Penis valued at $5,000,000 an inch

[Skwim]

You should be so lucky . . . . . . . . . . . . or not.

"A former sailor has been awarded over $7.5 million in damages over a car crash in California that shortened his penis by an inch and a half.

Newlywed Matthew Wall suffered crush injuries and nerve damage to his manhood after a 2007 accident in San Diego.

The 27-year-old underwent reconstructive surgery that left his penis an inch and half shorter than before the accident.

Mr Wall's lawyer Nicholas Rowley said the van’s driver, Pedro Flores Miramontes, was a non-U.S. citizen who had an expired driver’s license and had never been trained as a shuttle driver.

A jury in El Cajon, California, awarded him $7,553,000 in damages as compensation for pain, suffering, medical bills and loss of income.
source
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Loss of income? Ah, exactly what had Mr. Wall been doing with h . . . . er, never mind.

 

[Revoltingest]

It would be critical to know which inch & a half was lost.

 

[Alex_G]

That is mental. I'd be tempted to actively organise the shortening of my own manhood for that kind of dosh.

 

[Splarnst]

Loss of income? Ah, exactly what had Mr. Wall been doing with h . . . . er, never mind.

That refers to the time he was recovering in the hospital and at home rather than working and receiving an income. It has nothing to do with the penis itself, presumably.

 

[Skwim]

That refers to the time he was recovering in the hospital and at home rather than working and receiving an income. It has nothing to do with the penis itself, presumably.

Yes, I know.

 

[T-Dawg]

Dang, can I sell my penis? I could be set financially for life, and it's not like I'll ever get an opportunity to use it...

 

[Splarnst]

OK, I didn't know whether a random stranger on the internet was kidding.

 

[sandandfoam]

That's nothing. We've given a whole economy to a few penises.

 

[elmarna]

Skwim- do you suffer from penis envy?
That is the first thing I thought when I saw this thread!

 

[Skwim]

Skwim- do you suffer from penis envy?
That is the first thing I thought when I saw this thread!

I suffer from money envy.

​

 

[Reverend Rick]

That makes my Penis worth about a million dollars.

 

[Skwim]

That makes my Penis worth about a million dollars.

Reminds me of the old joke:
A couple are getting ready to have sex for the first time. As both disrobe the woman happens to spy the man's penis and dismissively exclaims "And just who do you expect to satisfy with that? To which the man replies, "Me."

 

[Nechestiv]

So if I sold mine, I would receive millions....for that I surely could be able to get a new one put on surgically in this age of medicine, whilst still having millions to spare. Who needs innovation to make money when you have a penis?