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James Dobson On Discipline (And How Children Are Like Dogs)
- Thread starter Sunstone
- Start date
Booko
Deviled Hen
bigvindaloo said:
Good point.
The best way to create a sociopath I can think of is to beat the crap out of him when he's a kid.
Hey, it worked for Hitler and Saddam, didn't it? And a list of others I won't bother with at this time...
As for Dobson...I'm waiting to hear him quote where Jesus said we should beat children into submission. He never beat anyone, much less children. Not in my Bible, anyway.
bigvindaloo
Active Member
Engyo said:
Having thought again about non-duality I found that I agree with you all along. So I stand corrected on that. Funny concept non-duality though as it seems to be the negation of a mental construction. Dualism is IMO wrong of course.
Engyo
Prince of Dorkness!
BigVindaloo -bigvindaloo said:
Exactly. Nondualism is the negation of the mental construct of duality, and we can apply this to any instance where "common wisdom" would indicate that we as individuals are separate from others, or from our surroundings, or that our bodies are separate from our minds. Thanks by the way; having to explain this has helped clarify some of my own thinking here.
To bring this back on topic, because of this non-duality, I find no surprises in there being similarities between the way Mr. Dobson believes that his universe and deity treat him, and the way he treats his family and pets.
A
angellous_evangellous
Guest
Pretty scary stuff.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
I think disobedience in general is due to original sin.
If a child is rebellious and will not respect his/her authority, I believe a breaking of the will is necessary for their benefit. How can parents expect their children to thrive in the real world, if they have no respect for authority? Whether or not the kid grows up to be an independent thinker depends on the kid and MANY influential factors.
I think we all suck at times and we all needed some form of discipline, while we were growing up. One learns the concepts of right and wrong through positive and negative reinforcement. And "wills" can be broken utilizing varying parenting techniques. Taking a whip to a behind isnt the ONLY form of effective disipline.
The scenario Dobson provided was stupid.
Effective but likely against the law in many parts of the country.
I have no clue. I have received some reading materials from Focus on the Family that I found useful. The other stuff gets pitched.
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
Actually, I think it might possibly have a little more to do with this newfangled idea called "psychology".
It's an effective way to break it's confidence and spirit and to instill fear, distrust and/or aggression in a dog. Not to mention the potential for severe physical injury. In the civilized world it's called "abuse". Punching a baby out is an "effective" method to quell its crying, but no one would actually suggest that, would they.
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Smoke
Done here.
Absolutely. Just like a woman who doesn't respect her husband's authority needs to have her will broken, or a worker who doesn't perform to his employer's expectations. There's entirely too much coddling of people who don't respect authority, and we need to get back to those good old traditional values that made this country great.
A dog, a woman, a walnut tree --
the more you beat them, the better they be.
If you don't beat your children, how are they going to learn to beat their children?the more you beat them, the better they be.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I do not agree with much of what James Dobson writes, and I find this account disturbing for the most part. However, I do agree with his assessment that if allowed unchecked, children can be extremely manipulating, and from a very early age. Speaking of Pavlov, if a kid figures out that all he has to do is make a scene in the grocery store to get that candy, guess what he will do? Every time! If he thinks that there's even a 40 percent chance that he might get that candy, he's likely to do it. So my point is, you can't EVER let him have the candy if he makes a scene. If he's well behaved in the store, reward the good behavior. Not the bad.
This can start very early in life. With my babies, bedtime is a good example. I felt that 8 pm was a reasonable time for bed. If the baby was fed, bathed, changed, and had been loved up on, I put the baby in the bed, kissed him on the top of the head, and tiptoed out, closing the door. BEDTIME.
Out of four kids, you can imagine that I got varying responses from very early ages on that! But I determined very early on that I had to maintain the upper hand. So...they could cry, scream, throw themselves against the crib slats, or settle in nicely and go on to sleep. But they weren't getting up.
It didn't take long for any of them to settle into that routine, and they were better off for it -which was the whole point anyway. It wasn't that I was a control freak -it was that as their mother,it was my job to look after their welfare and make good choices for them until they were capable of making their own choices.
So maybe it boils down to motivation. James Dobson obviously has some issues about control. That doesn't mean that all his advice on the matter is irrelevant - he's absolutely right in saying that kids can be very manipulative and it's our job as parents to curtail negative behavior.
This can start very early in life. With my babies, bedtime is a good example. I felt that 8 pm was a reasonable time for bed. If the baby was fed, bathed, changed, and had been loved up on, I put the baby in the bed, kissed him on the top of the head, and tiptoed out, closing the door. BEDTIME.
Out of four kids, you can imagine that I got varying responses from very early ages on that! But I determined very early on that I had to maintain the upper hand. So...they could cry, scream, throw themselves against the crib slats, or settle in nicely and go on to sleep. But they weren't getting up.
It didn't take long for any of them to settle into that routine, and they were better off for it -which was the whole point anyway. It wasn't that I was a control freak -it was that as their mother,it was my job to look after their welfare and make good choices for them until they were capable of making their own choices.
So maybe it boils down to motivation. James Dobson obviously has some issues about control. That doesn't mean that all his advice on the matter is irrelevant - he's absolutely right in saying that kids can be very manipulative and it's our job as parents to curtail negative behavior.
A
angellous_evangellous
Guest
If we beat up people like this, there would be no socialists.
A
angellous_evangellous
Guest
Every time I see a Republican with teeth, I am shocked. :yes:
"It's those dad-blamed socialists at'll destroy our country."
painted wolf
Grey Muzzle
Egads....
That is essentially the antithesis of what First Nations thought about child care. Children were never to be beaten... Children should not fear adults, respect is learned in much healthier ways.
Any man that would beat a dog is dangerous. That kind of man has no control over his anger or his brutality.
wa:do
That is essentially the antithesis of what First Nations thought about child care. Children were never to be beaten... Children should not fear adults, respect is learned in much healthier ways.
Any man that would beat a dog is dangerous. That kind of man has no control over his anger or his brutality.
wa:do
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
There's a difference between breaking a person's will, and teaching them to respect valid authority - and imparting the wisdom for them to understand the difference between authority and abuse.
Of course, if the parent is trying to teach a child the difference, the parent can't be beating the dogs - or lying to his boss about being sick either.
Of course, if the parent is trying to teach a child the difference, the parent can't be beating the dogs - or lying to his boss about being sick either.
Smoke
Done here.
I agree.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
I clearly stated that physical discipline isn't the ONLY form of effective "will" breaking.
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