Question for the Ladies: hormones and mood swings and tantrums, oh my!

[Treks]

Hello ladies

Have (do) any of you suffer from regular (for arguments sake lets say 'monthly' hehe) mood swings or hormonal depressions?

If so, what strategies do you employ to handle it?

For more than 10 years I've put up with big hormonal mood swings and attitude issues, which I'm sure was partly responsible for the breakdown of my first relationship, and is now putting additional stress on my marriage.

If I take a contraceptive like the Pill I'm fine, but my doctor doesn't want me to take the Pill because of my family history of eostrogen-related cancer. I've tried the depo-provera shot and although it evened out the mood overall it didn't really work for me in other (not insignificant) areas.

And honestly I don't want to be putting hormones into my body. But I've got a complicated marriage, I'm the only one who works, and I'm tired and stressed a lot and usually I can take everything in my stride and manage with a positive attitude but for a week or so every cycle I just feel like it's all too much, I cry, struggle to be nice or even just normal with my husband (who is very sensitive and routined so if I change the tone of my voice one morning all hell breaks loose), struggle to be civil with my co-workers, feel depressed and dejected and every small thing becomes a massive issue for me, passive-aggressively.

So yeah, any tips on how to gain perspective while in the bottom of this moody pit would be really appreciated.

Thanks

 

[Pegg]

that sounds pretty tough, sorry to hear.

i get more agitated during that time, and i can get grumpy.... i think that knowing when that time of the month is coming around is important to keep in mind, even mark it on the calendar so you can prepare for it.

It sounds like that may be the time you need to offload some of the burden...you need to lighten your load at those times. Maybe ask you husband to do more around the house/cooking/washing/cleaning for the week so that you can come home and relax. Also maybe it would be good to buy out some time for yourself...take a walk when you get home, go for a swim at the local pool, or do something else that you enjoy.

 

[Vinayaka]

and is now putting additional stress on my marriage.

This from a guy so only the 'guy' perspective. Make sure he understands this all really well. I put blame on her when I shouldn't have. My only defense is I didn't understand the mood swing part, and I wish somebody like a counsellor would have given me a really good pamphlet on it so I wouldn't have taken it all so personal, but with a tad more understanding.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Yes I do, my patience wears thin when I'm on my period and I feel more physically and emotionally sensitive.
How do I handle it? Tea and cookies and chocolate.
I think the best you can do is explain that to him and get him to make you tea and tell him if he does nice things for you like make you tea you won't be so angry.

 

[ratikala]

namaste:namaste

Hello ladies

Have (do) any of you suffer from regular (for arguments sake lets say 'monthly' hehe) mood swings or hormonal depressions?

If so, what strategies do you employ to handle it?

For me I think one of the first things is diet and the second equaly important some form of meditation ,

all I can say is that I got stricter and stricter about my diet as I got more into my meditation , ....I have been pure vegetarian now for a very long time (no onion , no garlic , no red chilli , no excesively strong spices , no cafine ) and as much as possible no pre prepaired foods , so no aditives , as much organic as I can afford (which isnt a lot at present ) but at least I stick ridgedly to un refined and whole foods and very little soya (allmost none).....
but I must say the mood swings of earlier years dissapeared with a better diet , and meditation can only be helpfull in reducing any forms of stress , tension , anxiety, ....

but years ago I was taking oil of evening primrose oil in combination with B6 for my skin (I used to suffer ezema ) and was amazed to notice the efect it had upon monthly mood swings and dips , ....so much so that I recomended it to a freind who drove her poor husband crazy at certain times of the month , ......a couple of months later I got an enormous hug from the husband who said the transformation was incredible ...

but I do think that diet is incredibly important and I think that too many vegetarians use to much soya if you have it ? I would suggest staying of it for at least three months , and many non vegies are also taking much more soya than they think as it is hidden in so many pre prepaired foods .

but the primrose oil is well worth a try with B6 or complete B complex which can be found in natural form in brewers yeast .

best wishes,

 

[Monotheist 101]

If so, what strategies do you employ to handle it?

I'm not a girl but my strategy is..split for a few days..

Or buy her chocolates and be more understanding by flipping the switch and turning the notch up on my ********/non-sense bearing threshold.

I think it's all part of what makes a woman the beautiful creation that I have learned to love..I dont think its ever been tooo big of an issue for me or the women that I have known, I can always somehow find a way to disperse tension and spread love and happiness , or if that doesnt work...put up with the *****in for a few days..

 

[dawny0826]

Hello ladies

Have (do) any of you suffer from regular (for arguments sake lets say 'monthly' hehe) mood swings or hormonal depressions?

If so, what strategies do you employ to handle it?

For more than 10 years I've put up with big hormonal mood swings and attitude issues, which I'm sure was partly responsible for the breakdown of my first relationship, and is now putting additional stress on my marriage.

If I take a contraceptive like the Pill I'm fine, but my doctor doesn't want me to take the Pill because of my family history of eostrogen-related cancer. I've tried the depo-provera shot and although it evened out the mood overall it didn't really work for me in other (not insignificant) areas.

And honestly I don't want to be putting hormones into my body. But I've got a complicated marriage, I'm the only one who works, and I'm tired and stressed a lot and usually I can take everything in my stride and manage with a positive attitude but for a week or so every cycle I just feel like it's all too much, I cry, struggle to be nice or even just normal with my husband (who is very sensitive and routined so if I change the tone of my voice one morning all hell breaks loose), struggle to be civil with my co-workers, feel depressed and dejected and every small thing becomes a massive issue for me, passive-aggressively.

So yeah, any tips on how to gain perspective while in the bottom of this moody pit would be really appreciated.

Thanks

I have PMDD and it might be worth checking into as I can relate much to what you've posted. There's a lot of overlap with PMDD, depression, anxiety, etc.

facts for health--premenstrual dysphoric disorder
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I was placed on Zoloft, after diagnosis, which helped to regulate my hormones over time as well as assisted with the depression that accompanies PMDD. I've come off medication, though situational stress can make the week before my period absolute hell.

I have a great physician who is open to allowing me to take smaller dosages of Zoloft, as needed, the week before my period. Fortunately, I've been able to manage without additional support from anti-depressants, but, knowing that I have this options helps to cope.

I've also been to therapy, gaining a better understanding of my personality and how I can better cope with the anger, the weeping, the irrationality, etc. It really boils down to understanding what's going on with me...it's hormonal and chemical for me and how I can best cope with it.

 

[Treks]

Big thanks to everyone for your responses and ideas.

Pegg: Hubby is usually pretty good at home. He doesn't give me too much reason to be antsy towards him. It's more a case of all the little things adding up and I worry about them and fixate on them when they haven't bothered me as much for the rest of the cycle. He doesn't really understand, I've tried to talk to him about it before. I just try to go into my shell and then he starts asking me what's wrong all the time and I just feel so aggressive towards him. When you say I should do something I enjoy, well I don't generally enjoy anything at this particular time. Everything is bland. Except stuffing my face with food, hehe.

Ratikala: I've had this problem while I was an omnivore and also now that I'm a vegetarian. Never really taken much notice of how much soya I consume though. I try to avoid it a little bit but not as much as I should. Meditation might be a good suggestion, I'll definately look into that one. It will probably disintegrate into me sulking in the corner feeling sorry for myself hehehe. I'm really glad you figured out how to manage your cycle. I've tried evening primrose oil for a few months but to no avail.

Dawny: Thanks for the links. Reading some of those other lady's descriptions was like reading about myself. One in particular who makes references to guilt. Yeah, I can definately relate to that.

My doc suggested Zoloft to me a few months ago but I said I'd try the depo-provera first. I'm scared of taking the Zoloft, to be honest.

You talk about therapy and understanding what's going on with yourself, but when you're in the grip of it how do you maintain rationality? Intellectually I know whats going on, on know I'm being nasty, but the negative feelings come from deep inside and take control. It's like my body is controlling me instead of my mind, I'm just an observer! To the point that I know if I just say 'sorry' or be more gentle with my tone it would be ok, but inside I'm stubborn and don't want to. *hmph!* <- just like that.

But yeah, thanks everyone, even those people I didn't address directly above.

 

[crossfire]

I used vipassana meditation to observe my PMS, and saw that a large component of it was PTSD from a traumatic childbirth labor and delivery. (The lower back pains you get are very much like the early stages of childbirth labor.!)

The vipassana meditation will allow you to differentiate between the actual physical/hormonal influences (which will fade very quickly, but are very persistent in starting up again--you get cycles of mini-surges of hormones,) and the reactions your mind will have to these hormonal surges. (In my case, my mind would cling to the experience of the hormonal surges in an effort to try to identify what was wrong instead of letting go when the surge passed.)

Vipassana meditation will give you an avenue to identify what is going on, and can clear up a lot of the mental clinging, but the physical hormonal surges will continue. However, vipassana is also quite handy for identifying/comparing how well different physical treatments actually work on the physical hormonal surges. I've found that magnesium is very helpful. Chocolate contains a lot of magnesium, which might explain why many women crave chocolate during this time. However, almonds and almond milk are also very good sources of magnesium, and work just as well as dark chocolate.

