Personal space

[Jaymes]

How do you guys deal with personal space? For me if I'm around someone familiar, personal space is nonexistant. If it's someone I know well, they qualify as a pillow if the urge arises. With strangers I prefer to have at least a couple of feet away if it's not a crowded situation, and in crowded situations I don't care as long as nobody's trying to cop a feel.

And as for this topic, yes, I think about strange things when I'm reading. :bounce

 

[Pussyfoot Mouse]

I think it depends on my mood. If I'm in a cushy cozy mood, I don't need my personal space, I actually ask the kids to come and cuddle with me. But sometimes I just need some distance from everyone. I hate those moods. :149:

 

[Isabella Lecour]

Personal space, hun? Ok. Well I need about two feet of space between me and anyone near my face. Otherwise I feel threatened and get aggressive. Among strangers I prefer enough space that equals the distance of my outstreched arms all the way around. When crowed in and around, I deal with it but not happyly. Freinds and family are allowed to get closer but not towards the face. I only cuddle with one person, my hubby. I'm tollerent with very young kids invading my space. My freinds all have kids but I don't yet. I tend to play with them a lot and they haven't begun to learn anything about boundries. Adults do get told to back off or I back up and go on guard; depends what the deal is. Can you tell that I've been threathed alot?

Isabella

 

[Jaymes]

It's kind of the opposite with me... I can't stand little kids getting near me. They're always sticky and annoying and in my face. I kind of spazz when they get near me unless they need a hug or something.

 

[QTpi]

If I don't know the person, I want to keep at least a couple of feet in distance. I get very uncomfortable if people stand too close to me in a line. It's different for family and friends. I am a "huggy" person by nature, so personal space isn't necessary around them. I love kids, so I think it's great whenever they are close. :jiggy:

 

[Watcher]

I am very touchy about my personal space, or "my bubble" as I like to call it.
I hate having people to close to me, touching me, putting their arm around me. And if you do invade the bubble without permission I will FREAK OUT on you. I just don't like it when people touch me. Very few people have ever been allowed to be close enough emotionally to let them get close to me physically.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Im ok with a few people I know, if only a bit, being right next to me. Kind of a small requirement for any type of sport were you have to trust the other person to not mess up. If there complete strangers, Im still ok, but I have a tendacy to keep my guard up.
If its a large group of people Im surrounded by, I actually found out I get a bit of social clausterphobia. I can be watched by hundreds, not just surronded by them at the same time.

 

[kreeden]

In the mornings , there should be no fly zones around me . You don't want to be in the same building , trust me .

I need my space . I hate to say this , but even in a close relationship there are times when I just have to get away , by myself ...

 

[michel]

Strangely, I'm lucky - no hang-ups with personal spaces. All I need is about 6 inches(Crowds don't bother me) - as long as their face isn't too near mine. Kids ? I love 'em- I think i'm in for a long wait for my sons.

 

[Pah]

Personal space is a rarity in Tokyo. During the rush hour, white gloved attendents would stand at the door of a subway car and force, by pushing, passengers into the car until it could hold no more. Three or four more joined them. A friend of mine, rather tall for an American had to stoop and bend his knees when forced against the wall of the subway. Most of the time when he did that an older woman would sit on his knees. At one time, at night after school, the trains suffered a slow down and many people accumulated on the station platform. When a full train (as above) arrived I was asked (through gestures) to push a few into the car. Hehehe - I felt accepted!! Yet there was space for the over imbiber who suddenly was ill. Truely amazing.

Houses in the suburbs are built as close as 3 foot apart. Leaning out a sliding panel and you could "borrow a cup of sugar" or whatever was the equivalent there.

Yet everybody seemed to have an integrity of self despite the forced proximety.

I generally only worry about my wallet when others are close.

 

[DreamQuickBook]

How do you guys deal with personal space? For me if I'm around someone familiar, personal space is nonexistant. If it's someone I know well, they qualify as a pillow if the urge arises. With strangers I prefer to have at least a couple of feet away if it's not a crowded situation, and in crowded situations I don't care as long as nobody's trying to cop a feel.

And as for this topic, yes, I think about strange things when I'm reading. :bounce

I need a lot of personal space. I don't care who you are. Don't touch me unless I approach you. The only exception is my g/f.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

If I can smell them they are too close especially strangers.
Friends can be a bit closer if the smell ok.

I don't like large social groups.
One or two best.
Three or four no problem.
6 to 8 Ok if I know them well.
More than that I don't hang around long, I hate small talk.
Just a bit antisocial I suppose.

Crowds in public are no problem, we are all invisible.

