Just Not Feeling it Anymore

[Gentoo]

Last night was an event that I consider my mid-summer revel. I look forward to it all year: lot of people having fun, bellydancing and drumming from dusk to dawn around the fire is a common occurance, and that is where I am. I have been known to outlast the drummers, actually dancing all night around the fire. During past events, I can feel the life of the fire, look up at the stars and as I am shimmying, losing myself in the pounding drums and the flickering fires, I can feel the presence of the gods and can dedicate my dance to them.

Last night though, it did not happen like that. I lost myself like I was expecting, but I did not feel the connection to the gods. I have been having trouble with my faith since the spring. I am not sure what to think about this. Any thoughts, words of wisdom?

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

Last night was an event that I consider my mid-summer revel. I look forward to it all year: lot of people having fun, bellydancing and drumming from dusk to dawn around the fire is a common occurance, and that is where I am. I have been known to outlast the drummers, actually dancing all night around the fire. During past events, I can feel the life of the fire, look up at the stars and as I am shimmying, losing myself in the pounding drums and the flickering fires, I can feel the presence of the gods and can dedicate my dance to them.

Last night though, it did not happen like that. I lost myself like I was expecting, but I did not feel the connection to the gods. I have been having trouble with my faith since the spring. I am not sure what to think about this. Any thoughts, words of wisdom?

Well, what did it feel like when you "lost yourself" this time?

 

[Gentoo]

The "losing myself" felt like I was expecting, a moving meditation. I'm aware, but at the same time not aware, of my physical self.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

The "losing myself" felt like I was expecting, a moving meditation. I'm aware, but at the same time not aware, of my physical self.

Hmmm (putting on my best psychologist attitude)...and how do you feel about that?
No, seriously, it is one experience in your life--although you mentioned having trouble with your faith, so maybe it's becoming a pattern. There's a thread under the Other Religious Movements and Practices DIR, in the Mysticism DIR, on the Dark Night of the Soul, that might be helpful. I'd take a look there for starters.

 

[Iti oj]

Last night was an event that I consider my mid-summer revel. I look forward to it all year: lot of people having fun, bellydancing and drumming from dusk to dawn around the fire is a common occurance, and that is where I am. I have been known to outlast the drummers, actually dancing all night around the fire. During past events, I can feel the life of the fire, look up at the stars and as I am shimmying, losing myself in the pounding drums and the flickering fires, I can feel the presence of the gods and can dedicate my dance to them.

Last night though, it did not happen like that. I lost myself like I was expecting, but I did not feel the connection to the gods. I have been having trouble with my faith since the spring. I am not sure what to think about this. Any thoughts, words of wisdom?

personally a find (neo)paganism very workable, useful, beautiful and viable from an atheistic expression.

 

[Quintessence]

Just as Moon Spirit waxes and wanes, so too does the depths of our experiences in life.

 

[Willamena]

It's more than a feeling... When I hear that old song, babe
(More than a feeling)

 

[Treks]

Have you tried recompiling your kernel? Ahahahah...

Like Quintessence said, spiritual experience waxes and wanes. One of the greatest challenges is sticking with it while the tide is out. In my experience the tide always comes back in with more clarity, realism and warmth than before. And one day, unexpectedly, it will go back out again, and you're left wet and shivering in the cold on the beach. It can make you doubt it will come back, or that perhaps this isn't the right beach anymore.

Stick with it. You're just at the blank page between chapters.

 

[The Hammer]

Last night was an event that I consider my mid-summer revel. I look forward to it all year: lot of people having fun, bellydancing and drumming from dusk to dawn around the fire is a common occurance, and that is where I am. I have been known to outlast the drummers, actually dancing all night around the fire. During past events, I can feel the life of the fire, look up at the stars and as I am shimmying, losing myself in the pounding drums and the flickering fires, I can feel the presence of the gods and can dedicate my dance to them.

Last night though, it did not happen like that. I lost myself like I was expecting, but I did not feel the connection to the gods. I have been having trouble with my faith since the spring. I am not sure what to think about this. Any thoughts, words of wisdom?

I'm glad I am not the only one feeling disconnected. I am not sure what it is lately, but I am not a fan of it. I think I just need to take a break and dedicate a chunk of my time to myself and my gods. Maybe something similar will help you.

 

[The Emperor of Mankind]

I've felt disconnect like this myself with basic ritual and its heartening to know there are people who can empathise & I can empathise with. Mostly it comes from only giving the divine conscious attention during ritual and not bothering to learn of them or anything during the day (the computer is a damned attention-Dementor).

I've found with regular basic ritual practice (e.g. daily dedications, prayers etc) comes renewed focus and a stronger sense of closeness with the divine. I'm considering taking goddess and/or god-focused meditation (depending on who I'm honouring) up as well in the near future. It's just getting into the habit that's the problem...

Maybe you could try some of these things, Gentoo?