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Quandary...

Feathers in Hair

World's Tallest Hobbit
Not sure if I spelled the above right... In any case, I have a fairly tough situation that I'd like everyones' advice on.

Eastern Iowa is fairly quiet, even here in Cedar Rapids. I've only lived in the state 4 years, these last two in the 'big city' in a fairly large apartment complex. The city has recently had a big migration of the people who were unfortunately forced out of Chicago when they re-did the housing projects. While I'm naturally very sympathetic to them, a few of those people who I'm sure do not represent the majority of kind-hearted souls that inhabit the projects have moved into our apartment building. Since our apartments have recently turned Section 8 and are barely treading water, financially, they court the people coming in from Chicago. This is causing a bit of a culture-shock...

The people who live above us have three children, the oldest of which is 10. The adults leave the apartment once or twice daily, leaving the two smaller ones in the company of the 'eldest.' They play very loud, bass-intensive music at pretty much any hour they choose. (This being the reason I'm still awake.) The adults have flaming rows in the parking lot or in their apartment, and my mom and I have witnessed this turning into them striking each other. (We've offered to call the abuse hotline for her at this, she seemed offended.)

Being concerned about the children, we've called DHS, who seem to have their hands full. However, we've also had to call the cops on these neighbors several times (the music, the fights, what has sounded like child abuse). The woman came downstairs and tried to shout at my mother the first time this happened. (The cops were angry that the children wouldn't answer the door when she'd left them home alone. She asked my mom "Didn't you raise your children to never answer the door when you're not home?!" My mom refrained from replying that she'd never left her children home alone.) At any rate, I'm really rather worried that the situation might escalate into the mother trying to attack us if we continue to call the cops, but we really need some sleep, and are quite worried about the children. (I should come right out and say that we don't call at the least little thing, but I think that you guys can assume that from me, hehee!)

About half an hour ago, we had to call the cops for the noise level. My mom stopped them as they were leaving, and the cops reported that the woman had not only claimed that we were 'only complaining because we're black' (nothing could be further from the truth) but that 'she (meaning my mom) has a history of complaining about stuff like this.' So, either this neighbor is making the latter up in an effort to dismiss us, or the apartment management has lied to them and said this. (Wait, maybe we do have a history of complaining... I do have an strange overreaction to people using the outside of my window as a toilet facility. :sarcastic ) The management would, unfortunately, be trying to appease everyone, since they really can't afford to have anyone leave.

The police were very nice, and offered to come back on the nights that they're working if there was a problem. (They heard the noise as they came in, so they knew it was valid.)

It saddens me, though, that someone would think of me as a racist. Maybe in the environment the woman grew up in, that was the only reason a neighbor would call the cops on you. I don't know.

I do know that I'm struggling with anger issues right now. Can anyone offer me words of wisdom? Your insight would be greatly appreciated!
 

SoulTYPE

Well-Known Member
We get that here. We are not allowed to complain about the indigenous people. If we do, we are considered racist.
 

robtex

Veteran Member
The racist card is a diversion tatic. Obviously if they were white you would still be calling the police and they are well aware of that. In the debate world (including forums) its called a strawman arguement. Instead of argueing about the issues presented different ones are substituted and argued instead. This is a strawman tatic used for your calling the police. What they are doing is illegal and its wrong. In an apartment complex you can't play instruments or loud music at all hours of the night and you can't beat your kids and get into fights. You need to do two things....

1) they are not your friends or anyone you will ever get along with...so stop trying. You are setting yourself up to fail. You have no need to interact with them at this point. Cease interaction with them.

2) You are not alone in the apartment complex. Rest assured somebody else is annoyed with them too. Find these people and work from a group. Once you have a group, as a group report the problem to the apartment management. The management is going to be interested in satisfying the most customers in can in any situation. If a large group complains about a single tennet the single tennet is going to be worked with. I know you said they can't anyone to leave but if you give them a choice of many leaving or one family leaving they are going with the one family.

Sorry you have to deal with this. If you feel guilty about the phn calls 3 things

1) you are protecting your family
2) protecting those children (by calling dhs)
3) they are making the choice to be intrusive on your families living by choice.
 

Lightkeeper

Well-Known Member
I would move out. If you told the manager you were considering moving over this, they might take action. The woman is using the racist card to take the focus off of her. The manager could move this family to a different part of the complex. Maybe they could fix up an apt. with padded walls:) . You do need to report people like this, they are out of control. They are uncivilized. I would bet that this family has had the police called on them many times previously to this. This woman acts like a two year old out of control and needs to learn how to respect others. I am surprised the manager is allowing her to get away with this. Let us know how it turns out.
 
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