New Proof the Virgin Mary was an Alien from Outer Space!

[Sunstone]

(1) The Virgin Mary is often called, "The Queen of Heaven". (2) The heavens are where the Space Aliens are from. Coincidence? Sure, you can say it's a coincidence, but what are the mathematical odds that those two particular facts would appear next to each other in the very same paragraph? It's like, no way, man! Any math scientist will tell you the odds are, like, astronomical. So, it's impossible for those two facts to have appeared next to each other IN THE VERY SAME PARAGRAPH unless it's true that the Virgin Mary was a space alien.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Source?

 

[McBell]

Source?

 

[Iti oj]

Source?

Um the alien overlords we call god duhh

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Um the alien overlords we call god duhh

They don't have scripture?

 

[Kilgore Trout]

(1) The Virgin Mary is often called, "The Queen of Heaven". (2) The heavens are where the Space Aliens are from. Coincidence? Sure, you can say it's a coincidence, but what are the mathematical odds that those two particular facts would appear next to each other in the very same paragraph? It's like, no way, man! Any math scientist will tell you the odds are, like, astronomical. So, it's impossible for those two facts to have appeared next to each other IN THE VERY SAME PARAGRAPH unless it's true that the Virgin Mary was a space alien.

This theory is supported by the fact that Mary often appears on objects, such as toasted bread. Who else but a Space Alien could have the power or technology to make themselves appear on a piece of toasted bread? No one from this planet. Check, and mate.

 

[Poeticus]

This theory is supported by the fact that Mary often appears on objects, such as toasted bread.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

This theory is supported by the fact that Mary often appears on objects, such as toasted bread. Who else but a Space Alien could have the power or technology to make themselves appear on a piece of toasted bread? No one from this planet. Check, and mate.

But how do you know it is Mary appearing on the toasted bread and not Satan the Great dragon and deciever tempting uneducated people into false worship?!?!
HE. IS. EVERYWHERE

 

[Poeticus]

Satan's above me^^

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Satan's above me^^

Please do not derail this important thread with your insults, toast worshipper!

 

[Kilgore Trout]

But how do you know it is Mary appearing on the toasted bread and not Satan the Great dragon and deciever tempting uneducated people into false worship?!?!
HE. IS. EVERYWHERE

Satan only appears on baguettes.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Satan only appears on baguettes.

Satan is a FIREY demon who tortures people with FIRE, therefore he appears on toast to create great confusion and mislead the world into worshipping toast and committing idolatry

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Satan is a FIREY demon who tortures people with FIRE, therefore he appears on toast to create great confusion and mislead the world into worshipping toast and committing idolatry

Yes, but butter is churned by cherubs in heaven, so their angelic influence consecrates the toast.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Yes, but butter is churned by cherubs in heaven, so their angelic influence consecrates the toast.

Oh Kilgore, seriously? When have you even seen a buttered virgin mary toast? As soon as someone discovers a satanic toast they take a picture and upload in on instagram, FB and tumblr. Some are even featured on the news thinking they have have witnessed a great miracle. Satan suprises people with the virgin mary toast so they will no longer desire to butter and eat the toast, but preserve the toast for as long as possible. There by worshipping the toast and committing a grave sin that they will surely burn in the 6th level of hell for.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Oh Kilgore, seriously? When have you even seen a buttered virgin mary toast? As soon as someone discovers a satanic toast they take a picture and upload in on instagram, FB and tumblr. Some are even featured on the news thinking they have have witnessed a great miracle. Satan suprises people with the virgin mary toast so they will no longer desire to butter and eat the toast, but preserve the toast for as long as possible. There by worshipping the toast and committing a grave sin that they will surely burn in the 6th level of hell for.

I feel so dirty, and deceived. I had two pieces of toast just this morning. Oh god. My soul is lost. Yet, my stomach is full. Help me, god.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I feel so dirty, and deceived. I had two pieces of toast just this morning. Oh god. My soul is lost. Yet, my stomach is full. Help me, god.

But was it a Virgin Mary or Jesus toast!?

 

[Kilgore Trout]

But was it a Virgin Mary or Jesus toast!?

I don't even know. I didn't even look at it. I just ate it. How could I have been so stupid?

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I don't even know. I didn't even look at it. I just ate it. How could I have been so stupid?

It's ok Kilgore because you didn't look at it therefore turning away from the devil and not looking on unclean things with curiosity and admiration you have done a good deed and the kingdom of heaven layth in your path.

Just to be sure though give all of your money to Epiphany so they can pray for you

[youtube]sA21kAovan0[/youtube]
Absolutely Fabulous - YouTube

 

[McBell]

Oh Kilgore, seriously? When have you even seen a buttered virgin mary toast? As soon as someone discovers a satanic toast they take a picture and upload in on instagram, FB and tumblr. Some are even featured on the news thinking they have have witnessed a great miracle. Satan suprises people with the virgin mary toast so they will no longer desire to butter and eat the toast, but preserve the toast for as long as possible. There by worshipping the toast and committing a grave sin that they will surely burn in the 6th level of hell for.

If ya'll are gonna be talking about buttering virgins, this thread should be moved to the Eros Room....