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Jokes
- Thread starter Runt
- Start date
Damori
Capricornus Bifrons
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and become a mechanic. He found out from the local technical college what was involved,signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had received a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting." The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler."
Lightkeeper
Well-Known Member
I have heard this before, but it is a very funny joke. It's high on my list of great jokes.
Damori
Capricornus Bifrons
This joke shouldn't be too bad.
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This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. There is this Huge **s jar of $10 bills on the counter so he asks the bartender what they are for. The bartender replies put $10 in and il tell you. the guy says ohh nevermind. a few drinks later he says awww ***t so he throws in $10 and asks. The bartender replies Its a contest, First you have to drink this bottle of whiskey. the bartender shows him this 2 gallon jug. the guy frown and says hey iv allready paid $10 why not? so he drinks the whole thing. after he finishes it he says is there annything else i have to do?. The bartender replies there are 2 more things: first there is this big nasty dog out back who has an ingrown tooth... you have to pull it. and second there is this 80 yr old lady upstairs that hasn't been *****d in like 40 years... lay her and the jar is yours. The guy goes AWWWWWWW ***T!! he goes nevermind i aint doin that!. a few drinks later he goes DAMN whers that dog? The bartender points twords the door and smiles as the guy walks off. all the patrons hear snarling an snapping and yelling and hollering and an ocassional OHHHHHH ***T!! 10 minutes later the guy comes out bleeding and with a ripped shirt and says ok now where is that old lady with the ingrown tooth?
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This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. There is this Huge **s jar of $10 bills on the counter so he asks the bartender what they are for. The bartender replies put $10 in and il tell you. the guy says ohh nevermind. a few drinks later he says awww ***t so he throws in $10 and asks. The bartender replies Its a contest, First you have to drink this bottle of whiskey. the bartender shows him this 2 gallon jug. the guy frown and says hey iv allready paid $10 why not? so he drinks the whole thing. after he finishes it he says is there annything else i have to do?. The bartender replies there are 2 more things: first there is this big nasty dog out back who has an ingrown tooth... you have to pull it. and second there is this 80 yr old lady upstairs that hasn't been *****d in like 40 years... lay her and the jar is yours. The guy goes AWWWWWWW ***T!! he goes nevermind i aint doin that!. a few drinks later he goes DAMN whers that dog? The bartender points twords the door and smiles as the guy walks off. all the patrons hear snarling an snapping and yelling and hollering and an ocassional OHHHHHH ***T!! 10 minutes later the guy comes out bleeding and with a ripped shirt and says ok now where is that old lady with the ingrown tooth?