"Real Housewives" star has new book that advocates marital rape

[dawny0826]

How is she making money off me?

That was rhetorical. And I love the way you dodge addressing the points that I've presented.

 

[Me Myself]

So, seriously.

While I find the claim to be problematic, if he was talking literally about just taking her whenever he wanted, how did she have the ability to experiment his mood swings when he didnt have sex?

I mean, he is saying they want it all e time and no always means yes... So why did he miss any day of sex if he is speaking literally?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Some people are comparing the rhetoric displayed by Mrs. Gorga to be similar to the rhetoric and storyline from the book The Feminist and the Cowboy, where it had been said that a week after this book was released, the author revealed on her blog that it was an abusive relationship. The relationship depicted a journey from "feminism" to "happiness" and where she learned to submit to a strong conservative man and apparently found happiness.

Until she apparently was thrown from a car. The relationship is no more, btw.

The reviews of the book are telling. There is an excerpt from the book where Ms. Valdes (the author) "challenged" her boyfriend, and he pushed her into the bedroom and taught her a lesson on why she should "obey."

At first glance, the stories seem remarkably similar. I would be concerned for this author if she were to confirm that this behavior does occur in their household. If somebody were to say to me that all woman want to be dominated, to have their hair pulled, and that a husband should not take "no" for an answer, I would argue against that. And if this behavior is confirmed to have happened in the household, I would call the proper authorities to investigate further.

 

[dawny0826]

So, seriously.

While I find the claim to be problematic, if he was talking literally about just taking her whenever he wanted, how did she have the ability to experiment his mood swings when he didnt have sex?

I mean, he is saying they want it all e time and no always means yes... So why did he miss any day of sex if he is speaking literally?

Here's Melissa, talking about her own book.

[youtube]zNsJJczB9U8[/youtube]
Melissa Gorga Shares Marital Secrets in New Book - YouTube

 

[DallasApple]

So, seriously.

While I find the claim to be problematic, if he was talking literally about just taking her whenever he wanted, how did she have the ability to experiment his mood swings when he didnt have sex?

I mean, he is saying they want it all e time and no always means yes... So why did he miss any day of sex if he is speaking literally?

Well somehow she does "get away " with no .Because she also explained how to give a "hard no" ..Which was something along the lines of 'don't swat his hand away" IOW a "nice no"..Be nice about a no..don't yell it..

 

[DallasApple]

Here's Melissa, talking about her own book.

[youtube]zNsJJczB9U8[/youtube]
Melissa Gorga Shares Marital Secrets in New Book - YouTube

Her father abandoned her and her mother and he died when she was a teenager..that doesn't excatly lean credit that she is in a healthy marriage now.

 

[dawny0826]

At first glance, the stories seem remarkably similar. I would be concerned for this author if she were to confirm that this behavior does occur in their household. If somebody were to say to me that all woman want to be dominated, to have their hair pulled, and that a husband should not take "no" for an answer, I would argue against that. And if this behavior is confirmed to have happened in the household, I would call the proper authorities to investigate further.

As would I, if I knew for certain that Mrs. Gorga was being mistreated by her husband. But, making a statement in the context of how a man and woman function within their marriage and seemingly, by their own free will, is quite different than a man having this opinion and acting upon such whims, without care as to his wife's feelings.

Again, I'm curious as to the full context of Melissa's book and her thoughts on her marriage.

I think any person who cares would call the proper authorities if they suspected an abusive situation.

Unlike some, I cannot label a man a rapist, based solely upon a few snippets of a book.

 

[Me Myself]

Well somehow she does "get away " with no .Because she also explained how to give a "hard no" ..Which was something along the lines of 'don't swat his hand away" IOW a "nice no"..Be nice about a no..don't yell it..

Meh. As I said, I cant value the book or the relationship, but there are definetely different noes for all of us in most if not all circumstances.

Maybe she is ian abusive relationship, maybe not. The claim is barbaric, but I am just saying that we cant know by little excerpts.

That's all.

 

[Me Myself]

As would I, if I knew for certain that Mrs. Gorga was being mistreated by her husband. But, making a statement in the context of how a man and woman function within their marriage and seemingly, by their own free will, is quite different than a man having this opinion and acting upon such whims, without care as to his wife's feelings.

Again, I'm curious as to the full context of Melissa's book and her thoughts on her marriage.

I think any person who cares would call the proper authorities if they suspected an abusive situation.

Unlike some, I cannot label a man a rapist, based solely upon a few snippets of a book.

Agreed on all of it.

