Patronizing Guardian

[Mystikal_Mysty]

I'm pretty sure many people have dealt with this when switching to a different religion from your parents or guardian.. How did you all deal with it? I just got done having a early dinner with my grandmother, and I pray to the Lord/Lady/both and the spirit of the food I am eating. And when Grandma saw me doing that, she asked me how I prayed. So while I was trying to explain, she said, "Why don't you just say it out loud?" So I did, and when I was finished she was shaking her head and told me I was so misguided. While I understand a LOT of people are like this, I need a way to handle it on my own. I have told her before I don't appreciate it when she talks to me so condescendingly, and I never speak to her like that.. So what's the deal? :help:

 

[Gentoo]

People often mock or shrug off what they don't understand, and sometimes, it's better for all involved to agree to disagree.. even if that's just a silent stalemate where neither brings up the situation (that's how I deal with it at home )

 

[The Voice of Reason]

You also need to keep in mind that, as a grandmother, she has already firmly entrenched her life and morals in whatever religious beliefs she holds.

As you continue to age, you will (eventually) have to learn to stand up for what you believe in, and your right to believe as you do. You want to stop her condescending attitude while still being respectful of her.

One method to do this would be to simply explain to her that even though you love her, and consider her to be a key person in your life, you are not seeking her approval of your belief system. Tell her that even though you do not embrace her religious tenets, you respect her right to pursue them - and that you expect her to extend the same courtesy to you.

Either she will or she won't meet you halfway. If she does, then the problem is solved.
If she does not, then at some point, you will have to explain to her why you are spending less and less time in her company.

No one - and I mean no one - wants to be looked down on or condescended to. You should not be expected to either.

 

[Sunstone]

I'm sorry to hear you have this problem, Mysty, but I thinkTVOR has given you some excellent, well thought-out advice.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Yes, I second that.

Being unconventional will always ruffle a few feathers. Having the ability to stand up for your beliefs and opinions respectfully is a skill, and TVOR spelled it all out for you eloquently.

 

[Erebus]

I'm pretty sure many people have dealt with this when switching to a different religion from your parents or guardian.. How did you all deal with it? I just got done having a early dinner with my grandmother, and I pray to the Lord/Lady/both and the spirit of the food I am eating. And when Grandma saw me doing that, she asked me how I prayed. So while I was trying to explain, she said, "Why don't you just say it out loud?" So I did, and when I was finished she was shaking her head and told me I was so misguided. While I understand a LOT of people are like this, I need a way to handle it on my own. I have told her before I don't appreciate it when she talks to me so condescendingly, and I never speak to her like that.. So what's the deal? :help:

My mum wasn't too keen on me leaving Christianity to explore magic and LHP, but after a few years of me countering any argument in favour of Christianity she had at her disposal, she eventually gave up trying to convert me back, but still doesn't like my beliefs. I'm fine with that, she can think whatever she wants as long as she doesn't bother me with it. My dad is agnostic so he didn't much care.
Unfortunately if people are set in their beliefs enough, they will never stop looking down on your own beliefs. I have no problem with people believing whatever they like, but as soon as they belittle my beliefs or try to force their own on me, I can only assume they don't mind me pointing out every flaw in their own beliefs. They quickly learn to keep their opinions to themselves, from which point it really doesn't matter what they think of your beliefs. They can feel free to quietly believe you are misguided/delusional etc, without it affecting you.

 

[Dena]

I haven't told my family yet (I did leave the Christian church nearly 9 years ago so they do know something isn't the same but they have no idea I'm seeking conversion to Judaism). I've been waiting to see where things go. Now I've decided to wait until after my cousin's wedding in two months just in case my family has really negative reactions. I don't want to deal with that while trying to plan and prepare for her wedding. There is too much to do and I have to be with them quite a bit up until that time.

 

[dust1n]

I'm pretty sure many people have dealt with this when switching to a different religion from your parents or guardian.. How did you all deal with it?

Told them to get over it.