cfer
Active Member
I figured everyone could use these on a Monday morning. Enjoy!
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An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asks.
She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."
He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
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+ I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
+ If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
+ Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
+ Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
+ Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.
+ Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
+ If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
+ Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
+ Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
+ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
+ By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
======================
Here's wishing you all a great week!!!
:bonk:
===========================
An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asks.
She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."
He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
---------------
+ I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
+ If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
+ Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
+ Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
+ Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.
+ Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
+ If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
+ Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
+ Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
+ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
+ By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
======================
Here's wishing you all a great week!!!
:bonk:
