Problem with Pornography

[AHindu]

Hello everyone! I am a new member here and recentely, I posted one of my problem in a thread named 'Views on Pornography'. Since I am a Hindu, one kind member suggested to post the same problem in this DIR. After hearing their responses, I want to consult this group too.

I am 14 years old and recently stumbled upon Pornography. I don't watch it very often. I only watch it when I cannot reais it my urge. It started when I started looking up for erotic images and then started to look out for nude celebrities. Slowly, I found myself looking at pornography from various websites.

I am unsure if this is common for my age and also suspect it has bad karma. Any kind soul in this DIR, please enlighten me by answering these questions and please provide examples from religious books(eg. Bhagvad Geetha). Thank you in advance.

 

[Kapalika]

It's extremely common. No matter what people say about the rest which is my opinion, that much is true. If it matters, I'm in my mid 20's and an American. My views might differ than if i had grown up elsewhere but I stand by these.

Which is that I don't believe it's bad karma so long as what you are watching is consensual. Honestly I think it's a Christian type of thing to say that sex is sinful. They tried to seep their ideas into Hinduism during their rule over India and unfortunately it's stuck in some places.

Are you familiar with the Kama Sutra? It was written centuries ago and provided lots of advice on sex and masturbation so clearly it wasn't always viewed so negatively in Hinduism. Kama is a normal part of life so I don't see the problem so long as everything is in moderation, respect and responsibly.

That said, society and some people think that you viewing it at your age is unhealthy as it will give you an unrealistic expectation and idea of what sex is like and I agree somewhat. Remember porn is fantasy. Real sex is very rarely like it and a lot of the things you see in it just look nice and are actually not enjoyable for either of them.

I would be careful because of you're age but I'd by lying if I didn't say that I and most teenagers didn't look at least sometimes. Some parents might over react if they see it as very taboo. Many older generations didn't have access to the kind of things you do now and what they did was... more tasteful. Degrading acts on people in porn is more common than past decades and it can be very morally questionable to view those kinds of videos for many people particularly for older generations. Porn and erotic writings have been around for centuries, either as paintings, carvings or stories. It's just easier to find them now.

In any case masturbation itself isn't wrong, but if you get carried away and it distracts from your life or responsibilities it becomes a problem. Be careful and smart and respect the sensibilities of your parents as much as you can while you live with them.

Some may question my views since I'm an American, but I've run into people from almost every country online and everyone is the same with the same kinds of desires.

EDIT:

I should also add, that scripture is largely silent on the issue of masturbation. There are those who say it's unhealthy or bad but again I believe that attitude came to be because of the Christian rule over India. If it was otherwise the case, you'd think we would have a lot more scripture talking about it like it does other wrong things such as hurting others or abandoning one's obligations.

 

[Aupmanyav]

I do not think Christian views have affected Indian views. Sex is a part of life, if it is pursued, as you said, with moderation, respect and responsibly. As for porn and masturbation, as you said, our objection is that young people get carried away and it distracts from their life or responsibilities. We know that young people today, will come across it in their life, it is sort of inevitable. That is why we have worship of Saraswati and Hanumana, that is to remind them that there are other things more important in their life - getting education and taking care of their body. Sex also will come in their life, but there is a time for it and the right person to engage in it with.

AHindu, it is your life. You can continue wasting time on porn in disregard to other things in life or even better, engage in experimentation and enjoy your present. What you do today will have repercussions all through your life.

 

[Kapalika]

I do not think Christian views have affected Indian views. Sex is a part of life, if it is pursued, as you said, with moderation, respect and responsibly. As for porn and masturbation, as you said, our objection is that young people get carried away and it distracts from their life or responsibilities. We know that young people today, will come across it in their life, it is sort of inevitable. That is why we have worship of Saraswati and Hanumana, that is to remind them that there are other things more important in their life - getting education and taking care of their body. Sex also will come in their life, but there is a time for it and the right person to engage in it with.

AHindu, it is your life. You can continue wasting time on porn in disregard to other things in life or even better, engage in experimentation and enjoy your present. What you do today will have repercussions all through your life.

You are right, my apologies. I mispoke I Meant that a few talk with me about sex in the way Christians tend to and I was afraid that happened to the poster. I think those who see it that way are few and most are as you say and described. I am sorry for the confusion.

