• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Long-Distance Love

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
One day, I got a text from her asking me whether we could hang out within the next couple of hours. She was going through a tough time and told me she wanted to clear her mind a bit. Without needing more than a minute to decide, I told her I was on my way—we lived a 90 minutes' ride apart, but it was well worth it every time.

That was just one part of our developing an increasingly strong bond in the months that followed. What started out as an almost completely random online encounter would later lead to some of the fondest memories both of us have. Before she left for her home country, we made sure to celebrate her birthday together, meet up as many times as possible, and exchange small gifts that would then sort of become souvenirs of the time when we could see each other in person.

We both planned to stay in regular contact regardless of distance, although neither of us was sure how well it would work out given that both of our lives were quite hectic at the time.

After leaving and arriving home, she texted on the same day saying, "Hey, just wanted to tell you that I love you!" And we have been in contact since, thankfully, despite our initial tentative worries that we might become too swamped to be. I still have the screenshot of that message, which she also kept, as a reminder of that day. Many things have changed in our lives since, but the only change to our relationship has been that it has grown stronger and closer.

I miss my best friend. (Just yesterday, we were talking about how we wish we could see each other again, especially during tougher times.)
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
If it's true love, you can both make it work. What is keeping you apart?

We're best friends, not romantic partners. We live in different countries at the moment and need to finish some things where we are before we can move.

A visit from either of us to the other is definitely on the table, though.
 

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
We're best friends, not romantic partners. We live in different countries at the moment and need to finish some things where we are before we can move.

A visit from either of us to the other is definitely on the table, though.
So no chance for romance? I mean, my late husband was also my best friend and lover and everything. In fact, he was like the male version of me, only better! I adored him!
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
So no chance for romance?

I doubt it. We're not into each other in that way, and neither of us is in a position to be in a stable, long-term relationship with anyone just yet, as we have other priorities that we need to take care of.

I mean, my late husband was also my best friend and lover and everything. In fact, he was like the male version of me, only better! I adored him!

That sounds wonderful! I think the ideal relationship would be one where the couple were also best friends.

I'm sorry for your loss.
 

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I doubt it. We're not into each other in that way, and neither of us is in a position to be in a stable, long-term relationship with anyone just yet, as we have other priorities that we need to take care of.
So how would you feel if she truly fell for someone else?
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
So what if her lover felt threatened by your friendship with her?

I think she would talk to him about it and ask him why. All of her partners have had female friends, though, and she has been okay with that. Similarly, none of them have had issues with her male friends, and she wouldn't even be with someone who asked her to cut off her male best friends in the first place.
 

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I think she would talk to him about it and ask him why. All of her partners have had female friends, though, and she has been okay with that. Similarly, none of them have had issues with her male friends, and she wouldn't even be with someone who asked her to cut off her male best friends in the first place.
OK, if you say so.
 

JustGeorge

Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Thanks for sharing this story. Friendships like that are a true treasure.

I remember reading about 'anam cara', or 'soul friend' in Celtic traditions. I think its hard to grasp until you've actually found a friendship like that. The term is not typically indicating a romantic relationship, but a very strong friendship in which the bonds are stronger than even a best friendship.

I'm glad you have this person in your life, and I hope you always do. :)
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
One day, I got a text from her asking me whether we could hang out within the next couple of hours. She was going through a tough time and told me she wanted to clear her mind a bit. Without needing more than a minute to decide, I told her I was on my way—we lived a 90 minutes' ride apart, but it was well worth it every time.

That was just one part of our developing an increasingly strong bond in the months that followed. What started out as an almost completely random online encounter would later lead to some of the fondest memories both of us have. Before she left for her home country, we made sure to celebrate her birthday together, meet up as many times as possible, and exchange small gifts that would then sort of become souvenirs of the time when we could see each other in person.

We both planned to stay in regular contact regardless of distance, although neither of us was sure how well it would work out given that both of our lives were quite hectic at the time.

After leaving and arriving home, she texted on the same day saying, "Hey, just wanted to tell you that I love you!" And we have been in contact since, thankfully, despite our initial tentative worries that we might become too swamped to be. I still have the screenshot of that message, which she also kept, as a reminder of that day. Many things have changed in our lives since, but the only change to our relationship has been that it has grown stronger and closer.

I miss my best friend. (Just yesterday, we were talking about how we wish we could see each other again, especially during tougher times.)

Don't you just love good friends. I hope you are able to meet up again sometime.

Do you think there is a chance that it could develop?
 
Last edited:

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
Thanks for sharing this story. Friendships like that are a true treasure.

I remember reading about 'anam cara', or 'soul friend' in Celtic traditions. I think its hard to grasp until you've actually found a friendship like that. The term is not typically indicating a romantic relationship, but a very strong friendship in which the bonds are stronger than even a best friendship.

That sounds like a beautiful concept! I love it. Yes, I think that kind of friendship has to be experienced to be fully understood.

I'm glad you have this person in your life, and I hope you always do. :)

Thank you!
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
Don't you just love good friends. I hope you are able to meet up again sometime.

Thanks! She wanted to visit this summer but couldn't. I'm hoping I can visit her at some point instead.

Do you think there is a chance that it could develop?

You mean into a romance? I highly doubt it, as I said in post #5. We're more like siblings from different parents. :D
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Thanks! She wanted to visit this summer but couldn't. I'm hoping I can visit her at some point instead.

Make it so.

You mean into a romance? I highly doubt it, as I said in post #5. We're more like siblings from different parents

Shame, you need a good woman in your life.

Are you sure it's just platonic love?
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
Make it so.

I'm working on it!

Shame, you need a good woman in your life.

Thankfully, I do have a good number of amazing women in my life. A few of them (including my best friend) are very close friends and have been for years now—and of course, I can't neglect to include my mom among the best women I have ever known!
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
I'm working on it!



Thankfully, I do have a good number of amazing women in my life. A few of them (including my best friend) are very close friends and have been for years now—and of course, I can't neglect to include my mom among the best women I have ever known!

I edited my previous post while you we're writing your reply
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
I edited my previous post while you we're writing your reply

Are you sure it's just platonic love?

Yep. We've been friends for years, during which she has dated more than once. I also almost got into a relationship both last year and months ago, with two different people, but we decided it wouldn't work due to certain issues (e.g., distance and their families' almost certainly cutting them off if they married someone of a different religion than their families').

My best friend and I have previously talked openly about why we wouldn't be compatible as a couple, despite being so close as friends, so we mutually understand that nothing else is going on.

That said, I'm pretty sure we've been mistaken for a couple in public before, like when we were having ice cream together for her birthday. :p
 
Top