Punishment of Children

[Truth_Faith13]

If this thread is anywhere else I apologise, but I did search honest! (I know I dont normally!).

Anyway punishment of children....spanking, naughty step, locking in rooms, positive thinking or whatever that pyschological analysis thing is called! etc etc What is the best way in your view? Does as some people say the bible (or any other Holy Book) teach how to punish children? What are peoples views on spanking?

I dont even know the laws on spanking a child these days they change so much...I think in the Uk, it is you can smack as long as it doesnt leave a mark and is not on the head? (someone correct me if I am wrong) What are the laws in USA?

 

[Riverwolf]

Not sure what the laws here are, but I don't agree at all with physical punishment; verbal punishment is enough, I think.

I do think that punishments should be firm, but not to the point of torture. I once overheard my neighbors punishing their kid, and I distinctly remember him screaming: "I'm dying!!" I know he didn't mean that he was dying, but he was certainly suffering disproportionate to whatever he did, and I'd suppose that it got to the point where he didn't even remember why he did whatever it was. I didn't interfere because there was no way to know whether or not he was just overreacting to a spanking or actually being abused, but I didn't approve at all.

 

[Draka]

It all seems to depend on the child and the situation. Time outs may work for some, but for others they may not be phased by them at all. I don't oppose a swat on the behind or smacking of a hand depending on the situation. Sometimes a physical action, not specifically to cause pain, can be more for instantly grabbing attention in dangerous circumstances. Especially for the child who has a tendency to tune you out. I would rather my child have a slightly sore bottom than be hit by a car, or the top of his hand stinging a bit rather than a bad burn from the oven. Once you have the immediate attention, and stopped whatever dangerous action taking place, you can explain why you did what you did. Children will understand. Have them sit for a bit and think about why mommy or daddy did what they did and, more often than not, they will not only admit what they did was wrong, but apologize for it as well. Of course you apologize for the smack, but maintain you only acted on their best interest.

People get too worked up about the idea of using any physical action against children. Not all physical action is child abuse or results in child abuse. It's really about keeping a level head no matter what. Quite honestly, verbal abuse leaves much deeper scars than anyone realizes. So watching what you say can be much more important than if you smack their hand or something.

 

[kevinator815]

You shouldn't spank your children.

 

[Don Penguinoini]

My parents used to hit me, not ahrd or violent. But I thank them for it when i look back, it was done out of love.

 

[Sunstone]

US law varies by state.

 

[.lava]

never punish kid for being clumsy. never treat him bad because you're angry with someone else. treat him like an individual. don't talk to him as if he could not understand you. be patient about him. never lie to your kid. your child should never witness your lies. never slap his face, ever! never say something negative in front of other people. never humiliate him. never physically hurt him. don't forget he is not belong to you. your child is trust of God. fear God for doing your child wrong. love him, if he feels loved then he would want to be like you. seeing you sad should be his punishment. so far i can say but you know, i don't have kids but i was one.

.

 

[ChristineES]

Punishment is wrong, it should be discipline instead. Punishment teaches nothing except that bigger people are able to harm smaller people. I was hit a lot as a child and all it did was make me gun shy (I used to put my arms up whenever anyone spoke to me too loudly or whatever and I still hate loud voices to this day). Discipline should be very firm, but not harsh. It should show the consequences of one's actions. It could be time outs when younger, and grounding when older. Taking away of privileges is always a good way. And the discipline should fit the crime.

 

[Aishikyo]

If this thread is anywhere else I apologise, but I did search honest! (I know I dont normally!).

Anyway punishment of children....spanking, naughty step, locking in rooms, positive thinking or whatever that pyschological analysis thing is called! etc etc What is the best way in your view? Does as some people say the bible (or any other Holy Book) teach how to punish children? What are peoples views on spanking?

I dont even know the laws on spanking a child these days they change so much...I think in the Uk, it is you can smack as long as it doesnt leave a mark and is not on the head? (someone correct me if I am wrong) What are the laws in USA?

I think it would be best if parents tried to explain to their children exactly why what they did is wrong and why they shouldn't do it, and also actually listen to the opinions of their children on the matter.
If more action than this is needed, then I suppose that would be fine.
But it seems that many parents today skip the communication part and simply punish their children without helping them to understand why they're being punished.

 

[Sunstone]

If a kid hits another kid, you should beat him until he understands it's wrong to hit others.

 

[zenzero]

Friend sunstone,

If a kid hits another kid, you should beat him until he understands it's wrong to hit others.

Can not agree, as some child will take beating even if it hurts but will not accept defeat till you give up.
Besides one should try and find out what caused them to fight and sort it out between them with little interference.
Kids will be kids.
The need love and guidance.
We all learn mostly from our own experiences.
Wise Man - who learns from others experiences.
Normal man - learns from own experiences
Foolish man - never learns
Depending on the intelligence level each one learns on his own; all they need is love and guidance to open their minds and hearts to decide for themselves.
Love & rgds

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Punishment is wrong, it should be discipline instead. Punishment teaches nothing except that bigger people are able to harm smaller people. I was hit a lot as a child and all it did was make me gun shy (I used to put my arms up whenever anyone spoke to me too loudly or whatever and I still hate loud voices to this day). Discipline should be very firm, but not harsh. It should show the consequences of one's actions. It could be time outs when younger, and grounding when older. Taking away of privileges is always a good way. And the discipline should fit the crime.

Discipline was actually the word I was looking for thanks, I couldn't think of it! I guess as someone else says it depends on the child. I was smacked, and it did me know harm. A lot of the time it was more "Dont do that all you will get smacked" which stopped you from doing it! Now because parents are not allowed to smack, they can only say "Dont do that" to which children who are clever clogs when they want to be, answer back!

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Friend sunstone,



Can not agree, as some child will take beating even if it hurts but will not accept defeat till you give up.
Besides one should try and find out what caused them to fight and sort it out between them with little interference.
Kids will be kids.
The need love and guidance.
We all learn mostly from our own experiences.
Wise Man - who learns from others experiences.
Normal man - learns from own experiences
Foolish man - never learns
Depending on the intelligence level each one learns on his own; all they need is love and guidance to open their minds and hearts to decide for themselves.
Love & rgds

I could be wrong, but I think he was being sarcastic and his point was you cant teach a child not to hit, by hitting the child.

 

[Truth_Faith13]

What about from a religious perspective? I can remember one woman who spanked her children, when asked why said "It is in the bible". To be fair, she did spank in a loving environment ie it was explained to the child what they had done wrong, why she was going to be spanked and then had a cuddle afterwards and the child had said sorry.