Inspired by a recent discussion here.
What exactly IS masculinity? What makes a 'person', "masculine"?
Feminine?
What exactly IS masculinity? What makes a 'person', "masculine"?
Feminine?
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Masculinity
- Thread starter The Hammer
- Start date
I think sometimes you can try to put words on something... yet it doesn't work right. I feel this is one of these cases.
I could go stereotypical and say masculinity is strong, and femininity sweet, but that's not accurate. I know strong feminine people, and sweet masculine people. (And I know people who are masculine and not strong, and people that are feminine and not sweet.) Rather, I think they're qualities of being that people have. Often, it matches their gender, but sometimes it does not(and that's okay). Some people have a blend of both that makes it difficult to label them as one or the other(that's fine, too).
I guess all in all, I'd say its the way a person interacts with the world; their collection of gestures, facial expressions, humor, movements and impulses. Masculinity and femininity are just poles of this mode of being we all have.
You gotta be...
QuestioningMind
Well-Known Member
They are basically useless terms in my opinion, nothing more than an attempt to categorize behaviors/responses that are universal to all human beings as being either acceptable or unacceptable for members of one sex or the other.
Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
The beard. Definitely the beer..er. beard.
Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
Ironically I’ve seen people accuse both Nazis and Neo Nazis (in particular) of having very toxic masculinity.
My history teacher called the Allies the “lesser of two evils” lol
A very insightful post, in my opinion. Outside of the gross physical manifestations of biological gender (I got this, you got that), there is nothing else that any human can have that another human, of another gender, cannot. To what degree isn't important. Mothers can be "maternal," but how is maternal different from "paternal?" Both are about caring for an nurturing children. Men can be courageous and strong -- and so can women. Women can be emotional and verbal -- and so can men. Men are usually bigger, but many women are bigger than many men. Men can be decisive managers, but I've known women who could be more so, and I've known men who dither endlessly.
Okay, that was good lol
What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails,
And puppy-dogs' tails.
That's what little boys are made of!
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And everything nice. (Someone also sing "all things nice")
That's what little girls are made of!
--https://www.nurseryrhymes.org/what-are-little-boys-made-of.html#:~:text=boys%20made%20of%3F-,What%20are%20little%20boys%20made%20of%3F,little%20boys%20are%20made%20of!
The relationship is very mysterious, however you can count upon these things in the rhyme. What keeps the girls interested in the boys but also repulsed by them? The snips and snails and puppy dog tails. Similarly what keeps the boys interested and repulsed are sugar, spice and everything nice. But what is the masculine? That can only be measured with multiple devices. Its more than just how we court and how we react to girls.
A man has to learn to accept that he is good enough, or his psychology and biology will drive him to self destruct. We are hard wired to throw ourselves away when we feel like we don't measure up. You can say its an evolutionary mechanism or not, but its how men feel. We want to matter. We try to build things and to last forever and to live through memory and glory. If we can die in the service of some permanent cause we are satisfied to do it, and for the first part of our lives we don't understand the value of our own lives. Men are known to go through something called the mid life crisis. This is a masculine thing that happens, but it isn't limited only to one time in our lives. What happens at mid life is that we begin to understand both the value of our lives and the lost potential of our youth. We go through a biological change in which we begin to understand ourselves better. Sometimes it hits us very hard in mid life just how little we have accomplished, but the self judgment is always there and is not only a mid life occurence. There is always that drive to die if we don't matter enough. There is always a need to justify our existence.
That being said a man can simply choose to accept that his life is enough. That is something a father should pass on to his son or a mother to her son. It is a great gift if a masculine man can simply trust that life is enough.
I say if the smallest life doesn't matter than neither does the greatest. If just breathing has no value, then what is the value of him that defends my right to breath? So the hero only has value if the weak man he defends has value, too. That is the secret of real masculinity: be reliable, be strong, be prepared, but accept that you are valuable without these things.
spiritual5142
Member
Testosterone causes increased strength, reflexes, increased aggressivity and dominance seeking behaviour. I mean this is like that in all high mammals. It isn't really complicated but since in our current society we lack appropriate conditions for masculinity we have forgotten about our great heritage. Nature created the man as the apex predator.
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Viker
Your beloved eccentric Auntie Cristal
Those guys were never who you think they were. They were products of a male dominant culture, but they weren't the Hollywood cookie cutter though guys. They were soldiers who beat the **** out of toxic masculinity (Nazism).
Yeah, although terms like "toxic masculinity" didn't really even exist back then.
Orbit
I'm a planet
Men are not better at science and art, women were prohibited from practicing those vocations, and when they did their work was attributed to men. Do some reading.
spiritual5142
Member
I was thinking about this today, with recent discussions about gender and identity. I remembered the uproar when Kurt Cobain wore a dress on stage for some concerts. He was a masculine symbol for many young guys and Kurt was a rebel. Did the dress change anything? No. Only the impressions of some folks who looked at him in some ideal form.
Proves nothing.