Some yoga asanas are also helpful--downward facing dog, upward facing dog, triangle poses, halsana (plow,) wide angle pose against a wall (upavishtha konasana,) and the cobbler pose, especially if you use a belt and lie acrossed bolster--supta baddha konasana. link for supta baddha konasana

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Hormone shifts are hugely impactful on how the body regulates itself. I do what I can to educate as much as I can on how body temperature, brain activity, emotional identification with past memory, etc. affect well-being, appetite, and energy levels.

I went back on the pill in spite of the risk of breast cancer that runs in my family. We are just keeping a close eye through regular mammograms and examinations. What going back on the pill did for me - and we had to start with the lowest dose of estrogen as possible because of my age and family history but then upped the dosage once and found a great prescription - was completely change my appetite for the better, my sleeping habits for the better, my stress level was greatly diminished, etc. Hubbie noticed after a few months of being on the specific dosage of the pill that I don't need as many variable coping strategies as I did before. Primrose oil, lavender, phytoestrogens, chocolate, almonds, etc.....I did it all, too, in my lifetime. With menopause looming around the corner, it has all but eliminated my hot flashes, which was torture about a year ago.

I know not everybody is okay with the pill, but it's made a tremendous difference with my health. Well, that and eliminating gluten and non-cultured dairy products, but that's another conversation.

Good luck! :flower:

 

[Reverend Rick]

My wife said this in front of her Mom & Dad, Brother and his wife.

" I swear, Rick has to be a butt hole at least once every month".

 

[dawny0826]

Dawny: Thanks for the links. Reading some of those other lady's descriptions was like reading about myself. One in particular who makes references to guilt. Yeah, I can definately relate to that.

My doc suggested Zoloft to me a few months ago but I said I'd try the depo-provera first. I'm scared of taking the Zoloft, to be honest.

You talk about therapy and understanding what's going on with yourself, but when you're in the grip of it how do you maintain rationality? Intellectually I know whats going on, on know I'm being nasty, but the negative feelings come from deep inside and take control. It's like my body is controlling me instead of my mind, I'm just an observer! To the point that I know if I just say 'sorry' or be more gentle with my tone it would be ok, but inside I'm stubborn and don't want to. *hmph!* <- just like that.

But yeah, thanks everyone, even those people I didn't address directly above.

Zoloft was the third anti=depressant/anti-anxiety drug that I was placed on and it was the one that worked. Paxil was an absolute nightmare for me, where it would have worked miracles for someone else. Wellbutrin was beneficial for some things, but didn't make me feel any less emotional before my period and the feeling of anger, despair and helplessness was the worst for me.

It's not easy. Find a focus point. For me, I'll fidget with my wedding ring or I'll karate chop my hand. It doesn't hurt but it's something to ground me and you have to stop yourself and breathe. In any given moment...deep, calming breaths...you are okay...you are in control. You are not defined by the way you feel. What you feel is real but it does not define you.

 

[Alceste]

Tai chi sorted that stuff out while I was practicing.

Otherwise, fish oil, evening primrose oil, 5HTp, St. John's wort, valerian root tea, chamomile tea, dark chocolate, and regular exercise (like a walk every day).

That's a lot of stuff, I only ever take one or two at a time, but it's all good for you. Try things out and see if anything works. Some of that stuff does wonders.

Make time for yourself. That one is really important. If you know you don't want to see anybody or talk to anybody, just say so. I'm never crabby when I'm alone. It's just people that get on my nerves once a month. Because there's always people in the house, I dawdle when I'm out running errands. Stop for coffee, go for a hike, go for a swim, go to the library or book store, whatever.

Last but not least, stay away from processed food, especially sugar and wheat.

 

[Treks]

I was doing tai chi towards the end of last year but I stopped practicing it when the lessons stopped. It was also for the duration of the depo so I wouldn't know if it made a difference. I do the walks (I've got a puppy, he's a pretty good personal trainer hehe). Chamomile tea puts me to sleep really quickly but then I wake up after about an hour more anxious than when I fell asleep, Haven't tried the St John's Wort, fish oil (vego), 5HTp (saywhat?) or Valerian root though.

Solitude... I love solitude but like you, there is always someone at home. I feel like I'm constantly waiting for peace and quiet that never comes hehe.

I could pay more attention to my diet, I do have sugary, salty and wheaty habits that should probably change. Oh so many variables.

 

[crossfire]

Be careful with the valerian root. Not only does it smell and taste like stinky socks, it has been known to cause nightmares.

 

[crossfire]

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about this one:

Male axillary extracts contain pheromones that a... [Biol Reprod. 2003] - PubMed - NCBI


When a friend of mine who helps to edit a scientific journal sent me this study, (in a humorous context,) I told him that I could go hang out at the gym with the sweaty guys, but that they would prolly kick me out if I started licking the guys' armpits.