"Real Housewives" star has new book that advocates marital rape

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Exactly,,,How dare he say I LIKE to "turned around" have my clothes ripped off if I say NO to my husband..Im a woman..so when he said "all girls"( he can't even say women) he meant me.

We like to be attacked apparently, let me get all these BDSM examples to justify why he might not be a rapist, no just no!

 

[DallasApple]

We like to be attacked apparently, let me get all these BDSM examples to justify why he might not be a rapist, no just no!

BDSM is MUTUAL ..BDSM isn't "rape" ..So he can not use that as an excuse for what he describes..That's an insult to BDSM practitioners.

 

[dawny0826]

Well if he is lying about rapping his partner than he is still selling the idea that women like to be raped and I have problem with that.

I have a different perspective from what I read. Joe said this:

Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.
Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.

Again, I can't claim to know what's legit or not, as these are celebrities and they aren't the brightest crayons in the box.

What he's saying is deplorable, but, I'm curious to know how this reads in full context. The author on www.jezebel.com is posting snippets from the book - and providing opinion on these snippets. We're not provided the full context of chapters or even what Melissa's thoughts are on Joe's comments.

Saying this doesn't necessarily translate to rape. This could very well be his opinion on what he thinks women want. It's stupid. It's deplorable. It's wrong. But, it doesn't necessarily make him a rapist or translate to her being abused.

If you know anything about American-Italian families like this - they are often quite patriarch focused. What you deem as abusive might very well be comfortable for her.

If a woman falls into a particular role, whether it fits your idea of "right" or healthy, who are you to claim that she's unhappy and victimized?

Regardless, she's making money off of our speculations.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

How is she making money off me?

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

What she said is her partner gets upset if she refuses sex and he has to have sex atleast once a day or he is moody with her that translates to me as a rapist.

 

[DallasApple]

This could very well be his opinion on what he thinks women want. It's stupid. It's deplorable. It's wrong. But, it doesn't necessarily make him a rapist or translate to her being abused.

YES it does..Just because he doesn't think its rape doesn't mean it not RAPE.And that she is not abused.

I can say all kids want to be beat ..they like it they need it..It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.. ..it doesn't make it child abuse when I beat them! Or them abuse victims.

Its idiotic to suggest that..

 

[Me Myself]

What she said is her partner gets upset if she refuses sex and he has to have sex atleast once a day or he is moody with her that translates to me as a rapist.

That alone does not at all translate as him being a rapist.

Him ripping women's clothes off whenever he wants because he assumes he will definetely like it , does.

Then again, now that I think both quotes in context, if he didnt get sex everyday and he wanted sex everyday, then it does not follow he does just "takes it" any time she says no.

We have not seen the full book so we cant appreciate everything in proper context. For the little we've seen, I find the claim dangerous, but we must understand we dont have the full text.

 

[DallasApple]

I THINK all men love to be beat in the face with a baseball bat while sleeping..they all want it whether they admit it or not..

So if I beat my husband in the face with a baseball bat I'm not "abusing him" because I believe that's what he wants even if he says "no".. Since I "believe" that's what he wants he has not been "abused " by me and is not a victim of "abuse"...

 

[Me Myself]

YES it does..Just because he doesn't think its rape doesn't mean it not RAPE.And that she is not abused.

I can say all kids want to be beat ..they like it they need it..It doesn't matter if I believe that ..it doesn't make it not child abuse when I beat them! Or them not abuse victims.

Its idiotic to suggest that..

While I definetely prefer child spanking to be ilegal, I know as a child that I prefered the spanking to the "no more tv for the while day" punishment I usually got.

Spanking was tried on me maybe twice on my whole childhood. I dont remember what I thought beyond comforting myself it was better than no tv, I barely remember the physical pain on my bottom, but the biggest impression on my memory was the face my mother put. She hated what she was doing, she was just desperate. She couldnt bring herself to do it many times again (again, i think it happened twice, in all) and the tv punishments went on as usual.

The worst pains in my life have had NOTHING to do with physical pain.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

That alone does not at all translate as him being a rapist.

Him ripping women's clothes off whenever he wants because he assumes he will definetely like it , does.

Then again, now that I think both quotes in context, if he didnt get sex everyday and he wanted sex everyday, then it does not follow he does just "takes it" any time she says no.

We have not seen the full book so we cant appreciate everything in proper context. For the little we've seen, I find the claim dangerous, but we must understand we dont have the full text.

