DeepShadow
White Crow
I am on the edge of being published, and I've got a dilemma. Up until now, I've used a pen name for many of my unpublished or web-published writing projects. I've used it for a number of different reasons, chiefly being the need to distance myself from criticism. That may seem strange, but I have social anxiety disorder (social phobia), and while my condition is now mostly under control, I still have severe anxiety episodes and panic attacks. About a week ago I had a severe anxiety episodes, and it started with reading someone's criticisms of a fellow author.
On the other hand, a great deal of coping with social phobia is in not giving it place in my life. My journey into control of my condition included the milestones of no longer making decisions based on my phobias, and finally ceasing to define myself in terms of my condition. Discarding old crutches like my pen name are part of remaining in control of my episodes.
There are other reasons for and against, of course: several people who like my work have suggested I keep the pen name for privacy's sake after my work becomes more well known. Privacy is an issue for everyone, regardless of any anxiety disorders. Others have said they like the ring of my pen name more than my given name. I can't argue; that's part of why I picked it!
On the other hand, many people who are interested in my work--especially acquaintances of my parents and friends of friends--are not aware of my pen name, and when they ask about my book, we'll have to tell or remind them that it's not under my name. This also means that no one who knows me will just pick my book up off the shelf because they saw my name, and when they show other people my book, they'll have to say, "Yes, that's really him, he just wrote under another name."
I suppose it would be possible to discuss this without actually knowing the names, but for the sake of comparison I'll reveal them. Some of you know my real name, and it's possible to find here on the site, but I'd like to hear which you like better before you know which is which.
So what should it be? "Leyshon Campbell" or "Matthew Barrett"?
On the other hand, a great deal of coping with social phobia is in not giving it place in my life. My journey into control of my condition included the milestones of no longer making decisions based on my phobias, and finally ceasing to define myself in terms of my condition. Discarding old crutches like my pen name are part of remaining in control of my episodes.
There are other reasons for and against, of course: several people who like my work have suggested I keep the pen name for privacy's sake after my work becomes more well known. Privacy is an issue for everyone, regardless of any anxiety disorders. Others have said they like the ring of my pen name more than my given name. I can't argue; that's part of why I picked it!
On the other hand, many people who are interested in my work--especially acquaintances of my parents and friends of friends--are not aware of my pen name, and when they ask about my book, we'll have to tell or remind them that it's not under my name. This also means that no one who knows me will just pick my book up off the shelf because they saw my name, and when they show other people my book, they'll have to say, "Yes, that's really him, he just wrote under another name."
I suppose it would be possible to discuss this without actually knowing the names, but for the sake of comparison I'll reveal them. Some of you know my real name, and it's possible to find here on the site, but I'd like to hear which you like better before you know which is which.
So what should it be? "Leyshon Campbell" or "Matthew Barrett"?
