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Quest for The Light

ThirtyThree

Well-Known Member
Salutations. I am called Thirty Three and this is my journal. Before I begin today's entry, I extend an invitation to everyone on this forum. Reply as you see fit, as much as you see fit, with as little filtering as possible and ask as many questions as you desire.

While the writings in this journal will be deeply personal, there will always be some things which must remain unsaid. There may likely be questions left unanswered and posts left unanswered. Howwever, I will be as personal as possible here, else this exercise of keeping a public journal will not benefit me.
 
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ThirtyThree

Well-Known Member
Journal:

Tomorrow I begin a routine I am not looking forward to. In fact, I loathe such routines. While I am not at all a spontaneous creature, strict observance of a particular timed routine is just not something I have ever practiced.

In fact, I have put this off for almost two weeks and if I continue to do so, I am blatantly disobeying a direct order from my deity which has been given to me several times.

I have selected Saturday to begin because it is associated with Saturn. The order which has been given to me is that I must spend sixty uninterrupted minutes every day in prayer. If I am interrupted, I have to start over.

Also, by prayer He does not refer to two way communication between Him and I. He made it clear that such prayer must be devotional in nature and solely regarding Him and His place in my life and heart. This is not to be about me seeking knowledge or guidance.
 

ThirtyThree

Well-Known Member
I am still reading the Bible and now I am up to Genesis 25:25.

Genesis 25:25 KJV
And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau.

That is confusing. Born covered in red hair?

Anyways...
 

ThirtyThree

Well-Known Member
I have been considering the question of what is of great importance to me to the degree I could not imagine giving it up. My new sacred cows, as it were. In other words, the central pieces of my ideology. I surprised myself because no where did I specify the details of who the supernals are to me or even their nature. Instead, I have listed six things I consider virtues.

1) Reason
Reason is central to my faith and my life. It is about having a rational approach to living. It is about accepting as fact what is fact and discarding what is proven false. It is about logic before belief based on personal bias. Reason does not interrupt faith because faith is a matter isolate to the invisible, the matters of spirit.

2) Nobility
Nobility is extremely important to me. It is about carrying myself with personal honor. It is about living up to my own standard, keeping my word and my oaths. It is about being well spoken and self honest. It is about being loyal to what and who has earned my loyalty, and defending these with integrity and vigor. It is about being patient and balanced in respect to all things.

3) Faith
Faith is extremely important to me. It is about trusting my Lord. It is about trusting in all He reveals, teaches, promises and commands. It is about being humble before Him. It is about obeying His commands.

A) Worship
Worship is very important to me. It is about honoring my Lord for all He has given me. However, worship also serves a purpose related to Nobility. Worship keeps me balanced. It is through the humility required in worship that I cease to focus only on myself. While ultimately, all I do is self centered, worship maintains that my Lord is greater than I. Worship tempers narcissism, preventing me from falling into the trap of self deification.

4) Works
Works are vital to me and central to my faith and my life. Works are about acting on my faith. They also are about doing for myself. They are the gems in my crown, the embellishments on my robes. They are the rooms, floors and decor in my mansion. Whether they are lavish or mundane depends on me. Works earn my degrees and they prove my devotion. Works are about doing things which honor my Lord, and often works are about fulfilling commands given to me by Him. Works are about doing things also to benefit me in my life, although the works required of me by my Lord do often benefit me in the end. However, my intention is not to be self benefit when doing works in His name. It is more to state that such works of faith teach me many things and those things are priceless to me.

5) Discipline
Discipline is vital to me. It is central to my faith and my life. It is about maintaining structure in matters of faith and in life. It is about moderation and knowing what is beneficial to do to excess and what is not. It is about preventing damaging obsessions and addictions. It is about choosing the order of importance of matters in my life based on what is more beneficial and what is less.

6) Illumination
Illumination is vital to me, the capstone to my pyramid. It is about seeking knowledge within and without. It is about seeking gnosis as much as it is about having working knowledge of the sciences and advancements within them. It is also about the successful application of knowledge and the collection of experience, and these together lead to wisdom. Illumination is the only deification I know of, the only apotheosis. Realizing illumination means I have realized the fullness of my potential and may therefore seek another and greater goal, if there is one to be sought.
 

ThirtyThree

Well-Known Member
This hour long prayer is proving intensely difficult. Then, my aversion to it only proves how terribly selfish I am. It is an hour of my life, which I have no issue spending in communication with Him. However, praising His name like a religious zealot bothers me. He deserves it, yes. It just goes against my ego. Regardless, I must succeed with this, else He refuses to teach me further lessons until I do.
 
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