Join me, disciples of Druidus!

[Druidus]

I have begun my holy quest for truth. This is the vastly fragmented book of Druidus:

On the date of the year of our Lord, 2005, on April 16th, a bright light filled the land, and standing before Druidus was God. God spoke, "Where are your cards?". Druidus replied, "O, holy One, I keep them in my pocket." God then played a game of poker with Druidus, but they stopped after God got angry because Druidus was winning.

God spoke with Druidus, about many things, while munching on "cheetos", and drinking Sprite. Apparently, God's chosen race was the red breasted hummingbird, and it was out task to protect them. Later, they watched a particularily unfullfilling episode of "CSI: New York", on television.

God then said it was time for him to leave, but before leaving, he had something important to say. He spoke:
"And yea, he, who goes by the name of Druidus, shall become the Messiah, on the eve of New Year, in the Year of 2012. The spirit of my Son, Jesus, shall enter into him, and come into glory. Oh, and make sure there's enough weed for him too. Man is he a pothead!"

Druidus replied, "Okey Dokey."

And with that, Druidus departed on a pilgramage of envisioning, to seek wisdom and knnowledge, from the movie "The Jacket", at the holy theatre.

Once again, the spirit of God visited Druidus, on the date of 2005, April 17th, and granted him an epiphany. The disciples of Druidus will be visited by the spirit of God, and granted revelations that will be added to the book of Druidus in subsections. Afterwards, God gave Druidus his recipe for the best damn soup ever. Druidus gave God some Earth Cheetos, because, as God put it, "They don't make em' in heaven like this anymore.".

The book of Druidus, subsection "According to Halcyon":

I have had a vision;

I walked though the park an lo before me was a man, he had a great white beard and from him eminated the blinding light of truth. I knelt before him and asked of him "Is that you Santa?" The man saith "Nein, ich bin dein Lord". I said to him "Come again?" And he replieth, "Oops sorry, i thought i was in Germany, never mind you'll do." A great confusion came upon me, "What are you on about?" i saideth.
Just then the man grow as large as a horse when it stands on its hind legs, "I am the Lord your God, and this is the one who was fortold in the Book of Great Cheeses, the Messiah Druidus." And frometh behind the Lord stepped a figure of pure shining light and i knew it to be true.

The Lord our God then saith to me "Halcyon, the English Child, it is your destiny to follow Druidus who standeth upon my right foot. Heed his teachings and you shall find the true path to heaven, for without his teachings you would need a map."
With these words the Messiah annointed me-eth with the Sacred Salad Dressing and i bowed down before him, but then moved slightly to the left to avoid putting my hand in dog poo.
The vision faded but i was left filled with the truth of the divinity of Druidus, and the smell of poo in my nose because i got a bit too close to it.

P.S. This is a sacred book and everything in it is true, as it is the word of our Lord, God.

And thus ends the book of Druidus.

I ask my disciples to help me, in my search for the rest of the fragments of my Word, and to join me, in spreading the word!



Who shall be a disciple? Who shall step into the light?

 

[Saint Xtreme]

I will join you, oh great Prophet. I shall help spread the word of the Book of Druidus.

 

[Druidus]

I shall annoint you, oh follower of Druidus, servant and future son of God.

With this oil of Creamy Italian Salad Dressing, I annoint you as my disciple and follower, Saint Xtreme!

You shall be known as the "Bringer of Light", throughout the Lands!

 

[The Black Whirlwind]

I'll pull some strings and ask the Force a favor or two, and soon enough, the book of druidus will be in the minds of all who seek the light!

 

[Yerda]

With this oil of Creamy Italian Salad Dressing, I annoint you as my disciple and follower, Saint Xtreme!

And if you behave you shall become Saint Saint Xtreme.

 

[niamhwitch]

I will join you as well, great Druidus!

 

[Druidus]

I will join you as well, great Druidus!

You are now Disciple Niamhwitch (after the annointing ceremony, of course). Go forth, and spread the word!

You shall be known as "The Wordbringer"


Followers! We stand at a crossroads! Should we abandon our ways to the sinfulness of the world, or continue to spread the word of God, through the book of Druidus? To me, there is no choice. We must continue to help the heathen, and convert them, and any other heretics, to the word of God, through Druidus.

Last night, the spirit of God appeared to me, and gave me a message. Disciples of mine will now get their own chance of Books. The spirit of God has told me that he will appear to them, and give them their revelations and prophecies. I will add this revelation to the book of Druidus. Disciples, as you gain your revelations, do not withhold them from the world! Write them, and they shall be amended to the book of Druidus, with each disciples clearly stated subsections!


:woohoo:

 

[michel]

Err, don't forget to keep taking the tablets.....:bonk:

 

[ayani]

Druidus-
you've got the religious rhetoric down cold! :biglaugh:

spread the word, o polar leader of men!

 

[Halcyon]

I have had a vision;

I walked though the park an lo before me was a man, he had a great white beard and from him eminated the blinding light of truth. I knelt before him and asked of him "Is that you Santa?" The man saith "Nein, ich bin dein Lord". I said to him "Come again?" And he replieth, "Oops sorry, i thought i was in Germany, never mind you'll do." A great confusion came upon me, "What are you on about?" i saideth.
Just then the man grow as large as a horse when it stands on its hind legs, "I am the Lord your God, and this is the one who was fortold in the Book of Great Cheeses, the Messiah Druidus." And frometh behind the Lord stepped a figure of pure shining light and i knew it to be true.

