Parenting in the US

[The Hammer]

"In 92% of U.S. families with children under 18, at least one parent works, and in 67% of married-couple families with children, both parents work. Yet many of these parents struggle financially — and often, the need for child care makes it either logistically difficult or very expensive to work."

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-the-u-s-economy-became-so-hostile-to-parents-and-who-benefits-5bca5111

The American system fails families. And supports only the wealthy. Survival of the financial fittest is unsustainable.

"As families’ reliance on paid child care has grown, the cost of such services has increased at a faster pace than overall prices, even housing prices. On average, child care now costs more than rent in all 50 states. The recent involvement of investors, including private-equity firms, in the child-care industry increases pressure on these businesses to turn a profit — either by focusing on affluent families who can pay more or by reducing compensation for staff, according to journalist and child-care advocate Elliot Haspel. "

 

[Kathryn]

Neither of my daughters has ever had to work outside the home after they got married. Neither is wealthy.

 

[The Hammer]

Neither of my daughters has ever had to work outside the home after they got married. Neither is wealthy.

There are always exceptions. But they don't make the norm. Glad your family seems privileged in that regard I guess. Much love.

 

[Kathryn]

There are always exceptions. But they don't make the norm. Glad your family seems privileged in that regard I guess. Much love.

They weren't privileged, they just decided to stay home. They both drive older vehicles, like 8 or even older years old for instance.

 

[The Hammer]

They weren't privileged, they just decided to stay home. They both drive older vehicles, like 8 or even older years old for instance.

That's a privilege still and I don't care to try and explain that too you. It's not meant as a negative thing.

 

[Kathryn]

That's a privilege still and I don't care to try and explain that too you. It's not meant as a negative thing.

I'm just clarifying.

 

[The Hammer]

I'm just clarifying.

Defensive. Clarifying. Same same. Got anything productive to add to the topic besides personal anecdotes?

 

[Kathryn]

Defensive. Clarifying. Same same. Got anything productive to add to the topic besides personal anecdotes?

Nope, not really. Only my personal experience. Oh, and I didn't work outside the home till my youngest was in school full time. Weird how that works out.

 

[Koldo]

They weren't privileged, they just decided to stay home.

If you can simply decide to stay home, you are privileged.

 

[The Hammer]

If you can simply decide to stay home, you are privileged.

My wife and I can't afford for her to work. She can't make enough money to cover the childcare costs. So instead we are living my paycheck to paycheck.

 

[Kathryn]

If you can simply decide to stay home, you are privileged.

Well, we all talked with our prospective spouses beforehand and none of us would have settled. And come to think of it, my granddaughter, my daughter's daughter, just had a baby and is staying home with him too. Now, they are renting instead of buying a home, and it's super small but hey, it's a home and they are living in it.

And I wasn't able to buy my first home (and it was very small) till I was 33 years old but I did it.

 

[The Hammer]

"In 92% of U.S. families with children under 18, at least one parent works, and in 67% of married-couple families with children, both parents work. Yet many of these parents struggle financially — and often, the need for child care makes it either logistically difficult or very expensive to work."

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-the-u-s-economy-became-so-hostile-to-parents-and-who-benefits-5bca5111

The American system fails families. And supports only the wealthy. Survival of the financial fittest is unsustainable.

"As families’ reliance on paid child care has grown, the cost of such services has increased at a faster pace than overall prices, even housing prices. On average, child care now costs more than rent in all 50 states. The recent involvement of investors, including private-equity firms, in the child-care industry increases pressure on these businesses to turn a profit — either by focusing on affluent families who can pay more or by reducing compensation for staff, according to journalist and child-care advocate Elliot Haspel. "

What sorts of changes do we think could help benefit American families?

Child tax credits?

Money and gov't supports for parents?

Businesses required to pay for employees child care?

Edit: Family benefits like child benefits and child-raising allowances?

Family-friendly policies, such as paid parental leave, affordable pre-school facilities?

 

[Kathryn]

What sorts of changes do we think could help benefit American families?

Child tax credits?

Money and gov't supports for parents?

Businesses required to pay for employees child care?

How about starting with child tax credits and living well below one's means? Wow, selling real estate was an eye opener for me. I could not believe how people were insisting on amenities their parents couldn't fathom. I remember showing houses to first time home buyers who brought their parents along, and the parents were talking about how their starter homes were nothing like starter homes today. Kids sharing a room? No way! They could barely stand to share a bathroom!

 

[The Hammer]

How about starting with child tax credits and living well below one's means? Wow, selling real estate was an eye opener for me. I could not believe how people were insisting on amenities their parents couldn't fathom. I remember showing houses to first time home buyers who brought their parents along, and the parents were talking about how their starter homes were nothing like starter homes today. Kids sharing a room? No way! They could barely stand to share a bathroom!

The problem as I see it is the piecemeal way that US does everything, because we are too afraid of government help. Always fearing the worst. So things are patchwork across the nation ,with little to no consistency. (The laws in my professional field suffer the same piecemeal issues).

'"Because America’s child-care, labor and educational systems are all set up in piecemeal ways, “individuals are responsible for stretching the gaps when they occur within and across the system,” Terri Friedline, a professor of social work""

 

[Heyo]

What sorts of changes do we think could help benefit American families?

Child tax credits?

Tax credits work only for those who pay taxes, i.e. the wealthier half of US families.

 

[Heyo]

What sorts of changes do we think could help benefit American families?

Money and gov't supports for parents?

Businesses required to pay for employees child care?

Edit: Family benefits like child benefits and child-raising allowances?

Family-friendly policies, such as paid parental leave, affordable pre-school facilities?

Just look at what other countries have that you miss.
I don't have kids, so I might miss a lot.
- Paid leave in pregnancy with job back guarantee.
- Paid family leave.
- €250.00 per kid per month until mature and/or earning money.
- Guaranteed childcare place. (Well, in theory, this one doesn't really work.)
- Tuition free school and university.
- Basically free healthcare

That's what you'd have if you were living in Germany. Most European countries have similar perks, some exceeding ours by far.

 

[Estro Felino]

That's what you'd have if you were living in Germany. Most European countries have similar perks, some exceeding ours by far.

My country has also the paternity leave.
But we are not in the nineties any more. The eurocracy is legalized usury...and people don't want to create children and putting them into a usurocratic system. No matter how many "appealing" state aid for families with kids there are.
Foreigners (non-EU migrants) are the only ones who fall for that... even in Germany...let's admit that.

 

[Heyo]

My country has also the paternity leave.
But we are not in the nineties any more. The eurocracy is legalized usury...and people don't want to create children and putting them into a usurocratic system. No matter how many "appealing" state aid for families with kids there are.
Foreigners (non-EU migrants) are the only ones who fall for that... even in Germany...let's admit that.

I admit that, even though we have much more (monetary) incentives to have kids, our reproduction rates are falling (and well below those of the US).
But I question the reasons. 1. It is still a financial burden. The state aid doesn't cover all the costs. 2. The ecology. Humans are a burden for the environment. And resulting from that, 3. Uncertainty about the future. We are bombarded with apocalyptic news and predictions. Climate change, AI (i.e. job loss), rising fascist tendencies, rising geopolitical conflict, all the things one wouldn't wish upon one's children.

 

[Spice]

It is very tough and as much as certain laws are needed, it makes it even tougher. I was a latch-key kid, and so were my boys.

I was fortunate to have friends and neighbors to help at low cost before my boys were school age. I actually took a few kids in until parents began to take advantage and go shopping after work. And once they were both in school and the "sitters" weren't working out, we set down strict rules and my kids were excellent in abiding by them. The sitters were teenagers and both tries had been nightmare experiences.

Yes, child care facilities need regulations, and yes, meeting those requirements increase the overhead costs. Therefore, the parents pay more. So that's one place to look -- tax credits for the facilities that do their jobs well and pass the savings on.

Could there possibly be "public daycare" at public schools? Tax payers must continue to pay when they use private schools, so it would be fair and convenient as well as creating jobs. One certified childcare supervisor for say 5 assistants?

It's a tough situation and I personally do feel it's best to live simply and not have to use outside childcare, but sometimes it's just not possible.

 

[Estro Felino]

I admit that, even though we have much more (monetary) incentives to have kids, our reproduction rates are falling (and well below those of the US).
But I question the reasons. 1. It is still a financial burden. The state aid doesn't cover all the costs. 2. The ecology. Humans are a burden for the environment. And resulting from that, 3. Uncertainty about the future. We are bombarded with apocalyptic news and predictions. Climate change, AI (i.e. job loss), rising fascist tendencies, rising geopolitical conflict, all the things one wouldn't wish upon one's children.

I think that peaceful policies like a denuclearization program would make people more optimistic about the future.
But unfortunately some of our leaders cannot live without war. It's like oxygen.