Internet Porn and Porn Magazines

[Lightkeeper]

If a wife or girlfriend is bothered and offended by her boyfriend's or husbands usage of internet porn or porn magazines, does she have a legitimate complaint? Let's say he views internet porn several nights a week and/or has a subscription to a porn magazine. Let's say she feels he is cheating on her by these actions. Is he cheating on her?

 

[DirtyHarry]

Well, its obvious that she cannot satisfy him, and that he needs other "outside" help. So I guess thats kinda like cheating. I mean what is cheating but going outside of the marriage relationsip because it cannot satisfy?

 

[robtex]

Is the using the adult erotica to bring sensuality to the relationship or as a substitue for her?

If it is a substitute for her it would be very unhealthy to the relationship. But it can be a tool for increase the sexual energy in a relationship. Really before a couple becomes a couple they need to have things like views on porn ironed out beforehand. If one thinks porn is good and the other thinks its smut its gonna come up down the road in the relationship.

Sexuality is an important aspect to any relationship, just as much as future plans on children, area of living type of work, spirtual commonality ect. I think a lot of couples seem to glaze over the intimacy, sexual part until they are a couple --dating and what not and than realize they are not on the same page sexually. Porn, which is a form of voyerism, is one of those things you should know about your partner's views on before you become serious.

The more you put on the table early on in any dating game the more successful you wil likey be in relationships. Rest assured if some guy is viewing porn he was probably doing it before he met her (as opposed to discovering it afterwards). Making ones sexuality a tabboo subject while courting has no postitive aspects to it but does have negative consequences.

As far as it calling it cheating....for it to be cheating one would have to believe that fantasizing about someone else during self -pleasure is cheating too....I don't think it is realistic to think thay any couple has not had sensual thoughts about another person at some point. Viewing porn for self pleasure is a way of fantazing outside the relationship with a visual aid.

 

[painted wolf]

If she has a problem and he refuses to change there is a problem.
If he likes a little porn now and again and she is unbudging in her abhorance then she has a problem.
Problems with porn are the result of lack of proper communication and respect, on the part of both partners. IMHO

wa:do

 

[jewscout]

If the gf/wife has a problem with it the couple should sit down and discuss the concerns each have. It may very well be that the husband is looking for a bit more in their sex life...then again it may not be. Regardless of the reason there needs to be some communication to discuss the problem....i don't know if i'd really call it cheating though.

 

[cardero]

carrdero:Why do some women who are perceived as being sexy offend other women?



GOD: From MY observances, it could BE one of many reasons. Women K(NOW) what a sexual image does to a man and may become offended if they are not perceived the same way. As I mentioned, not every human matures in the same form. Some are sleek, some are slim, some are overweight, and some are not proportioned CORRECTLY. Some women can become intimidated by the presence of another woman whom they perceive to BE better looking than them. When a male becomes infatuated with another model a woman feels her mate is paying more attention to the other model, and not to her.



c: Is this incorrect?



G: There are many considerations and expectations both with males and females at this moment. Beauty will ALL(WAYS) BE in the eye of the beholder. There are many things of beauty to look at and most of them do not stand on two legs. If a man finds another entity beautiful, I do not think ALL of them wish to "perform acts" with them. The same could BE said of women who consider other men or women handsome. It is just preference and what makes ALL men and women individuals. Jealousy is not a gown best adorned by humans.

Hello It's Me: An Interview With GOD
Chapter: Men And Women
Page: 259

 

[Sunstone]

I believe the female equivalent of male oriented soft porn is the romance novel. I also believe that most women are capable by the age of 21 of distinquishing between the fantasy of romance novels and the reality of men. As long as a woman has a healthy grasp of the differences between the men in her life and the men in romance novels, what harm does it do for her to read romance novels? Is she cheating on the men in her life by reading those novels?

 

[robtex]

I believe the female equivalent of male oriented soft porn is the romance novel. Is she cheating on the men in her life by reading those novels?

The minute you turn it into a him vs her battle you are setting up a lose/lose senerio. Romance novels like exotic books and magazine will either be or not be a tool for sensuality in the relationship. People who date should just put that on the table soon in the game and way before they move intogether or get married.

The reality is that both man and the woman ( or man/man woman/woman in gay relationships) will at times think of others in a sensual way outside the relationship. It is human nature. Instead of fighting that nature maybe it is a better strategy to aknowledge it draw a mutually agreed boundry on it and move from there.

 

[fromthe heart]

If a wife or girlfriend is bothered and offended by her boyfriend's or husbands usage of internet porn or porn magazines, does she have a legitimate complaint? Let's say he views internet porn several nights a week and/or has a subscription to a porn magazine. Let's say she feels he is cheating on her by these actions. Is he cheating on her?

You betcha' he's cheating! He's turning his emotions even though it's sexual emotions away from where he should center his attentions. Porn is destructive in any form. It demeans men,women,kids...and in my personal opinion degrades him in his faith if he in fact has a faith. Porn isn't free speech to me it's just destruction on paper. It is extremely offensive to many people and I don't feel it has a place in any relationship.:tsk:

Just my opinion.

 

[Sunstone]

I agree that a him vs her battle is a loosing scenerio. And I think your words, Robtex, about people who date should put the issue of porn on the table are very wise. I pointed out that Romance Novels are the equivalent of male soft porn not to set up a him vs her battle, but to perhaps help put the question about porn in a broader perspective. After all, both sexes have an erotic life, one that shares some commonality, and also has some differences. For instance: males tend to be more visually oriented in their eroticism, while females tend to be more verbally oriented in their eroticism. These similarities and differences need to be discussed, understood and respected, in my opinion.

 

[huajiro]

When my wife and I were together, we had an agreement. I could never look at porn, or other women, she would keep me satisfied. I tell you what, I only thought of her, and no other women....it was great....and she kept me happy.

Sex was never a problem for us.