Oh you feel bad? Well cheer up - everything's fine

[Shushersbedamned]

I make a man feel bad if I tell him I feel bad and once I've told him why I feel bad he says a word or two and then he expects the matter and the feeling are done away with.

Am i then to pretend to feel better so as not to make him feel bad or am I to accuse him (a small part of my mind thinks so) of not being empathetic and risk making him yet again feel bad or should I just accept that I'm a self centered overly sensitive ***** and should feel bad less often. Or What?

(By the by, I am emotionally unstable in general)

But seriously - I don't know in all honestly whether I am insulted by his insensitivity or wheher I'm just being a pain in the arse.

 

[WalterTrull]

But seriously - I don't know in all honestly whether I am insulted by his insensitivity or wheher I'm just being a pain in the arse.

Somewhat the former but probably mostly the latter. Sounds like you need more women and gay friends.

 

[stvdv]

I make a man feel bad if I tell him I feel bad and once I've told him why I feel bad he says a word or two and then he expects the matter and the feeling are done away with.

Am i then to pretend to feel better so as not to make him feel bad or am I to accuse him (a small part of my mind thinks so) of not being empathetic and risk making him yet again feel bad or should I just accept that I'm a self centered overly sensitive ***** and should feel bad less often. Or What?

(By the by, I am emotionally unstable in general)

But seriously - I don't know in all honestly whether I am insulted by his insensitivity or wheher I'm just being a pain in the arse.

This is how I personally look at it, on this moment. Learning daily, so might change. But as for now:

Once a drug/alc addict was placed in my house. I felt bad by his behavior [messy kitchen etc]. Then I thought suppose he lived 1000 miles away. Would I feel bad? No! Then I got the lesson. Detach myself from emotional being attached to him. Next 3 years no problems.

If you have a problem with anyone it has to do with "your attachment to him".

We all know by now that evolution goes VERY slow. People hardly change.
If you don't like someone today, most probably you don't like him next decade
Of course you can compromise yourself away
But why do so. You just have one life now, find only people who harmonize

If you do like fighting now and then [some humans do]
Then better to go to a karate class or something. Then 2h fight but 22h peace
Allowing people who are not empathetic and expecting that to change will "eat you"
You have inner fight [monkey mind] going on 24/7

Good luck solving this. If you find another solution, let me know. I always like to learn something new on this interesting issue.

 

[Kapalika]

Really depends who and where

 

[Sunstone]

I make a man feel bad if I tell him I feel bad and once I've told him why I feel bad he says a word or two and then he expects the matter and the feeling are done away with.

Am i then to pretend to feel better so as not to make him feel bad or am I to accuse him (a small part of my mind thinks so) of not being empathetic and risk making him yet again feel bad or should I just accept that I'm a self centered overly sensitive ***** and should feel bad less often. Or What?

(By the by, I am emotionally unstable in general)

But seriously - I don't know in all honestly whether I am insulted by his insensitivity or wheher I'm just being a pain in the arse.

I sincerely hope you have or you can find a good psychiatrist and a good therapist.

 

[Shushersbedamned]

I sincerely hope you have or you can find a good psychiatrist and a good therapist.

That is not quite on the subject, not almost on point and so vehemently malicious I had to check the word sincerely because I was certain it has a positive ring to it when I use it.

Truly mine,
Shushers be damned

 

[Sunstone]

That is not quite on the subject, not almost on point and so vehemently malicious I had to check the word sincerely because I was certain it has a positive ring to it when I use it.

Truly mine,
Shushers be damned

It was not at all my intention to have insulted you. If you would like me to spell it out to you in detail, then here: I was truly attempting to no more than helpfully suggest to you that in my experience -- which is considerable in these matters -- anyone who is still wrestling at your age with such usually easy to cope with and manage issues as you portray yourself to be wrestling with in your OP could most likely benefit from professional help. It's up to you to seek out that help. Neither I, nor anyone else, can twist your arm to make you seek out that help. But you yourself asked for helpful opinions in the OP, didn't you? Well, I gave you mine. I will not apologize for it, but I will stand by it.

 

[stvdv]

(By the by, I am emotionally unstable in general)
But seriously - I don't know in all honestly whether I am insulted by his insensitivity or wheher I'm just being a pain in the arse.

IMHO:

All people have their trigger points. They come from trauma mostly in youth. Some men hide in an "insensitive" mode to a level that they can hardly feel anymore; women usually are capable to go not that far suppressing their feelings [they are emotionally better of]. Youth trauma are hard to cure, unless you want to see/feel[pain] them "head on" [but the thing is they are there because you don't want to feel the pain].

You are more "sensitive". I would say you are much better of. Not easy, but if you want to look inside and find the pain that causes you to be so "sensitive" slowly it will cure. I am also over-sensitive. But gets better by time. No need for therapist if you are a little creative yourself I would say. Being with someone who triggers you a lot, and then "look inside" is itself very therapeutic [and much cheaper, and more fun if you can see it that way; I love to understand and experience stuff myself].

Good luck

 

[Shushersbedamned]

It was not at all my intention to have insulted you. If you would like me to spell it out to you in detail, then here: I was truly attempting to no more than helpfully suggest to you that in my experience -- which is considerable in these matters -- anyone who is still wrestling at your age with such usually easy to cope with and manage issues as you portray yourself to be wrestling with in your OP could most likely benefit from professional help. It's up to you to seek out that help. Neither I, nor anyone else, can twist your arm to make you seek out that help. But you yourself asked for helpful opinions in the OP, didn't you? Well, I gave you mine. I will not apologize for it, but I will stand by it.

Hmmmm yaaahaa please don't advise me on anything ever unless you can't restrain yourself out of spite.