Terry
___________________________________-
Amen! Truly I say to you: Gather in my name. I am with you.

 

[Fluffy]

Personal space if pretty much irrelevant to me. I am a very trusting person which is probably the reason behind this. However, as soon as I have a reason to distrust you then I need to be out of reaching distance with plenty of space to get out of the way of you (that last feeling came about from being around a school full of guys who constantly feel the need to play practical jokes on one another).

Im also a very huggy person and get along best with people who either dont mind this or are huggy people as well. For example, one of my best friends came around yesterday and we spent a couple of hours holding each other whilst chatting up in my room. I really enjoy that level of closeness and the amount of trust that it requires, especially when it is just between friends.

On the other hand, I strongly dislike it when people don't back off when I ask them to.

 

[michel]

Personal space if pretty much irrelevant to me. I am a very trusting person which is probably the reason behind this. However, as soon as I have a reason to distrust you then I need to be out of reaching distance with plenty of space to get out of the way of you (that last feeling came about from being around a school full of guys who constantly feel the need to play practical jokes on one another).

Im also a very huggy person and get along best with people who either dont mind this or are huggy people as well. For example, one of my best friends came around yesterday and we spent a couple of hours holding each other whilst chatting up in my room. I really enjoy that level of closeness and the amount of trust that it requires, especially when it is just between friends.

On the other hand, I strongly dislike it when people don't back off when I ask them to.

I wonder if that is why I don't need 'personal space' - I'm forever being told that I am far too trusting.

I know the 'huggy' bit is a bit off topic, but since you bring it up, I was brought up without hugs - emotion was something not to be displayed; I used to feel very uncomfortable with any physical contact. I was determined my sons would'nt grow up with that hang up - thank goodness, it worked!

 

[Aqualung]

My personal space is huge. I don't think there is anybody with whom I fell comfortable enough to get within arms length under normal situation. (Normal situation being like just talking. I don't even think how close I am if I'm playing basketball or something.)

 

[Natas]

I really don't have a problem with space, and can be quite close to people as long as they're not nose-to-nose with me. Not that I enjoy it, it just doesn't bother me all that much. I do hate to be directly behind a female when in a very crowded place, because you always get the blame if someone gets a little, "Touchy-feely". Also if something happens to panic the crowd it could be a life or death situation.

 

[johnnys4life]

I used to hate it when people tried to hug me in church. But now I'm more used to it. I guess it's just whatever you're used to. I'm very affectionate with family. With friends I prefer verbal affection. I don't mind cozying up to people, as long as they don't have a problem with it.

What I don't like is when it comes out of the blue. You're not prepared. You go into "attack and defend" mode.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

One of my friend's fiance is in the Phi Theta Keppa, an honor society for smaller colleges. She had a shirt on once that said "You might be PTK if..." I was saying I could do all the academic related things no problem, but "You hug over 100 complete strangers in one weekend," I just couldn't do that much. My friend replied, "Dude, you wouldn't hug 1 complete stranger." I then said, ''Nope."

 

[Riven]

My wife thinks I have mild anthropophobia. I think I just don't like people in general. I absolutely have to have personal space. I don't even like my wife touching me unless we are being physically intimate. People I don't know have no business touching me at all, ever. Some people like to touch your arm when they laugh or tap your shoulder to get your attention - I hate that crap. The only physical contact that doesn't aggravate me is the aforementioned physical intimacy with the wife, and the occasional handshake in appropriate social/professional situations (but, when the person whose hand I'm shaking decides to put his or her free hand on my shoulder, or cover my hand with their other hand, it irritates the hell out of me). I despise anyplace crowded - malls, grocery stores, movie theatres, fairs, flea markets, bars, etc. I don't hide in the house all the time. But when I go to the grocery store, or Blockbuster, or Best Buy, or wherever, I don't dawdle. I get what I came for and get the heck out. And I really hate it when people enter my house without being invited (e.g., they knock on the door, I open it, and they step inside without being asked).

 

[CaptainXeroid]

Last month, I started using Atlanta's transit system getting to work & back, so I've had personal space on my mind, too. I think many of us in the US have come to expect a certain amount of space, and that's part of the reason many people prefer to drive themselves to work. That commute time may the only time they get space to themselves. The ride in isn't nearly as crowded as the ride home, but so far I have observed that most people appear to be respectful of other's space. I guess if I had to ride the train all the way downtown, that observation might change.

I have no problems with people I know hugging and touching me, and I've become pretty good at reading other people's body language and gauging what kind of space they prefer. As for strangers, when I'm in a crowded situation, like a crowded train, I keep track of my wallet and cell phone while others are in my bubble.