The Lord our God then saith to me "Halcyon, the English Child, it is your destiny to follow Druidus who standeth upon my right foot. Heed his teachings and you shall find the true path to heaven, for without his teachings you would need a map."
With these words the Messiah annointed me-eth with the Sacred Salad Dressing and i bowed down before him, but then moved slightly to the left to avoid putting my hand in dog poo.
The vision faded but i was left filled with the truth of the divinity of Druidus, and the smell of poo in my nose because i got a bit too close to it.

But this was only a vision, Great Druidus I plead with you to allow me to serve you as follower and Disciple!

 

[Druidus]

Halcyon, it is naught for me to annoint you, for you have been annointed by God. You are a disciple of mine, and a loyal follower of the Lord. A peice of the book of Druidus has been found, through you, and your visions. I can see the truth in your words, and I will add your subsection into the book of Druidus! You shall be known as "The Bioman".

Go forth and spread the word!

Gracie, I hereby annoint you with the sacred Creamy Italian Salad Dressing, and bring you into the light. You shall be known as "The Peacemaker".

 

[ayani]

cool!

i shall go forth into the sordid world of confusion and calamity and spread the holy word of the blessed, visionary Druidic one!

:waves banner above head:

 

[Prima]

An lo, Prima was seated at her slow computer and she beheld a great light! The words of Druidus shone as though on fire! And Prima spoke thus:

"Huh?"

And so it was that she became a disciple of Druidus, and the Heavens opened with a majestic

"KKKKKKrrrrrrrrrrrGgggHHHHHHyyyummmmppppoooooooott"

And the Holy Salad Dressing rained upon Prima, and again she spoke:

"Ouch! that stings!"

And behold, the infinite wisdom of Prima led her to find a bowl of salad into which to drip. And she then shared this salad, and lo! all who ate of it saw clearly visions of little bunnies eating artichokes and calling out the name of Druidus, and some who ate it found fuzzies and pieces of hair from Prima's clothing, and some refused to eat of the Holy Salad, and were thus struck down with a particularly unpleasant rainstorm of lollipops and gumdrops. And they did repent as soon as one was struck in the eye.

 

[Prima]

And rightly did Prima step into the light after applying sunscreen that smelled like bananas. And she proclaimed:

"This is all true! No, really!"

And did request to join the bunch of maniacs.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Will it be the new year going from 2011 to 2012? If so, that is an odd date, since the The earth is supposed to shift into the 5th deminsion, and many bad things will happen, since December 21 2012 is the Mayan Calander end-date. I did have a vision of what is supposed to happen. The world will not end, but the world as we know it today will end, and a new era of time will begin, and the survivors of the prior hardships will be left to create a new world.

But yes, I will join you in your quest for truth. I may not remeber many visions, as I get droped on my head alot being a pro-wrestler, but I will help.

 

[Master Vigil]

And it was then that the Master Vigil said... "Be like water." And the most holy of holies rained down upon the earth, bringing life. And it was good.

 

[Druidus]

An lo, Prima was seated at her slow computer and she beheld a great light! The words of Druidus shone as though on fire! And Prima spoke thus:

"Huh?"

And so it was that she became a disciple of Druidus, and the Heavens opened with a majestic

"KKKKKKrrrrrrrrrrrGgggHHHHHHyyyummmmppppoooooooott"

And the Holy Salad Dressing rained upon Prima, and again she spoke:

"Ouch! that stings!"

And behold, the infinite wisdom of Prima led her to find a bowl of salad into which to drip. And she then shared this salad, and lo! all who ate of it saw clearly visions of little bunnies eating artichokes and calling out the name of Druidus, and some who ate it found fuzzies and pieces of hair from Prima's clothing, and some refused to eat of the Holy Salad, and were thus struck down with a particularly unpleasant rainstorm of lollipops and gumdrops. And they did repent as soon as one was struck in the eye.

And rightly did Prima step into the light after applying sunscreen that smelled like bananas. And she proclaimed:

"This is all true! No, really!"

And did request to join the bunch of maniacs.

Again, I cannot annoint you, for you have been annointed by God. It is yours to be a disciple, and so, thou shallt be one. Go forth, and spread the word! You shall be known as "The Raincloud".

Will it be the new year going from 2011 to 2012? If so, that is an odd date, since the The earth is supposed to shift into the 5th deminsion, and many bad things will happen, since December 21 2012 is the Mayan Calander end-date. I did have a vision of what is supposed to happen. The world will not end, but the world as we know it today will end, and a new era of time will begin, and the survivors of the prior hardships will be left to create a new world.

But yes, I will join you in your quest for truth. I may not remeber many visions, as I get droped on my head alot being a pro-wrestler, but I will help.

Then I shall annoint you! *Annoints Luke Wolf*

You are now a disciple of Druidus, servant of God! Go forth and spread the word! You shall be known as "The Prophet".

And it was then that the Master Vigil said... "Be like water." And the most holy of holies rained down upon the earth, bringing life. And it was good.

Is this a request for disciple-hood?



(Wow, I've started my own cult, and I'm not even a legal adult! Woohoo! :woohoo: )

 

[Master Vigil]

Is this a request for disciple-hood?

HAHA... I dunno. Rather think of me as the lonely man on the mountain who spurts out gods word from time to time. No one follows me, and I don't follow. I just spurt words.