better that they are exposed to the real world so they are better prepared to interact with it as adults or do you act as a buffer?

I'd like to read others answers before putting my own out.

 

[Green Gaia]

I think kids do need to be exposed to the real world, not all at once, but as they can handle it. For example, my 5 year old son has had a lot of questions lately about death and dying, because he's seen news coverage about the Pope. I try to answer him as honestly as I am able (which means sometimes saying, "I don't know") and in a way I think he can understand.

There is a lot of bad stuff they should be sheilded from, especially the very young. But it's my general rule that if he asks me about something, I'm going to tell him the truth.

 

[Green Gaia]

I don't know if I answered the question or not, so I'll try again. I generally feel that kids do need exposure to the real world so they will be able to cope with it. How we as parents help them with dealing with the world and responding to it is what matters. I think sheilding them from everything is almost as bad as letting them run free and do whatever they want. Both paths will/could lead to dysfunctional adults, imo.

 

[ness]

I generally feel that kids do need exposure to the real world so they will be able to cope with it. How we as parents help them with dealing with the world and responding to it is what matters. I think sheilding them from everything is almost as bad as letting them run free and do whatever they want. Both paths will/could lead to dysfunctional adults, imo.

I agree with Maize...
I do not shield my oldest she is 12 and pretty much see's and hear's most of what happens in the world today. Unless I think it is something her ears do not need to hear...( such as the content of the M.J case... she knows what is going on but she does not know how graphic ) My two year old doesnt really understand much of whats going on in the world but like some say never underestimate a child's ability to understand.

If children arent allowed to view the world in its reality they grow up not understanding things for what they are.

 

[Valjean]

To a child all things are new and extraordinary. All are equally delightful or shocking.

The fact that some men sleep with other men is no stranger than the fact that some men sleep with women, or that fish breath water, or that dinner was a living being a few days ago.

There is no need to shelter a child from a certain fact unless you have already taught him to be disturbed by said fact -- ie: he perceives that you, for some reason, are uncomfortable with it.

 

[Ceridwen018]

There is a lot of bad stuff they should be sheilded from, especially the very young. But it's my general rule that if he asks me about something, I'm going to tell him the truth.

I read a quote somewhere regarding children that said, "If they're old enough to be interested in a subject, then they're old enough to know about it." Not that I really know what I'm talking about when it comes to kids, but that sounds pretty good to me.

Basically, I agree with you, Maize!

 

[Valjean]

"Innocent" is just a synonym for "ignorant" -- with a pretty bow on it.

 

[michel]

I don't know if I answered the question or not, so I'll try again. I generally feel that kids do need exposure to the real world so they will be able to cope with it. How we as parents help them with dealing with the world and responding to it is what matters. I think sheilding them from everything is almost as bad as letting them run free and do whatever they want. Both paths will/could lead to dysfunctional adults, imo.

There is no right or wrong - as with any other subject you might like to 'grab' at in the air.
We followed your 'prescription' in that we always answered questions as simply as possible, but with the truth. Except, of course, about the tooth fairies & Father christmas.

Once, I forgot to put a coin under Andy's pillow. The next morning, he woke and came in our room, looking upset (I really cant remember how old he was), but he had the tooth in his hand. Thinking fast (Which is NOT something I can usually do), I said "Ah, bu that's because it was Sunday night", "Sunday night is the night when the tooth fairies have to plant hairs in babie's heads - you'll have to put the tooth under your pillow again to night". Well, of course, the tooth fairy did call that night.

It was only years later that he came back to me with the "Do you know, I actually believed you for ages! - it made sense"

 

[ayani]

"Innocent" is just a synonym for "ignorant" -- with a pretty bow on it.

i agree with Seyorni. i've never fully understood what "innocence" is supposed to be, anyway.

i figure, it depends on the world in which the kid lives. if the kid's growing up in nice, safe suburbia you can probably just dance around alot of "bad" things that might come up. but if your kid knowing about the dangers of people who prey on kids, drug use, and jail is something that's going to help them survive, you better tell them. no use trying t preseve their "innocence" when in fact their ignorance might find them dead or hurt.

 

[kreeden]

Mmmm ? I'm 49 and still have an " innocent ", at times ??? And at other times , I am anything but innocent .

I think that children will grew , regardless of what we do . Lies may slow that growth , but will not stop it . I agree with the quote that Ceridwen made . But as Michel said , there is no right or wrong way .


But then , I had also just said that I was 54 ..... had to change it . So what do I know ? :biglaugh:

 

[Melody]

Thanks for all the responses. I admit to trying to keep my children innocent of the world for as long as I could although as many of you have already said, if they asked me about something I didn't lie to them. I figured if they're asking, there's a reason. I've always told them the truth although was very careful how much truth I told them.

There's an old joke about the 7 year old who went to her dad and asked where her baby brother came from and he sat her down and gave her the whole explanation of how babies were made. When he finished, he asked her if she had any questions and she said, "Well, yeah, I still don't know where the baby came from. Johnny said his baby brother came from St. Luke's Hospital and Susie said her baby brother came from Rose Hospital. Where did our baby come from?" I always made sure I knew where the question was coming from so I didn't answer what they hadn't asked.