Neeyin's journal of many things

[Nyingjé Tso]

Mostly random stuff, I guess.

Life, practice, spiritual path... I live nearby my monastery. But in daily life it can be lonely. Not many Bönpos around here... I could get along with Buddhists and Hindus, but there are none around either. Whenever I visit my monastery is a great joy then.

A lot happened, a lot is happening and a lot will keep happening, but I'm okay. I don't know where I am going, but it doesn't matter: I am learning to enjoy the ride. It's a nice stroll when we pay attention to our surroundings.

I've had mixed reaction from my surroundings since coming out as a Bönpo. From indifference to rejection, or incomprehension. "Fake religion", "primitive stone worshippers", "Just Buddhism with extra steps" ... I think I understand how pagans feel now. Still I'm happy Bönpos can practice in the open again, that efforts to pick up and rediscover what was lost is ongoing, despite the discrimination that is still too set in Tibetan culture.
Yet I've never seen any of my teachers show any kind of animosity toward Buddhists. They recognize Shakyamuni as a Buddha. Not "their" Buddha, but a Buddha nonetheless. Not an "inferior" Buddha, a fully accomplished one. Just because it isn't a Bön Buddha doesn't mean he's not to be respected. There's even a Shakyamuni statue in the garden of my monastery.
And yet again, most of the time when in Buddhists talks when the subject of the Bön Buddha is talked about... It's a fake Buddha, an inferior one, never existed, etc...
Somehow it makes me sad. But it's okay. I will smile, wish them well, keep on going.

I keep in mind what my teacher says

"you have to keep in mind the basics: the ten virtuous actions, the ngondro. We shouldn't just do it once, we should always keep those constantly in mind. Because we have to always know what we are doing and where we are going. Sometimes people expect things from practice, like happiness. But they don't investigate the source of their unhappiness. What is practice good for then in this case ?"

I am happy to be on a peaceful path. An ancient path. And I'll be content practicing for the good of every sentient beings. When I practice and dedicate the fruits, I will not think of my fellow Bönpos. I will think of everyone. There should be no condition of origin, skin color or religion. Everyone deserves happiness.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

I'm always always busy
There's my full-time job that is very demanding. There's also my little shop I opened online and have to manage. There's also the community management work I do for a local association. Then there's also all the housework to do.

I feel like there's no time to properly sit and practice in a formal way. But then, I don't really need to sit and practice in a formal way. I just need to practice.

Every moment is an opportunity to stop and reflect. Every event happening is a chance to practice equanimity and reflect on my thoughts and feelings towards that event. I miss going to the monastery but I am glad to be able to bring every aspect of daily life into practice. However hard it might be sometimes.

Many times I've heard people say that the path of a lay practitioner is harder than the one of a monk, now I completely agree.

I hope the next Tsok celebration falls on a weekend so I can go have the ritual feast with my sangha and teachers

The other day I saw a Japanese temple have set up a Livestream. It's filming the beautiful Buddha statue when nothing is going on, then filming the daily recitations and rituals when they happen. I'd like to do something like that someday.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

Soul retrieval ritual today with another teacher... It's my first one, I'm a bit nervous @_@
But it's okay, I am where I am supposed to be. And it's fortunate.
I hope to learn a lot today <3

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

We are fortunate to have an Amchi, a traditional healer, come to the monastery once a year. So once a year I come for consultation, and kunye.

Kunye is like a traditional medicinal massage. With herbs, oils and other things like burning moxa on the energy points of the skin etc... Depending on how bad the body energy state is. It's part of sowa rigpa, ancient Tibetan traditional medecine.

Anyway I go see Amchi every year now. The first year I went not expecting much, I still ended up surprised. He did moxa on specific points, and the one related to the reproductive system health reacted differently. He didn't say a thing, went to get specific herbs and oils, then advised me to drink a lot of warm water and see a specialist doctor. After that, my horrible hemorrhagic periods suddenly went back to normal. I went to see a specialist. Uncovered a cluster of tumors there.

Since then I go see Amchi every year. Every time I'm so grateful for him to come to the monastery for everyone.

This year he didn't say a thing and did the consultation then kunye. But this time he ended up asking. So I told him about the tumors, the emergency surgery I had to go through because of the horrific blood loss, the fact that I will have to go through it all over again because tumors regrow with time ... He just nodded and went to fetch some different herbs and oils for the healing.

I was laying down half hopeful that his kunye would do something, anything, like last time. But I had deep down no illusion that herbs and energy points harmonizing would do much against tumors. At the end he just gently put his warm hands on my cheeks and just stayed like this. I don't know to this day if any kind of magic or not was involved, but I felt such a deep, fatherly love. Both very strong and very gentle, a wave of pure, unconditional compassion.

I left his practice with tumors intact. But my mind different, lighter. Like he removed a lot of burden just with this moment.

Since then I wonder how the world would be different if we were all able to do this magic too. This ability to reach to someone so deeply without needing words. Just to extend sincere love, compassion, empathy without judgement. Being here for each other, for real. Effortlessly. Just these warms hands on my cheeks and this compassionate feeling, presence, helped ease so many things in my mind that no amount of medecine or doctor visits will ever do. It's so simple. Why do we always all focus on what we hate about each other whereas it would be so much easier to love and relate ?

I see the specialist in January for the follow up. Depending on how much the tumors have regrown, we'll be discussing hysterectomy. But it's okay. I've made peace with that.

And next year I will go see the Amchi again. Someday I will become like him. Not a traditional tibetan medecine doctor. But a source of help, relief. A refuge.

 

[JustGeorge]

And next year I will go see the Amchi again. Someday I will become like him. Not a traditional tibetan medecine doctor. But a source of help, relief. A refuge.

Thank you for aspiring to this; this is what we(the world)needs.

Thanks for sharing your story with the Amchi.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

Thank you for aspiring to this; this is what we(the world)needs.

The most beautiful thing is that we all, without exception, have the ability and free will to become what the world needs most.

The saddest thing is that every day we choose, more or less consciously not to be.

The realization I had just with those hands on my cheeks is that we can learn to pay attention and become that most beautiful thing the world need.

You don't need an incredible enlightening moment or magic powers or the blessings of any entity for that. It's something that is already in us. Innate.