Intelligence: A turn-on?

[Badran]

Too much time at RF.
Get out in the real world & strut your stuff, bub!

I'd never strut my stuff. I prefer writing poems, helping out at the close by orphanage, cooking exotic meals from all around the world and playing the piano.

Those are my honest interests.

 

[Titanic]

I like big firm intelligents.....er, intelligence.

You stole me answer!

 

[Koldo]

In dating and relationships, does an intelligent partner turn you on or off, or neither?

(Poll also asks for your gender. Choose whichever one you identify as.)

I am not sure on what you mean here.
Are you asking whether intelligence makes me interested in someone?
Or whether intelligence makes me excited?

Or you using a narrow definition of 'intelligence'? Or a broad one?

 

[ChristineES]

I've always been attracted to brainy men.

 

[Sunstone]

Growing up, I thought a girl's intelligence the most important thing to me.

Whoring around after puberty, I thought a woman's intelligence the most important thing to me.

Getting married, both times I thought my wive's intelligence the most important thing to me.

I then met the woman I hired as my secretary. Time went by, and I realized she was far and away less intelligent than I'd thought when I hired her.

I also realized she was kinder than I'd thought when I'd hired her.

Fact is, she taught me, as no one else had, to value in a person kindness more than brains.

 

[Sunstone]

I've always been attracted to brainy men.

Damn! I've got no chances with you!

 

[-Peacemaker-]

I honestly find ditzy girls really attractive.

 

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

Why did you limit it to only in a dating relationship? Just curious.

Dating AND relationships.

 

[Me Myself]

Growing up, I thought a girl's intelligence the most important thing to me.

Whoring around after puberty, I thought a woman's intelligence the most important thing to me.

Getting married, both times I thought my wive's intelligence the most important thing to me.

I then met the woman I hired as my secretary. Time went by, and I realized she was far and away less intelligent than I'd thought when I hired her.

I also realized she was kinder than I'd thought when I'd hired her.

Fact is, she taught me to, as no one else had, to value in a person kindness more than brains.

I think that's a great lesson.

Personally I value in a relationship way more that the woman is affective. Not the same true, but I think there is a similar motivation.

 

[Sunstone]

For me it's not so much that intelligence is a turn on, rather stupidity is a turn off.

That's how I feel about it nowadays, too.

 

[ChristineES]

Growing up, I thought a girl's intelligence the most important thing to me.

Whoring around after puberty, I thought a woman's intelligence the most important thing to me.

Getting married, both times I thought my wive's intelligence the most important thing to me.

I then met the woman I hired as my secretary. Time went by, and I realized she was far and away less intelligent than I'd thought when I hired her.

I also realized she was kinder than I'd thought when I'd hired her.

Fact is, she taught me to, as no one else had, to value in a person kindness more than brains.

Kindness trumps all else. I've never understood women who said their boyfriends or husbands were too nice (and yes, there have been a lot of those). I think I needed that reminder.

 

[Sunstone]

(Poll also asks for your gender. Choose whichever one you identify as.)

Um..erm...what does "gender" mean? And why must we identify one of them? And what ifs we've never in our lives has kept one of them as a pet? Is it our faults our parents wouldn't let us keep pets. Your question is really, really stupids I think.

 

[Me Myself]

Kindness trumps all else. I've never understood women who said their boyfriends or husbands were too nice (and yes, there have been a lot of those). I think I needed that reminder.

Maybe they wished they could be more direct from time to time.

I am just guessing though. I associate "nice" with "polite" too much.

I want a very loving affectuos woman, but I wouldnt care for her being politically correct and I would most definetely want/need her to be able to speak her mind honestly and without sugarcoating if she needs to tell me something important.

 

[Sunstone]

Maybe they wished they could be more direct from time to time.

The women I've met who complained about "too nice" guys can be sorted into two categories, I think.

The first category are those women complaining about guys that act "too nice", then expect to get laid for it. In other words, they're criticizing manipulative men.

The second category are those women complaining about guys who are naturally or genuinely nice guys. I've usually found out that these women were abused in one way or another while growing up. Not always, but usually.

 

[DallasApple]

The second category are those women complaining about guys who are naturally or genuinely nice guys. I've usually found out that these women were abused in one way or another while growing up. Not always, but usually.

I think they may view "nice" as weak.And they "want" to be protected.Its messed up.

 

[Poeticus]

The second category are those women complaining about guys who are naturally or genuinely nice guys. I've usually found out that these women were abused in one way or another while growing up. Not always, but usually.

So, they just dislike genuinely nice guys?

I think they may view "nice" as weak.And they "want" to be protected.Its messed up.

Do you like genuinely nice guys?

 

[DreadFish]

Intelligence is a huge turn on for me. There's nothing like a cute, smart girl :faint: Like Badran mentioned, I would almost consider average-intelligence women to be uninteresting and obvious lack of intelligence, on the other hand, is a total turn off.

I think it's important not to limit the term intelligence. There are different kinds of intelligences.

 

[Me Myself]

The women I've met who complained about "too nice" guys can be sorted into two categories, I think.

The first category are those women complaining about guys that act "too nice", then expect to get laid for it. In other words, they're criticizing manipulative men.

The second category are those women complaining about guys who are naturally or genuinely nice guys. I've usually found out that these women were abused in one way or another while growing up. Not always, but usually.

I would think way more than those two categories exist. Then againf those are the only ones you recall to have encountered, well, those are the only ones you recal having encountered.

I personally dont have anything against nice people but I am genuinely bothered by people who are incapable of saying something ""Hurtful"" that would actually save a lot of pain if they have said it and the person had listened.

I ve noticed some people go to me for honest criticism. It happened to me yesterday matter of fact. I am happy about it. The people you can go to ask a question and get an honest answer from when it is about a talent or work of yours for example are regreatably very very few.

I remember when I was little and made drawings I went to my father and askd him how did he liked them. He looked at them and gave me a serious honest description of their strengths and weaknesses. I remember a common plus of them was described to be capturing expression sometimes in few traces while something he said I should test out was perspective.

When I asked my mother she said "Its really pretty!" and as much as she loves me and may be very proud of me, I could tell she not always meant it or at least it felt half staged.

That is why I prefer honesty to """tact""" . yes, my dad was picking at the flaws of the drawing of his 8 or 10 year old kid. That's exactly how I knew he took me seriously, and that's exactly how I learned to respect his opinion (I didnt always agree with it BTW) and did felt very respected because of this.

So when someone says someone is very "nice" I immidiately wonder if I can trust an honest feedback from them. Because sometimes honest people are labeled as "rude" for straight telling you the truth about something you asked for, or for genuinely concerning about you and telling you what concerns them.

So I learned at a very early age in which way "too nice" could be problematic.

I prefer too honest to too nice any day of the week.

Honest I can trust.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I think it also depends on someones attitude. If someone is pompous or arrogant even if intelligent that is a turn off.

 

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

Um..erm...what does "gender" mean? And why must we identify one of them? And what ifs we've never in our lives has kept one of them as a pet? Is it our faults our parents wouldn't let us keep pets. Your question is really, really stupids I think.

It's up to the individual to decide that. I was interested in seeing if there was some kind of divide on this issue between people who self-identify as female vs. male.