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John. D Rockefeller

chuck010342

Active Member
as promised my first paper.



History is vital to understand any culture or group of people. To further our understanding of our own culture a study of American history must be done. Every aspect of our culture needs to be understood in order to gain a heightened experience of our society. Business is an aspect of both history and culture. In particular a study of the life of John D. Rockefeller would be most helpful in this respect. Rockefellers name is always connected to the old business he dominated. Rockefeller was a business man in every sense of the word. Rockefeller was a business man during the 17th century and he was very good at it. Rockefeller is defiantly what we call a “Robber Baron.” Rockefeller can even be called the personification of a Robber Baron. Any historian can tell you that Rockefeller was a greedy man and how he got his money is quite a study.
Rockefeller was first of all a business man. In ever sense of the word he was indeed a “business man.” A man concerned only and only with making money. Business is what he only was interested in. Money Money and more money would be his worldview. If you look at pictures of this man you will see that he almost never has a smile on his face, its always a grim demeanor.

“The only time ever saw John Rockefeller enthusiastic was when a report came in from the creek that his buyer had secured a cargo of oil at a figure much below the market price. He hounded from his chair with a shout of joy, danced up and down, hugged me, threw up his hat, acted so like a mad man that I had never forgotten it. “

He is only excited when he gets his money. He might have been using an interesting type of new drug or something but I doubt that. I would have to say that with the evidence that we have about Rockefeller he would have to answers all of the questions you provided.
Rockefeller call adequately called a “Robber Baron” Now what is this phrase and what does it mean? In the words of the Reader's Companion to American History a Robber Baron is

(this is a ) disapproving term was used to describe late-nineteenth-century industrialists, especially those who ostentatiously displayed their wealth. The phrase gained widespread popularity as the title of a history published in 1934 by Matthew Josephson in the depths of the Great Depression. It was applied to industrial leaders and corporations of the late nineteenth century, such as Andrew Carnegie and Carnegie Steel, John D. Rockefeller and Standard Oil, and Cornelius and William Vanderbilt and their railroads Such comments as William Vanderbilt's

This would defiantly give a good definition of who Rockefeller is. "The public be damned!" expressed the scornful attitude that earned the robber barons their unsavory reputation. The only really good thing about Rockefeller was the fact that he was very real. He was at least himself and not trying to live two different lives at once.
Rockefeller was the type of person who could get money and save it. He was not always honest in his dealings with business. Rockefeller was raised in a religious Baptist community but apparently money was a bit more interesting then salvation.

John D Rockefeller had been raised in the strictest Baptist faith, in the paternal farm near Cleveland, Ohio. Greedy since his childhood, he used to buy candies wholesale to resell them to his siblings at a profit. After mandatory school, he works at 16 as an accountant for a grocer in Cleveland, giving the greatest satisfaction to his employer by his diligence. He was the kind of accountant that saw everything and forgot nothing. Rockefeller did not forget this early experiences when he came to run his own business.

I seriously doubt that all of his money was gathered this way. This story, although cute, is not how he got all of his money. He got his money by being very dedicated to his work.



now I would like to actually discuss the ideas in my paper.
 

Chimowowo

Member
Sorry, but before we discuss your paper I must critique it (I don't mean to be a grammar nazi or anything, but like I said, have to critique it before discussing it). First of all you repeat to many words. Most notably is Rockefeller. 6 Sentances in the first paragraph alone start with his name. Most in a row. Also you repeat business man. You say ' Rockefeller was first of all a business man. In ever sense of the word he was indeed a “business man.”' multiple times just in different ways.

I don't know if this is for school or not, but either way, the key is to not over use words or phrases. It's something to really watch out for when writing about a specific person or topic. Synonyms and pronouns become your friend here. Also fluff the sentances with more descriptive words and filler (so long as it's relevant). This will help spread it out so as to keep it from being to repetative. Some of your sentences are very short. Sometimes that's a good thing, however in this paper it seemed to work against it. Remember it's a descriptive paper, not a fact sheet.

Your paragraphing and puncuations seem to be off by a bit. Normally I wouldn't care, unless it's a paper written for school, or work. In which case you need to be overly zealous with those.

You used the term “Robber Baron” and then didn't define/explain it for almost half the paper. That's poor form. It leaves the reader confused for several parts. Now if it's a word is just a rare word in someone's vocabulary that's fine. But slang, phrase's and acronym's need to be defined as they are used in papers.

That's about it for now. If you find this helpful and want my 'help' further let me know and let me know what it's for as the type of paper it is, and it's intended audience matter as to how it should be written. However if you don't care or it doesn't matter ignore this.

As far as ideas in the paper, I only gathered one overall idea, that Mr. Rockefeller was a ruthless business man. The rest was just supporting and describing that. And I totally agree. He didn't get to be where he ended up by playing nice and following all the rules. He got there by hard work and determination.
 

Aqualung

Tasty
another thing, you don't really tell what rockafeller even did. You say he was a greedy business man who like money a lot, but only mentioned that he was in oil once, and only in passing.
 

chuck010342

Active Member
yes it was for school but it wasn't done in my name :) you see a friend wanted me to do it for him and he would pay me with food. so I would like to announce my crappiest paper ever written. I didn't explain much at all the simple reason was I didn't need to LOL
 

chuck010342

Active Member
Aqualung said:
another thing, you don't really tell what rockafeller even did. You say he was a greedy business man who like money a lot, but only mentioned that he was in oil once, and only in passing.

and the problem with that is???
 

Aqualung

Tasty
chuck010342 said:
and the problem with that is???
Well, I guess that depends why you are writing your paper. If it's informative about rockafeller, you left out some pretty important information. If it's not just straight informative, nobody is going to be able to make a good opinion about your paper anyway if they don't know who he is and you don't explain it.
 
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