Is it wrong to love yourself?

[Ori]

I borderline hate myself, but by loving yourself too much you are neglecting those around you.

 

[Apotheosis]

Hmm..how many topics can you create in a day?

 

[Pussyfoot Mouse]

I borderline hate myself, but by loving yourself too much you are neglecting those around you.

Well I like you orchi!

I think you have to love yourself before you can expect others to love you.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

If by loving yourself too much you mean that you become narcissistic and ignore or mistreat other people, then, I'd say that's a ridiculous extreme. Hopefully, not many people get that 'bad'.

I've heard it said you can't really love others until you love yourself, so I'd say No, it's not wrong.

 

[kreeden]

Well I like you orchi!

I think you have to love yourself before you can expect others to love you.

I think that one has to love one's self before they can love another . For the simple fact that one has to know what love is to show it to another . If one doesn't love theirself , they don't love others , they worship them .

 

[huajiro]

I borderline hate myself, but by loving yourself too much you are neglecting those around you.

My rule of thumb is love those close to you and allow them to love you. It has worked well with my family.

 

[michel]

If by loving yourself too much you mean that you become narcissistic and ignore or mistreat other people, then, I'd say that's a ridiculous extreme. Hopefully, not many people get that 'bad'.

I've heard it said you can't really love others until you love yourself, so I'd say No, it's not wrong.

I think you have put it in a nutshell, as usual, Captain X; it is true that you cannot learn to love others until you learn to love yourself.

As you say there is a happy medium (and I still haven't found out where she lives - I've been looking for her all my life) though, and too much self love goes into all that nasty narcistic stuff - UGH - the last time I saw a reflection of myself in water, I chucked a stone into the pond, to make sure my image disappeared.:biglaugh:

 

[Engyo]

Short words are slippery things; long ones usually have only one definition. Love in this instance can be interpreted many different ways, as other posters have already done.

I would say that a better way to phrase it is to accept and approve of yourself as a person (not necessarily physically); and I feel that is an important thing for human beings to do.

 

[Ronule]

OH, you meant that kind of love... I saw the title and I got the song, "Touch Myself" in my head. Well to answer the question, I don't think it's wrong as long as you don't shut others out. And the other kind of self-love is fine as well... as long as it doesn't become a compulsion.

 

[joeboonda]

I enjoy loving myself, lol.

 

[cardero]

All the good answers are already taken.

 

[Cynic]

I borderline hate myself, but by loving yourself too much you are neglecting those around you.

Well, which one makes life much easier? Hating yourself never accomplishes anything.

I used to hate myself too, but those states they were simply emotional responses that lacked reason. I then came to a bunch of logic decisions, when I realized all this was going nowhere. Thats exactly where such things lead you. Nowhere... like walking circles. It sufficates the potential quality of life. You can accomplish so much more when you have self-confidence, love, and belief in yourself. Life becomes much more enjoyable. And in most cases, it's a choice. I don't know why you borderline hate yourself. But you can choose to look at the negetive things about yourself and set your mind on that, or you can look at the positive things about yourself, forgive yourself and move on, etc. Negetive things lead down a negetive road, which ends with a dead end. Why be negetive? How does this help out the situation at all?
Self worth is an important thing, you need to have self worth no matter what happens.

Sorry, just felt compelled to say something.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

I pretty much hated myself growing up, too. I was convinced that everyone was worthy of respect and love, except for myself. If someone loved me, it was only because they didn't know the real me, or because they were too kind a person.

It's really true. You can't truly love another person unless you love yourself. (Kreeden said it better than I.) Once I was able to accept that I had just as much right to be loved and be respected, my relationships with everyone improved. The only ones they didn't improve with were the people I didn't like anyways- those that liked me docile and self-effacing. (Errr... Actually, I'm not sure if I was ever really docile.) How can any relationship like that be healthy?

 

[Bastet]

If someone loved me, it was only because they didn't know the real me...