The is rape by emotional blackmail also! I'm sorry you don't know that.

 

[Me Myself]

The is rape by emotional blackmail also! I'm sorry you don't know that.

Pphhh anyone has tthe right to be angry..

You expecting him to feel differently or his wife is being raped. Thats absolutely idiotic.

 

[dawny0826]

What she said is her partner gets upset if she refuses sex and he has to have sex atleast once a day or he is moody with her that translates to me as a rapist.

That's not what she said. THIS is what she said:

In the beginning, Joe wanted to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times…If I didn't give it to him once a day, he'd get upset.

I can do something that ****** him off on a Monday, but if we had sex on Sunday night, it blows over more easily. But if we haven't done it for two days and I give him attitude? It could be a huge fight.

In the beginning, my husband and I were intimate every day and I'd get a little grumpy if he didn't give it up. But, that doesn't mean that I raped him. I did however playfully tease him and joke about my appetite for him.

FH and I get a little antsy if we go for more than a couple of days without physically connecting with each other. When you're married, and different people value these connections differently, you do tend to try to connect and please the other person.

Different perspectives.

 

[DallasApple]

While I definetely prefer child spanking to be ilegal, I know as a child that I prefered the spanking to the "no more tv for the while day" punishment I usually got.

Whatever..your feet being burned with fire..O.K ..Its abuse..

And besides a woman isn't a mans child to be "disciplined"..

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Pphhh anyone has tthe right to be angry..

You expecting him to feel differently or his wife is being raped. Thats absolutely idiotic.

Someone has a right to be angry if someone else doesn't want to have sex with them, really?

 

[Me Myself]

Whatever..your feet being burned with fire..O.K ..Its abuse..

And besides a woman isn't a mans child to be "disciplined"..

Of course she is not. I am sorry if I missed something, but I dont catch the feet on fire reference. I am just telling you from first hand experience that discipline by spanking aint mind blowing scarring childhood experience or anything.

I dont think its a good way to send a message, but there are way worst parentings. I find name calling to be way more scarring to a child than spanking as a way of discipline.

 

[dawny0826]

YES it does..Just because he doesn't think its rape doesn't mean it not RAPE.And that she is not abused.

I can say all kids want to be beat ..they like it they need it..It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.. ..it doesn't make it child abuse when I beat them! Or them abuse victims.

Its idiotic to suggest that..

Only she and perhaps a mental health professional can determine if she's being abused, Dallas. You're not qualifed, I'm sorry.

It's rather arrogant to claim that you have such insight into the emotional health of others.

I prefer to take ownership of the fact that I'm speculating as to what's going on in the personal lives of this couple, as opposed to claiming with certainty that this woman is being raped.

 

[Me Myself]

Someone has a right to be angry if someone else doesn't want to have sex with them, really?

Someone has the right to be angry period.

For whatever s/he wants. You can be angry because the sky is blue, its your right.

Its not useful at all, but you can do it. I can be angry because someone doesnt give me food and is eating in front of me something I like. It doesnt become extortion to get the food unless I am deliberately acting different in order to get whatever I want.

When I was sad/angry with my ex, she would notice it because I stopped being sweet and became to silent. I was so because I do as I feel and I didnt feel the usual sweetness towards her in those moments, so naturally, my attitude showed it, I definetely dont fake affection. I didnt hug then, I didnt reply back to physical affection, etc. I wasnt extorting anything out of her, but I have the right to feel how I want.

Likewise, she would have had everyright to feel sad or angry about my attitude too.


I mean seriously, people have every right to feel however they want. I am amazed you can think differently.

 

[dawny0826]

Someone has a right to be angry if someone else doesn't want to have sex with them, really?

Sure. We have a right to feel whatever we feel. We have every right to feel anger.

Is this healthy? Maybe or maybe not, depending on the indivdual.

An indidual doesn't have the right to physically harm another human being, regardless.

 

[Me Myself]

Sure. We have a right to feel whatever we feel. We have every right to feel anger.

Is this healthy? Maybe or maybe not, depending on the indivdual.

An indidual doesn't have the right to physically harm another human being, regardless.

Pretty much.

 

[Me Myself]

I am seriously surprised at the victimhood attitude.

Unless he feels however you want about sex or lack of sex with you, he is raping you.

Wow, thats such a wise way to look at it.