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Reasons spouses stay with 'Sexual Predator?'

Acim

Revelation all the time
*Bolded parts are main points, or intended for the TL;DR crowd

Really not sure where to put this thread, but anticipate mostly discussion and because of what I'm choosing to go with, I anticipate (political) debate.

Essentially, I'm wondering why the partner/spouse of a political person known to have 'sexual predator type issues' chooses to stay with that person? Plus wondering why that 'sexual predator' has the issue in the first place?

So, let's look at Bill Clinton, Donald Trump and for the fun of it Anthony Weiner. I think in all 3 of these cases the spouse (female) was aware of possible infidelity well before it became a political issue. It is possible they weren't aware, but once it became nationally known issue, then my inquiry is really, why would the spouse choose to stay? And what is that saying about that type of relationship?

________________________​

I'm thinking the obvious answer is it is allowing the spouse to stay in a lifestyle they have grown accustomed to and are quite comfortable with. Plus there is the idea that despite the problem (legal and relationship wise), they still genuinely love the person and are able to overlook the problem, feel that together they can move past it. Possibly that the relationship can be even stronger than what it was before the problem.

I do realize each of these cases have nuances that depending on who's responding could be seen as "vastly different" in each case, but I also think and is possibly where I'd debate that gist of (willingness to engage in) infidelity is common and is truly at heart of the issue. So much so that I see that in what seems like overwhelming majority of romantic/sexual relationships that I'm familiar with (either personally - among own self, family and friends, or those outside my circle - among political types, celebrities, even pretty much all fictional stories I can think of.) Yet, there's the overwhelming opinion, I think, that presumes monogamy is the way to live and that being committed to your partner for as long as you're together is either the standard relationship model, or what vast majority think is best for them. I'll note that I've had polygamy / open relationship type ideology for most to all of my adult life. So, I understand I'm in a minority and am actually far more aware of monogamy ideas and lifestyles than I am of what my position entails (essentially, I've never been promiscuous type, and have always understood that open relationships allow for monogamy while monogamy doesn't allow for open relationships, or draws rather sharp lines). Anyway, I'm compelled to say everything in this paragraph, because I truly see it at the heart of such a discussion. I think it is the false promises made by two individuals trying to live up to the ideal monogamous relationship as to why the problem does exist.

I also do think that the spouse in each of the above cases bears a level of responsibility for the problem. To the point of they do enable it. It could be this point that ends up being main aspect of any ensuing discussion. It is hard for me to fathom how anyone who sees monogamy as the righteous type of relationship to engage in could think that their next (or current) one is not going to lead to one of the spouses to cheat. Because their relationship is somehow different than the millions that came before it. So, I really think women attract this sort of guy into their lives and part of the attraction to the person is this, but is not seen for what it is. Not sure how to make sense of that exactly, but also not sure how to get around the idea that it truly seems to me that in each of the cases noted in this thread (along with dozens of others I'm familiar with) that the female is in no way responsible for the male behavior. Or responsible for choosing to be in monogamous relationship with 'that type of guy.' I also do think, but this would be where it gets tricky for me, that the female could possibly be huge reason why the guys is the way he is, such that the guy doesn't get some to all of his sexual needs fulfilled at home and feels he's tried often enough to change that (at home), but decides to go outside of the home/relationship to fulfill his needs.

________________________​

Saying a lot here, but is something I think of often cause of how often it comes up. Monogamist types are clearly the majority and yet seemingly encounter this problem virtually every day. Not all of them, but at least one of them, and I come into contact with that problem (even outside of political season) on at least a weekly basis. Pretty much every week since I've been an adult this has popped up on my radar in some fashion.

With politics or with celebrity types, it is routinely spun in such a way where male is sexual predator type and female is 100% victim. This thread is acknowledging that, but raising points that counter that and essentially asking how much responsibility, at all the female has in the problem, especially if she chooses to stay with the male AND it happens again (and again)?

Wish to note that I don't see this as a heterosexual (male to female) problem only, but is honestly the way it pops up on my radar most often.
 

idav

Being
Premium Member
From my understanding, people generally don't like being cheated on, save for open relationships, but even then can be problematic. Therefore people don't enable their spouse to do such things. It's also been been my experience where people don't believe when someone try's to confide truths about their spouses iniquities. It is ultra ultra rare that a women will enable a spouses sexual depravities such as rape but not heard of.
 

McBell

Unbound
A short list of reasons:
  1. Fear of being alone
  2. green card
  3. money
  4. they will be the one to fix him
  5. tradition
  6. denial
 
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