@AHindu listen to @Aupmanyav , he knows what he is saying

 

[SomeRandom]

You're 14. You will watch a lot. I mean a lot. A majority of kids your age will engage frequently in porn and masturbation. Everyone does. That's just how life is. We get it out of our system at that age, as it were. And hormones and such will dictate to you to be horny. That is basic biology telling you that you should want to think about making babies. Obviously don't, modern society has much to offer in the way of education and setting oneself up first and foremost. But unless you are quite literally..........erm tugging the chain to the exclusion of life 24/7, then you'll be right mate. It's just a phase.

 

[ajay0]

Hello everyone! I am a new member here and recentely, I posted one of my problem in a thread named 'Views on Pornography'. Since I am a Hindu, one kind member suggested to post the same problem in this DIR. After hearing their responses, I want to consult this group too.

I am 14 years old and recently stumbled upon Pornography. I don't watch it very often. I only watch it when I cannot reais it my urge. It started when I started looking up for erotic images and then started to look out for nude celebrities. Slowly, I found myself looking at pornography from various websites.

I am unsure if this is common for my age and also suspect it has bad karma. Any kind soul in this DIR, please enlighten me by answering these questions and please provide examples from religious books(eg. Bhagvad Geetha). Thank you in advance.

Pornography can potentially become an addiction like alcoholism, smoking and drugs. Addictions are strong impressions or vasanas in the mind which imbalance the mind or reduce mental equanimity.

As Krishna stated , ‘Equanimity of mind is yoga’. And any compulsive habit or addiction is thus fatal to mental equanimity due to the mental agitations they create in the form of cravings and aversions.

This also reduces one’s efficiency , as Krishna had emphasized mental equanimity for skill in action. An agitated state of mind will not allow a detailed impartial study of a subject, as a calm mind does, which is necessary to gain knowledge to do the task well.

The goal in Hinduism is to transform the sexual energy into higher levels of physical, mental, intellectual and spiritual energies, rather than waste it through masturbation or sex.

Practice of Pranayama, japa, meditation, hatha yoga, physical exercise and sports, intellectual and artistic pursuits, can help one to transmute the sexual energies to productive ones.


Here are some sayings on brahmacharya or continence by Swami Vivekananda….



Complete continence gives great intellectual and spiritual power. Controlled desire leads to the highest results. Transform the sexual energy into spiritual energy. The stronger this force, the more can be done with it. Only a powerful current of water can do hydraulic mining.


All the misery of the world is caused by this slavery to the senses. Our inability to rise above the sense-life—the striving for physical pleasures, is the cause of all the horrors and miseries in the world.


The satisfaction of desire only increases it, as oil poured on fire makes it burn more fiercely.


The lower the organisation, the greater the pleasure in the senses. Very few men can eat a meal with the same gusto as a dog or a wolf. But all the pleasures of the dog or the wolf have gone, as it were into the senses. The lower types of humanity in all nations find pleasure in the senses, while the cultured and the educated find it in thought, in philosophy, in arts and sciences. Spirituality is a still higher plane.

 

[Stormcry]

Bhishma said, "They that are wicked are evil in their practices, ungovernable or incapable of being kept within the restraints of rules, and foul mouthed. They, on the other hand, they are good, are always good in their acts. .......One should never cast one's eyes on a naked woman, nor a naked man. One should never indulge in sexual congress except in privacy................."

Mahabharata, Anusasana Parva, Section CLXII

 

[AHindu]

Hello everyone. Firstly, I want to thank everyone who replied. I am also Glad to share that I am close to stop watching pornography.

I learnt that it is up to you if you want to watch pornography but if you feel guilty for watching it, the best thing is to quit it. Guilt gives birth to hate on yourself. Hating yourself will never get you anywhere in life so I decided to stop watching it.

In this modern society, many say that they have not watched pornography but thanks to the internet, it is very accessible. Everyone will stumble upon on it at leat once in their life. Some will be disgusted but some will continue.

I, unfortunately, chose to continue it. But, I realised that I can still still quit. It won't be easy. But I just have to overcome the pressure from my brain. It'll take time but I'm sure I will be cured soon.


Once again, thank you.

 

[Valjean]

I daresay you'll be "cured" when your androgenic hormone levels drop -- I wouldn't expect this any time soon.
In the meantime, keep in mind that strong sexual urges are pretty much universal in young men, as is masturbation, and that guilt over this can be more harmful than occasional indulgence.

