My religious "experience" in extensive detail

[Neale]

Over the course of the past month or so, I've been "searching" for any sign of religious or philosophical umph that would sway me to dedicate in a particular direction. I decided last night that I would "open my mind" and take an easy path for a introspective, religious experience - psychotropics. Don't write me off just yet, . Here's what happened:

Before I began my "journey," I prayed, to no diety in particular, for about five minutes on the subject of personal, religious enlightenment and revelation. After dosing, I sat on my couch, comfortable and relaxed. I had soft, downtempo music (Zero 7) playing through my surround sound, and had a few candles lit. As thoughts came to me, I disregarded them and didn't muse on any one particular aspect. I simply "was."

I began to feel the psychotropic effects after about three minutes: my arms and legs began tingling, and I felt a slight pressure on my forehead, between my eyes. My eyes still closed, I began to "feel" vibrations of the sound, and was extrasensitive to temperature, sound, smell, my heartbeat, breathing, etc. The candlelight was beginning to become "clearer," and lingered in my closed-eye perception for longer than the normal light flicker. I controlled my breathing, as I could feel my heartbeat speed up slightly; I slowed it back down. I felt "in tune," as generic as that sounds. I then began to "hear" what I perceived as female voice in a conscious sense. I wasn't prepaired to experience what followed:

"I'm here. Open your eyes," I vividly heard, as if someone was physically there sitting opposite of me - this I remember most clearly because it really disturbed me for a moment before feeling solaced. I don't think I physically opened my eyes, but I willed it - and saw the room in which I was sitting in distorted reality: colors were more vivid, the candlelight appeared "fluid" and radiated slowly around the room. I could perceive how every photon of light reflected from every fiber of carpet, couch, and off the objects on the table. I felt a strong, warm breeze as I "opened my eyes," but I didn't actually open my eyes at this point - I remember this, and remember feeling absolutely "connected" to everything. The feeling didn't last long, it was almost as if I just blinked my eyes open, and then shut them again. *note: again, I never really opened my eyes at this point*

Without conscious direction, I felt compelled to extend my hands directly in front of me. I felt a warm touch, cupping both of my hands and pushing them together in a slight lifting motion. I instantly withdrew and was slightly terrified. I opened my eyes, and saw nothing but a bright light before making out that the candlelight was flickering very quickly, and seemed to be dimmer than I saw previously. At this point, I focused on listening for the voice again. I closed my eyes again, and sat for a few moments. "Go outside," I heard. (continued on next post...)

 

[Neale]

I stood up from the couch, looking around for a jacket and sandals. I must have stood still and looked around the room for a full minute (which seemed much, much longer than it actually was). I turned about 45 degrees towards the door and felt compelled to walk towards it - dispite me being in a t-shirt and lounge pants. For some reason, I knew it was snowing outside without having to check - my blinds were closed. Everytime I heard the voice, I was slightly more freaked out than the last time, but felt solaced quickly.

"Go." I felt a slight push from the direction which the voice seemed to come, as is someone was nudging my back. I opened the door and stood on my patio, bare feet, and felt compelled to look upwards towards the stars - I saw very many more than usual, dispite it being a not-so-clear night. I seemingly "saw through" the clouds. I wasn't cold. I couldn't feel the snow, but rather felt a warm wind which seemed to "circle" the area in which I was standing. I saw it's movement, I could feel the warm air being inhaled and circulating through my body. I closed my eyes a moment, and felt complete comfort and smiled. "Go inside," I heard from DIRECTLY in front of me, as if someone was less than an inch from my face - I could feel the breath, but didn't open my eyes.

Simply turning around, I opened my eyes and walked back into my place. I sat down again on the couch, and felt the warm breeze again. I closed my eyes and felt my entire body tingling, as if it was radiating it's own warmth in tandem with the rhythm of the breeze I felt. Opening my eyes, I clearly saw that there was a swirling mist of "warmness" enveloping my whole body. I stood up and looked at my hands. As my whole body was tingling at this point, I felt compelled to lay down on the couch. I was going to fall asleep soon, I knew it, so I simply rode that out. As I was falling asleep, I felt a warm hand running through my hair, and I smiled.

That's it. I woke up this morning and felt great! Thanks for sharing that with me.

 

[doppelganger]

Thanks, Neale, that was really very interesting. I'm of the opinion that there is something incredibly important to learn about why psychtropics are a doorway to spiritual experiences that could shed light on the nature of consciousness and identity.

 

[Neale]

...there is something incredibly important to learn about why psychtropics are a doorway to spiritual experiences...

Oh, absolutely! I believe that psychotropics foricibly open channels of consciousness that we possess innately, but do not cultivate on a regular basis, much like the trance-like meditative states some Buddhist monk can initiate at will after decades of daily practice.

Our perception of this reality has been cultivated for us from day one through our own subjective sense-data (a la Bertrand Russell's model in Problems of Philosophy), being constrained by social stigma. Altering or "softening" that world makes us more receptive to other modes of thought - i.e. other realities.

So how do I know the experience I had last night was "genuine?" I experienced it: and that's what matters. That logic is fundementally at the core of most world religions. Visions, heavenly visits (cp. nearly every world religion), trances, out-of-body experiences, etc. are all valid because they are subjectively experienced - regardless of the vehicle and the path, the end result is the same across all levels.

 

[Hirohito18200]

My interest has definitely been piqued by this narrative; thanks for sharing!

Despite being an atheistic-leaning agnostic, I don't try to confront personal spiritual experiences or dispute their validity. However, rarely are they so thoroughly documented and pleasantly presented. Awesome post!

Onto more research!

*edit* Funny how when I copied "Psychotropic" into Google, I was slammed with 3.5 million anti-drug pages.

 

[doppelganger]

So how do I know the experience I had last night was "genuine?" I experienced it: and that's what matters. That logic is fundementally at the core of most world religions. Visions, heavenly visits (cp. nearly every world religion), trances, out-of-body experiences, etc. are all valid because they are subjectively experienced - regardless of the vehicle and the path, the end result is the same across all levels.

It's when the interpretation of those experiences comes into play that the problems start.