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Is it Foolish to Nurse Anger?

Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
People as dissimilar as the Buddha and Mark Twain have observed that nursing anger -- that is, unnecessarily prolonging it for whatever reason -- is unwise since doing so tends to harm you. Do you agree or disagree? If so, in what ways can nursing anger harm you? If not, why not?
 
psychoslice

psychoslice

Veteran Member
Anger is really a natural emotion, but if we nurse it then it will grow, anger should be that where it is needed, and then let go of. Holding onto anger will make you more angry, this then will poison you. Yes let anger be, but also let it go.
 
robtex

robtex

Veteran Member
Maybe you and I don't have much choice on nursing anger. Our memory works on cues. If I get a cue that reminds me of something that upsets me I don't feel I can really stop it. The reaction is there--however mild or intense as soon as the cue is produced.

Anger is the price-tag on passion. The more things on our world that wind us up the more ques we get hit with in life. I don't think I know how to narrow or broaden that window between apathy and passion but I think our propensity towards ideas of passion coupled with the cues in life that re-engage our memory of things that can anger us make the idea of harboring or not harboring our anger somewhat beyond our control.
 
Quagmire

Quagmire

Imaginary talking monkey
Staff member
Premium Member
Holding on to anger can give you ulcers, high-blood pressure, insomnia, . . .

But maybe the worst part about harboring a grudge is that you can find yourself devoting more of your head-space to the people you dislike than the people you care about (how is that going to turn out good). Of course, a lot of the time those are the same people. :D

Anger is usually a by-product of pride, and pride is usually a by-product of an unrealistic view of who you are and what you've got coming to you.
 
D

Deidre

Well-Known Member
Anger can be used for the betterment of society, actually...if channeled properly. I think of righteous anger, and for example, the civil rights movement in the United States. It took outrage actually at the violation of basic human rights for people to come together to act on behalf of those who were being marginalized at the time. I disagree that it's always an act of pride, sometimes it's a raw reaction to injustice.
 
bain-druie

bain-druie

Tree-Hugger!
As in all things, I believe balance is healthy. Anger serves vital purposes in its proper place; it gives strength to act where fear destroys it, it motivates the fight against injustice, it gives energy for accomplishing goals where despair drains it. Anger is sometimes the only appropriate response in a situation. On the other hand, repressing anger leads to depression (internalized anger) and sometimes worse.

'Nursing' anger implies clinging to it; that is unhealthy with any emotion, because we are beings in constant motion, always changing. Nothing remains perfectly constant, nor should it. However, if, for instance, you experience a trauma as a child which leads you to respond with anger as an adult, that is not necessarily a bad thing - depending on the actions to which the anger leads.
 
Geoff-Allen

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Good question!

I used to be VERY angry and cynical.

Meditation and spiritual practices have improved my disposition out-of-sight!

Anger CAN be positive - IF it is motivated by compassion but often this is not the case and it ruins your serenity. I remember JUST how frustrating and unpleasant my old anger used 2 be ...

Best of luck with it!
 
N

Nietzsche

The Last Prussian
Premium Member
Sunstone said:
People as dissimilar as the Buddha and Mark Twain have observed that nursing anger -- that is, unnecessarily prolonging it for whatever reason -- is unwise since doing so tends to harm you. Do you agree or disagree? If so, in what ways can nursing anger harm you? If not, why not?
Click to expand...
Anger is my driving cause for life. So I disagree. It keeps me going.
 
LuisDantas

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
Sunstone said:
People as dissimilar as the Buddha and Mark Twain have observed that nursing anger -- that is, unnecessarily prolonging it for whatever reason -- is unwise since doing so tends to harm you. Do you agree or disagree? If so, in what ways can nursing anger harm you? If not, why not?
Click to expand...

Yes, I definitely agree and disagree.

Nursing anger is definitely dangerous and harmful. Alas, it is in human nature to often need to harm ourselves, out of ignorance of better ways if for no other reason.

Anger isn't a good thing, but it is entirely common to be in situations where the realistic alternatives are even worse.

The trick, the actual important decision, is IMO to nurture situations which will make the need to express anger less likely. Which is to say, we should all strive to learn to anticipate situations which are likely to anger us and create the circunstances which will make them less likely to manifest.

There are two main reasons why we don't always, out of the top of my head.

The first, and perhaps most significant, is plain ignorance. It is not rare for people to just fail to make the connection between their circunstances and habits and their anger, or to realize which options they might have to break it. Some environments are in fact designed to purposefully raise anger, often for religious or military purposes. Anger has a social use in that it makes people predictable, easy to control. Not a good thing, but an appealing one for some.

The second is some combination of fear and self-importance. Or better yet, just call it lack of faith. For one to decide to avoid being angered, there must be some degree of faith that it will be worth the trouble, that people will cooperate enough for the effort not to be wasted.

So, in a nutshell: anger just is. It is not in itself particularly bad. But living a life where anger is rarely avoided is symptomatic of a danger of becoming disfunctional, abusive and parasitical, or otherwise unhinged.
 
N

Nietzsche

The Last Prussian
Premium Member
psychoslice said:
More adrenalin than endorphins, unless you are a masochist, too much adrenalin can cause havoc in your health, especially causing Anxiety.
Click to expand...
Psychopath, don't really have that problem. And even when I do, they make lovely little blue things filled with alprazolam for that.
 
S

suncowiam

Well-Known Member
I think controlled emotions can work to one's advantage.

I ride a thin line of anger and jealousy when playing sports. It fuels me to be better, but I can't let it be destructive where it harms the entire team. This is just a small example.

Mainly, are you in control of your emotions or are the emotions in control of you? Very conscious people know exactly what emotions they feel as it starts kicking. They've practiced their emotions which in return gives them confidence to control their own situations.

Like others noted, emotions are natural and are not harmful innately, otherwise we would be dead. But like anything in life, emotions taken to great excess will be harmful.
 
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