 

[Vinayaka]

Hello everyone. Firstly, I want to thank everyone who replied. I am also Glad to share that I am close to stop watching pornography.

I learnt that it is up to you if you want to watch pornography but if you feel guilty for watching it, the best thing is to quit it. Guilt gives birth to hate on yourself. Hating yourself will never get you anywhere in life so I decided to stop watching it.

In this modern society, many say that they have not watched pornography but thanks to the internet, it is very accessible. Everyone will stumble upon on it at leat once in their life. Some will be disgusted but some will continue.

I, unfortunately, chose to continue it. But, I realised that I can still still quit. It won't be easy. But I just have to overcome the pressure from my brain. It'll take time but I'm sure I will be cured soon.


Once again, thank you.

One of the fascinating things about using will to break habits is that you learn about will. Most things, if you use it, it decreases. With will, it is the opposite ... the more you use it, the more you have. If you overcome this, think what else you could do with the skillful application of your own willpower.

 

[Jainarayan]

I realised that I can still still quit. It won't be easy. But I just have to overcome the pressure from my brain. It'll take time but I'm sure I will be cured soon.

If you are a faithful person, you might pray to Lord Ayyappa, by chanting his nama mantra swamiye sharanam ayyappa or his gayatri, or just by talking to him and asking his help. Being the son of Shiva and Vishnu (Mohini avatar), either a tulsi or rudraksha mala can be used. He is lifelong brahmacharya and helps conquer and leave worldly desire and lusts, among other benefits and blessings from him.

His gayatri:
om bhoothanaathaya vidmahe
bhavaputraya dheemahe
tanno sasta prachodayat

 

[Aupmanyav]

I, unfortunately, chose to continue it. But, I realised that I can still still quit. It won't be easy. But I just have to overcome the pressure from my brain. It'll take time but I'm sure I will be cured soon.

Nice thought. Every one here will approve of that. My suggestion to people with this kind of problems is to ask them to do push-ups and sit-ups in the Indian style. At least it will make your whole body strong (rather than just a few muscles).

 

[Child Empress]

There is nothing wrong with masturbation, masturbation does not = porn. You don’t need need porn for masturbation. “Hinduism” is an umbrella term with many different sects, so your responses will vary.

Pornography is an industry that relies on the hatred of women for it’s existence. Remember that every time you want to defend the industry by saying that “it’s all consensual” and therefore somehow okay...

It relies on men feeling entitled to women’s bodies (with or without their consent...hence the reason why common genres include things like teen, lesbian, incest and rape).

It relies on the humiliation and degradation of women (these terms and similar ones are also common in genre titles).

It relies on the manipulation and exploitation of young girls and women (pornographers use alcohol, drugs and money to coerce women into participating in porn, then try to include porn scenes that the woman didn’t agree to, and threaten NOT to pay if the woman doesn't complete the scene).

All you have to do is read accounts from past performers to see just how bad the industry really is for women. Porn is an industry that hurts women.

I do not have anything against sex workers and porn performers. You have complete free will, that’s just my 2 cents.

 

[Aupmanyav]

We don't know about that. We know women in this way:

"Dear Wife! By taking these seven steps, you have become my dearest friend. I pledge my unfailing loyalty to you. Let us stay together for the rest of our lives. Let us not separate from each other ever. Let us be of one mind in carrying out our responsibilities as householders. Let us love and cherish each other and enjoy nourishing food and good health. Let us discharge our prescribed Vedic duties to our elders, ancestors, rishis, creatures, and gods. Let our aspirations be united. I will be the Saaman and may you be the Rk. (Saaman here refers to the music and Rk refers to the Vedic text that is being cast into music.) Let me be the Etheric world and let you be the Bhoomi or Mother Earth. I will be the Shukla or life force and may you be the bearer of that Shukla. Let me be the mind and let you be the speech. May you follow me to conceive children and gain worldly as well as cosmic awareness. May all auspiciousness come your way."

"I enter this house with a happy heart. May I give birth to children, who observe the path of righteousness (dharma)! May this house that I enter today be prosperous forever and never be deficient in food. May this house be populated by people of virtue and pious thoughts."

