need advice about celibacy

[satyaroop]

However, I know a very attractive girl about my age and I think she is also attracted to me

you think she is attracted to you? better not to rely on such assumptions.

 

[WonderWho]

You may find this thread useful.


http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/hinduism-dir/155238-brahmacharya.html

 

[Aupmanyav]

I do listen a bit to Ravi Shankar and similar artists, but I don't see how that matters? please explain

I was trying to interest you in Indian music. People generally miss on it these days. Vocal or instrumental, it is divine.

you think she is attracted to you? better not to rely on such assumptions.

What even if she is interested in you? She may be around 16 to 18. She also needs to concentrate on studies. What if your family or hers do not approve of the union? Both of you might be making a mistake. Don't you want to be a good provider for your family? Wait, all things in their own time.

 

[George-ananda]

Brahmacharya is best but I think it's more in the mind than in the actions. You should work to remove lustful thoughts by not letting the seed sprout. This is tough mental work. The end goal is not so much 'restraint' as it is 'disinterest' because of focus on a higher goal of Brahma-realization.

Brahmacharya was probably easier in older Indian society that promoted and respected the tradition than it is in modern western society that concerns itself with the physical and doesn't even have the concept of Brahma-realization.

If you are spiritually inclined I say take the high path and remain Brahmacharya and avoid things that promote lustful thoughts in the mind. Lust if allowed and promoted in your mind will really only bring you misery; any satisfaction will be only short-lived and the desire will only return stronger.

However if you can't be ideal sexually at least keep your behavior as controlled as possible while not forgetting your end goal is Brahma-realization..

 

[George-ananda]

This is another troll, probably the same one as before.
It is way to explicit to be a serious question about celibacy.

Maya

I have this troll concern too as some of the OP was worded rather explicitly for a spiritual person.

But I gave a serious answer hoping others may be interested (even if the OP was or wasn't sincere).

 

[anadi]

you think she is attracted to you? better not to rely on such assumptions.

Trust me, it's quite obvious

I was trying to interest you in Indian music. People generally miss on it these days. Vocal or instrumental, it is divine.What even if she is interested in you? She may be around 16 to 18. She also needs to concentrate on studies. What if your family or hers do not approve of the union? Both of you might be making a mistake. Don't you want to be a good provider for your family? Wait, all things in their own time.

this is actually going a bit in another direction. Maybe I should have mentioned that I'm from Europe living amongst mostly atheists, not in a traditional Hindu society. So your advice is a bit out of context. I was actually just interested in how desire and lust evolves, if anybody has any experience with such matters.

The main thing I wanted to know is this:
Does experiencing sexual pleasure make it more difficult to control?
or is it easier to know what your giving up after you've had an experience, and then decide to be celibate?

so far I still can't decide, maybe it's just too personal and other poeple's advice isn't even that helpful...

 

[Aupmanyav]

Is the girl from Hindu tradition = marriage till death do us apart?

Yes, IMHO it makes it more difficult. That is true of all material pleasures. Yes, it will be your decision.

 

[Vinayaka]

Does experiencing sexual pleasure make it more difficult to control?

Yes. True for a lot more than this. The taste of mangoes, cigarettes, swimming, going to movies, good food, giving compliments, speaking harshly ...

 

[ShivaFan]

Brahmacharya will increase the "speed of signals" in your brain power and intellect. That is why, when you are a student, and especially a student of a Master, Guru etc. in Vedas, you must have that brain power.

I would advise against willy nilly nobbing in this day and age of STDs and AIDS. It will be your death sentence.

Om Namah Sivaya

 

[anadi]

thank you all for your help