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Life Explained

DreamQuickBook

Active Member
Got this in an email ...

"On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks by. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10?"
So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?"
And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I'll give back the other 40?"
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years."
But man said, "Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you."
 

DreamQuickBook

Active Member
Deut. 32.8 said:
Very cute.

I found it interesting that people view life in such a crappy pessimistic terms. I have really stopped playing and enjoying myself. Of course, I have no responsibilities lol. Either that makes me very smart or very selfish or very lazy... or a little bit of all three.
 

Jayhawker Soule

-- untitled --
Premium Member
It helps to have a plethora of grandkids. I've got a tough 1-on-1 soccer game with a two-year-old this weekend ...
 

Quiddity

UndertheInfluenceofGiants
Geesh Deut. why you always using fancy words like "plethora". Who uses that word? :D

~Victor
 

DreamQuickBook

Active Member
Deut. 32.8 said:
It helps to have a plethora of grandkids. I've got a tough 1-on-1 soccer game with a two-year-old this weekend ...

That's one thrill I'll go without. :) I ain't ever having kids, for a myriad of reasons, the least of which is the fact that I'm too busy enjoying my own life; yes, I'm a selfish, happy and free SOB. I find that most people are so pushy about children. People seem insulted when I mention to them that I don't intend to have them. I'll never understand that. Wow, so much so that I’m unreasonably defensive about it. *hmmm* now I'm just talking to myself. that can't be good.

:bonk:
 

johnnys4life

Pro-life Mommy
Well, since the government will take anywhere from 25% to a full half of any money you save for retirement, (probably more by the time you get old) and since most people are living long enough to where they can't take care of themselves, and since some nursing homes cost more than buying a new house every year, it just makes sense to have grandkids, or at least someone who will most likely out live you, or if not, better start saving up for that private nurse.

I do not think that I can have any more kids.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
Well, since the government will take anywhere from 25% to a full half of any money you save for retirement, (probably more by the time you get old) and since most people are living long enough to where they can't take care of themselves, and since some nursing homes cost more than buying a new house every year, it just makes sense to have grandkids, or at least someone who will most likely out live you, or if not, better start saving up for that private nurse.
Don't save money in a bank. Store it at your house under lock and key. This way the government doesn't know you have it. Also, nursing homes and everyone who supports them should be bombed. I have no respect for an establishment that by policy is negligent to thier patients. I have yet to hear of one decent nursing home. My brother's ex-girlfriend was told she couldn't be friendly to the elderly when she tried to get a job thier. My step-grandfather died of dehydration at one. And I've heard many terrible stories about them.
 
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