"Ye learned people assembled at this sacred ceremony know it for certain that we two hereby accept each other as companions for life and agree to live together most cordially as husband and wife. May the hearts of us both be blended and beat in unison. May we love each other like the very breath of our lives. As the all-pervading God sustains the universe, so may we sustain each other. As a preceptor loves his disciple, so may we love each other steadfastly and faithfully." - RigVeda X.85.47

"Distant though we were, one from the other, we stand now united. May we be of one mind and spirit! Through the grace of God, may the eyes radiate benevolence. Be thou my shield. May thou have a cheerful heart and a smiling face. May thou be a true devotee of God and mother of heroes. May thou have at heart the welfare of all living beings!" - Rig Veda X.85.44

"I clasp thy hand and enter into the holy state of matrimony so that we may be blessed with prosperity and noble progeny. Mayst thou live with me happily throughout life! Through the grace of the all-mighty Lord, who is the Creator and Sustainer of the universe and in the presence of this august assemblage, thou art being given away in marriage so that we may together rightly perform our duties as householders.

With all my strength and resources, I have clasped thy hand; and thus united, we shall together follow the path of virtue. Thou art my lawfully wedded wife and I am thy lawfully wedded husband. God, the protector and sustainer of all, has given thee to me. From today, it devolves upon me to protect and maintain thee. Blessed with children, mayst thou live happily with me as thy husband for the full span of human life (a hundred years).

Following the divine law and the words of wisdom uttered by the sages, may we make a good couple and may God vouchsafe unto us a shining life of virtue and happiness.

As God nourishes and sustains all creatures through His great forces like the sun, the moon, the earth, the air etc., so may He bless my wife with healthy and virtuous progeny and may you all assembled here bless her!

• "I accept thee as my partner for life.
• I will not keep away even mentally anything from thee.
• I will share with thee all I enjoy.
• We will persevere in the path of virtue, surmounting all obstacles."

• "I adore God, the unifier of hearts. Now that I am leaving my parents’ home for my husband’s, I pray that He may keep us perpetually united!
• With these offerings I pray for Long life for my husband and for the prosperity of all our relations!
• (Addressing her husband) In making these offerings for your prosperity I once again pray that God may bless this union of our hearts!"

• "May the first step lead to food that is both nourishing and pure.
• May the second step lead to strength (at the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual levels).
• May the third step lead to prosperity.
• May the fourth step lead to all round happiness.
• May the fifth step lead to progeny (noble and virtuous children).
• May the sixth step lead to long life.
• May the seventh step lead to bondage (through harmony)."

The bridegroom:

"Having completed the seven steps, be thou my lifelong companion. Mayst thou be my associate and helper in successful performance of the duties that now devolve upon me as a householder. May we be blessed with many children who may live the full duration of human life!"
Vivaah - Wikipedia

We said that 51 years ago and are still going strong.

 

[ajay0]

There is nothing wrong with masturbation, masturbation does not = porn. You don’t need need porn for masturbation. “Hinduism” is an umbrella term with many different sects, so your responses will vary.

Pornography is an industry that relies on the hatred of women for it’s existence. Remember that every time you want to defend the industry by saying that “it’s all consensual” and therefore somehow okay...

It relies on men feeling entitled to women’s bodies (with or without their consent...hence the reason why common genres include things like teen, lesbian, incest and rape).

It relies on the humiliation and degradation of women (these terms and similar ones are also common in genre titles).

It relies on the manipulation and exploitation of young girls and women (pornographers use alcohol, drugs and money to coerce women into participating in porn, then try to include porn scenes that the woman didn’t agree to, and threaten NOT to pay if the woman doesn't complete the scene).

All you have to do is read accounts from past performers to see just how bad the industry really is for women. Porn is an industry that hurts women.

I do not have anything against sex workers and porn performers. You have complete free will, that’s just my 2 cents.

Well-stated. Pornography dehumanises woman and little children. Prostitution and illegal pornography is a major criminal problem in India , which goes side by side with the high crime rate against women.

But there is progress in this direction.

The efforts of Swami Rama as the Shankaracharya in the twentieth century, helped to end the Devadasi sampradaya in temples which prostituted women.

I think the right attitude towards women lies in the Shakta concept where Ramakrishna taught that all women should be seen as manifestations of the Divine mother. Except for one's wife, all other women should be seen as one's own mother and treated as such.

This is a great spiritually meritorious exercise in itself.