Making big decisions

[Phasmid]

Basically, I had/have to make a choice between continuing my studies here, or going to a university closer to home and moving in with friends.

I hated being here when I first arrived. So I planned on moving to another city with my friends in the belief that I'd be happier close to friends and family.

Well, today I felt happy... I realised that my problems were my own fault. It had nothing to do with where I was living. I just need to force myself to be a bit more social and to control my drinking when I'm out.

So I just broke the news of my decision to the friend I'd be living with. I've inconvenienced him and all the organisations and people involved with university placements so I feel quite guilty.

But worse than that... I suddenly feel isolated again. Today I felt happy and could see my future here. But now that I've made my decision to stay and effectively declined my place at the other university... I feel like I'm alone.

I don't know why though... I'm in the same situation, I've just made the decision to carry on with what I'm doing now. Just seems... odd... and it's quite disturbing.

Anyone else had this?

I guess it's because I'm putting my trust in myself for once; not in someone else.

 

[Don Penguinoini]

Well, if you ask me, which study environment would you have done better at?

 

[3.14]

to cure your alone feelings
YouTube - Every Sperm is Sacred {Monty Python's Meaning of Life}
to get you motivated
YouTube - Eye of the Tiger lyrics
and to relieve you of stress
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5zAym2bJQ

 

[verecund]

I know exactly how you feel.
You shut a door. You're kind of trapped-- before, you had options, but now you're "stuck" somewhere. Even though you decided to stay because you were happy, you're scared it wasn't the right choice. It's kind of a "the grass is greener on the other side" situation. Do you know what I mean?

I've gone through similar things. I chose to go to a school I didn't like. I dropped out of school. I had the choice to live with a roommate I loved living with-- or move to a new city alone. That last one, especially, I think fits in with what you're going through. I think no matter what I chose, I wouldn't have been fully happy.

It's like skydiving:
It's something you've always wanted to do, and you're so excited, you've been looking forward to it for months. But then you're in the plane. You have the parachute strapped to your back, the door is open, and you're looking at the ground. That jump is terrifying. And you'd be so much happier if you never got on that plane. You have to jump, you made this choice, you gotta do it... so you jump. And it's terrifying. And you think that maybe you're going to die. A couple minutes later, you're on the ground saying, "That. Was. AWESOME." Gotta go for the ride.

 

[whereismynotecard]

I find big decisions are best made quickly and without thought. Otherwise you'll be afraid to do new stuff. You could think of the pros and cons of jumping out of a plane (with a parachute) and then maybe not do it... or you could just do it. If you make your decisions quickly and without thought, you'll have much more interesting stories to tell later.