That's interesting. And thought provoking because my friends and I graduated high school and a few months later were roommates. I can't say they all felt unloved by their parents, we just all wanted out. Freedom for ourselves, independence from others, basically the ideals that drive our isolation from each as we become more individualized and have less community as a result (it is much easier to push individuals around than it is a group of them).
I suppose it does ultimately come down to cultural ideas of what is community vs individuality and how important each is to the person/community as a whole.
In Indian culture (generally speaking, this will obviously differ for many) personal responsibility is seen as a very important attribute. Getting a job, furthering one’s studies and generally doing things that will benefit one’s community. So in a sense, a great emphasis is placed on community and how one can benefit it as a whole. Even as one tries to make personal achievements in life.
Get a good paying job? Great, your parents could do with a bit of help with the bills!
Got a great academic achievement? Great! Your community could do with some public pride!
Became a self made millionaire? Great, your local charity halls could do with a cash boost!
That mindset is driven into us by well meaning aunties from the time we can walk lol
A little bit of leeway is given to kids just entering adulthood to “mess around” of course.
(Honestly probably moreso in “Western countries” ngl lol)
But one’s pursuits should also be done to benefit not only oneself but their family. Always. The family benefits come first
Helping your parents pay the mortgage, buying some groceries every once in a while, indeed helping them as they enter old age and any medical issues they may face etc
Perhaps some of that does come from having the “immigration” background as it were. Helping your parents in a strange foreign country and “not abandoning” them as soon as you hit 18 like one’s peers. But as I understand it, staying in a multigenerational household is a strong holdover from our cultural background as well. So idk
And I wouldn’t take the “unloved” comment too seriously. Nanis be Nanis lol
Indeed they probably were just flabbergasted at the (to be fair joking) way Australian parents here celebrate their kids’ turning 18 by planning their moving out arrangements beforehand. Often jokingly telling their kids that “as soon as you’re 18, you’re out the door, kid!!”
Which, as you can imagine, was often quite shocking for little old Indian ladies to hear lol