 

[dawny0826]

Her father abandoned her and her mother and he died when she was a teenager..that doesn't excatly lean credit that she is in a healthy marriage now.

Nor does it support that her husband abuses her.

I won't claim to know how happy this woman is.

It's not as if people can't come from tragedy and emerge happy people. We all have problems.

 

[Me Myself]

Nor does it support that her husband abuses her.

I won't claim to know how happy this woman is.

It's not as if people can't come from tragedy and emerge happy people. We all have problems.

Dont be ridiculous. Anyone who had those two things happen to her in her childhood is so deeply %^* that anyone who is in a relationship with them is a rapist.

We should legislate it already its so obvious

 

[DallasApple]

As would I, if I knew for certain that Mrs. Gorga was being mistreated by her husband. But, making a statement in the context of how a man and woman function within their marriage and seemingly, by their own free will, is quite different than a man having this opinion and acting upon such whims, without care as to his wife's feelings.

Again, I'm curious as to the full context of Melissa's book and her thoughts on her marriage.

I think any person who cares would call the proper authorities if they suspected an abusive situation.

Unlike some, I cannot label a man a rapist, based solely upon a few snippets of a book.

First of all you said YOU DONT CARE..

2nd of all any fool knows a 3rd party can not call in "authorities" to intervene on an adult to adult abusive situation ..its ridiculous and ignorant to suggest so.

There is no "spouse protective services" ..You can call 9-11 if you hear something in the act..but you can't call for an "investigation" if you :"suspect" spousal abuse..Stop being ridiculous.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I have a different perspective from what I read. Joe said this:



Again, I can't claim to know what's legit or not, as these are celebrities and they aren't the brightest crayons in the box.

What he's saying is deplorable, but, I'm curious to know how this reads in full context. The author on www.jezebel.com is posting snippets from the book - and providing opinion on these snippets. We're not provided the full context of chapters or even what Melissa's thoughts are on Joe's comments.

Saying this doesn't necessarily translate to rape. This could very well be his opinion on what he thinks women want. It's stupid. It's deplorable. It's wrong. But, it doesn't necessarily make him a rapist or translate to her being abused.

If you know anything about American-Italian families like this - they are often quite patriarch focused. What you deem as abusive might very well be comfortable for her.

If a woman falls into a particular role, whether it fits your idea of "right" or healthy, who are you to claim that she's unhappy and victimized?

Regardless, she's making money off of our speculations.

What he basically just said is if your wife says no keep pushing her, dominate her until she gives in, men are easy just give us what we want. He sounds like a rapist to me.

 

[Me Myself]

What he basically just said is if your wife says no keep pushy her, dominate her until she gives in, men are easy just give us what we want. He sounds like a rapist to me.

People who get moody for not having sex sound like rapists to you.

You dont seem a terribly great measure for who is a rapist.

 

[dawny0826]

First of all you said YOU DONT CARE..

2nd of all any fool knows a 3rd party can not call in "authorities" to intervene on an adult to adult abusive situation ..its ridiculous and ignorant to suggest so.

There is no "spouse protective services" ..You can call 9-11 if you hear something in the act..but you can't call for an "investigation" if you :"suspect" spousal abuse..Stop being ridiculous.

I've already explained to you what I meant by that statement, Dallas.

Any fool knows that you can dial 9-1-1 if you see a rape, or abusive situation in progress. That precisely what I meant by my statement.

 

[DallasApple]

What he basically just said is if your wife says no keep pushy her, dominate her until she gives in, men are easy just give us what we want. He sounds like a rapist to me.

Correction ..he says if she says no you turn her around and RIP her clothes off.

He later in an interview said when asked if she never refuses him "no not really ..she fights it but I always win".

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

People who get moody for not having sex sound like rapists to you.

You dont seem a terribly great measure for who is a rapist.

It's not just being moody it's everything he said about how he views women's right to refuse sex.

 

[dawny0826]

What he basically just said is if your wife says no keep pushy her, dominate her until she gives in, men are easy just give us what we want. He sounds like a rapist to me.

It's not rape if she consents.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Correction ..he says if she says no you turn her around and RIP her clothes off.

He later in an interview said when asked if she never refuses him "no not really ..she fights it but I always win".

I'm sure he does always "win" because he is a sexual predator

 

[DallasApple]

People who get moody for not having sex sound like rapists to you.

You dont seem a terribly great measure for who is a rapist.

They sound like bullies at best..bullying a woman into sex.Its not "moody"..and she referred to it being 2 days..

You want to defend that?