Laffy Taffy!

[Prima]

Q - What did you discover if you find bones on the moon?

A - The cow didn't make it.


Q - What did the stand-up comedian want to be doing?

A - sitting down

:biglaugh:

Ahh, memories. Remember when those would make you laugh so hard and you'd tell them to people so much they'd beg you to shut up? Or was that just me? </nostalgia>

And by the way, doesn't Saw have the coolest sig EVAR?

*skips out*

 

[Lightkeeper]

Does the taffy mean you are pulling my leg? Yes, I remember how I laughed so hard at things like "Under The Grandstands" by Seymour Butts. If fact I still giggle because it's so lame.:biglaugh:

 

[Quoth The Raven]

Q: What's got 2 legs and bleeds?

A: Half a dog.


Q: What goes clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, bang!, clip clop, clip clop?

A: An Amish drive by shooting.

 

[Scuba Pete]

What's the first recorded Baseball game?

In the Big Inning...

How about the very first car?

The Apostles were in one Accord.

The first nursery?

Lo we shall not all sleep but we will all be changed!

 

[Yerda]

A couple of favourites as a kid.

Q) Ten cows in a field, which is closest to Saddam Hussein?

A) Coo eight.


Q) What's brown and sticky?

A) A stick. (You really had to have been there).


One my younger brother told me recently.

Q) What you call a three-legged donkey?

A) A wonkey.

 

[Scuba Pete]

If College Students Wrote the Bible

• The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning--cold.
  
• The Ten Commandments would actually be only five--double-spaced and
  written in a large font.
  
• New edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
  
• Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
  
• Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to [email protected].
  
• Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.
  
• Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
  
• Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
  

 

[Scuba Pete]

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What's wrong, Adam?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God thought for a minute and then said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be called a "woman." He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked God, "What can I get for a rib?"

And the rest is history.

 

[Scuba Pete]

We No Longer Need You

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

God listened patiently and kindly to the man and after the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man making contest."

To which the man replied, "OK, great!"

But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!"