I had someone say this to me fairly recently. I thought it was bulls**t then too. :sarcastic

As Feathers and others have already said, you can't expect love in your life - either to truly give it or receive it - if you don't first love yourself. I'm not talking about thinking you're God's gift to men/women/tandem bicycles, but simply liking who you are, regardless. Being able to look yourself in the eye in a mirror and say out loud "I love myself exactly as I am" (not thinner, not with better teeth/skin/hair, not more beautiful/handsome), is not an easy thing for a lot of people to do. But being able to do that can do wonders for a person's self worth...which affects a lot more in one's external life.

 

[Bastet]

...too much self love goes into all that nasty narcistic stuff - UGH - the last time I saw a reflection of myself in water, I chucked a stone into the pond, to make sure my image disappeared.:biglaugh:

:biglaugh: You just reminded me of something that happened at work today. I had just spent over 3 hours cleaning (in preparation for a visit from our consultant from Head Office), some of which had included polishing all of the stainless steel throughout the entire store (and there is a lot). I had almost finished, when one of the younger kids came in and leant against the doorframe of the manager's office, leaving dirty greasy handprints all over the stainless I'd just cleaned. :banghead3 When I pointed out what he'd done, and that I'd just cleaned that area not 5 minutes before, he said "Oh well...". Not being in the best of moods, I had a mini rant at him, which ended with "I don't clean the stainless just because I like to look at my reflection!" Little bugger just laughed lol.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

I had someone say this to me fairly recently. I thought it was bulls**t then too. :sarcastic

I should've noted it's no longer the way I feel. (Unless I'm having a day where I slip back into old thought patterns.) It's so sad that, if a person honestly thinks that way (as opposed to being one of those types that's simply wanting attention) there's really nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. You wind up wanting to smack 'em (or yourself, if you're the one who's doing it) with a wooden spoon and say "Wake up! You're loved and loveable!"

Not being in the best of moods, I had a mini rant at him, which ended with "I don't clean the stainless just because I like to look at my reflection!"

Have I mentioned lately that you're my goddess?

 

[Bastet]

Have I mentioned lately that you're my goddess?

Hush dear, you'll make me blush. :flirt:

 

[matey]

I don't think it's a matter of right and wrong about loving oneself. You do or you don't. So you should come to love yourself.
Cynic, excellent way to put it.

 

[Mike182]

I don't think it's a matter of right and wrong about loving oneself. You do or you don't. So you should come to love yourself.
Cynic, excellent way to put it.

i dont know what i think on this subject

i dont love myself, i know my flawwes and i hate a lot of me

but i would never change any of me for the world

i always get weird though when people compliment me, i can never understand why they are impressed with something i did or what im wearing o rhow i hav emy hair or whatever

C_P

 

[Cynic]

People don't love themselves because they choose to look at the negetive things about themselves, but you have the choice whether or not to percieve yourself in a negetive way.

Sometimes the cause is what other people say and do to you.

I pretty much hated myself growing up, too. I was convinced that everyone was worthy of respect and love, except for myself. If someone loved me, it was only because they didn't know the real me, or because they were too kind a person.

i dont love myself, i know my flawwes and i hate a lot of me


i always get weird though when people compliment me, i can never understand why they are impressed with something i did or what im wearing o rhow i hav emy hair or whatever

Your emotional response is going to be based on that perceptual information, and you will feel that you hate yourself, feel sorry for yourself, guilt, etc.

Bottom line is, is that this is completely unnessasary.

What makes successful people successful? When they fail, they don't quit. They don't sit there and mope about their failures, because that gets them no where. Successful people fail, many times, but they don't let the negetive consume them.

When you sit and think negetively, and you let this control you, it will also control your environment. It creates a negetive downspiral, and everything in your external life gets out of control along with the internal. Withdrawal, depression, suicide.

You can't expect to control things around you, unless if you control yourself first. How can you control your life, the sadness around you, when you cannot control yourself first? No but you let your failures in life, the things people say or do to you, you allow these things to take control over you and all the other aspects of your life. It's easy. But you can make life harder than it really is. You can make life meanigless when it's completely full of meaning.

All it takes is a choice, and self control over these thoughts. Get in control. Stand up for yourself, believe and be confident in yourself, take care of yourself. Forgive yourself. Accept yourself for who you are.