Fear all women too?
Eventually she'll be able to sit only next
to androgynous people....or androids.
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Poll: As to behaviour
- Thread starter Mock Turtle
- Start date
Eventually she'll be able to sit only next
to androgynous people....or androids.
In my country, I would perfectly understand her worry and not mind that she didn't move the bag, because sexual harassment is extremely common. Yes, the random man who sat next to her may not be a sexual harasser, but if the risk is high enough, I wouldn't go so far as to imply anything negative about her for keeping the bag on the seat. She simply can't vet every man there to make sure she'll be safe.
I would move the bag, but I don't have to worry about a random guy harassing me, so my answer has no bearing on her actions. I can see both her side and the side of the men who just wanted a seat but couldn't have one. I don't think what happened was her fault or theirs; it's a product of an environment that became unsafe enough for her to result in such a measure. Perhaps carrying pepper spray would be a better approach than putting a bag on an empty seat on public transport, and in my opinion, the solution to this kind of situation is to introduce her to another way to feel safe on public transport, not blame or attack her for what she did.
Also, Reddit seems to me a terrible place to ask for realistic advice about almost anything, let alone a complicated issue like this one. It's often an echo chamber with a lot of opinions that are disconnected from reality and attached to ideology or internet culture, where "upvotes" and reactions take priority over substance in many cases.
I would move the bag, but I don't have to worry about a random guy harassing me, so my answer has no bearing on her actions. I can see both her side and the side of the men who just wanted a seat but couldn't have one. I don't think what happened was her fault or theirs; it's a product of an environment that became unsafe enough for her to result in such a measure. Perhaps carrying pepper spray would be a better approach than putting a bag on an empty seat on public transport, and in my opinion, the solution to this kind of situation is to introduce her to another way to feel safe on public transport, not blame or attack her for what she did.
Also, Reddit seems to me a terrible place to ask for realistic advice about almost anything, let alone a complicated issue like this one. It's often an echo chamber with a lot of opinions that are disconnected from reality and attached to ideology or internet culture, where "upvotes" and reactions take priority over substance in many cases.
I don't necessarily see it that way, because of what I said in my previous post:
What makes you conclude that her actions had anything to do with being offended or entitled?
Soandso
ᛋᛏᚨᚾᛞ ᛋᚢᚱᛖ
Eh... If it were me, and it really did get that crowded, I would relinquish my seat to someone who was elderly, used a walker, or seemed like they might have health issues. Standing for 30-60 mins shoulder to shoulder with people isn't that big of a deal for me, personally. If that wasn't the case, then folks could sit next to me. My bag would already be on my lap or at my feet
The issues is of course more complex than
my post mocking her. But describing men
as "creepy" speaks more of offense than
fear. Her "ownership" of an open seat on
public transportation smells of entitlement.
How is it different from RF?
I was once in a dicy situation where a guy on a greyhound kept following me because he knew I was alone. But instead if trying to make artificial boundaries, I moved closer to others. I think that's a safer bet.
I can't comment on her description of them as "creepy" without knowing why she said that. If it was merely due to appearance, I think it was judgmental. If it was due to behavior, such as getting too close or staring for too long, I could see why she would say that.
I didn't get the impression that she saw herself as owning anything; just keeping the seat occupied to avoid potential harassment. Not a great situation, but I don't see it as entitlement per se.
I'd rather not criticize another online site in detail here, but in a nutshell, it's much more loosely moderated, much less respectful or based on articulate or detailed posts rather than shorter and sometimes biting remarks, and much more prone to groupthink and toxic tribalism due to the voting system, that last one being among the most notorious aspects of the site.
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
If I may answer:
The age demographic alone tends to be different. So while the user base of Reddit may in general not have many real life experiences to draw upon when it comes to complex issues, to me it seems they'll often answer anyway, and as @Debater Slayer said, base their assessments on ideology, (popular opinion at the time), etc.
Say you ask about a complex life issue on RF. You'll get a mix of answers, some involving real life experience, some involving ideas in general. But I'd say things are less focused on ideology in general, and because there isn't a karma system and the same traffic system and as much focus on applying memes to everything (in general), you'll get less people repeating the most popular answer for the sake of it, more people treating the subject more delicately, etc.
One issue with Reddit is that hundreds of people will tend to focus on the thoughts of the answer which is "most voted up" and appears at the top of the comments section, and that answer is often wrong. Then, for some reason, if you go against whatever said answer is, people will tend to get angry about it. And everyone will tend to just repeat what the "most popular" comment said.
And yet, the similarities of things you criticized are striking.
"t's often an echo chamber with a lot of opinions that are
disconnected from reality and attached to ideology or
internet culture...."
For multiple reasons, I recommend against such harsh
criticism of another site.
Nobody can get downvoted here, sometimes to the point where their comments are automatically hidden, due to their opinions. The rules also apply to everyone, unlike many subreddits where it seems that personally attacking the unpopular targets is seen as fair game.
Hey, that was the nutshell version. "Harsh" might instead apply to my full opinion of it.
I agree there's no need to detail the criticism further.
It appears that you're allowed.
Speaking of young'ns with less real life experience, eh.
They do have a different system.
And it appears to be far more popular & prominent.
RestlessSoul
Well-Known Member
Probably she’s had some bad experiences in the past. On the face of it she’s being very selfish, but I’d make some allowances for that.
I never claimed they're identical.
So differences will be found without countering a claim of similarities.
Reddit or otherwise, do you see popularity and prominence as measures of a site's quality?
Facebook and Twitter are exponentially more popular than RF. Do you consider them better?
Reddit quotes very often appear in the news.
It's a prominent source that raises issues, &
has some useful (ie, "quality") views & info.
It's wrong to dismiss all of it because of rabble.
To directly answer your question....
Prominence =/= Cromulence.
Disclaimer:
I don't use Reddit. It looks foreign & inscrutable.
I see glimpses of it only in news media.
Agreed. I just weigh its pros and cons when assessing the overall picture.
Agreed, especially when it comes to social media and the internet in general.
It says as such in the OP as to her being harassed by numerous men in the past, but this isn't the solution. All it does, as in so many other situations, is to project the few onto the many. I certainly sympathise with her but she should have found other solutions - given one might find such via the internet.